the one about the 'nanner sandwich
tuesday, december 26, 2000
well, that whole christmas thing is over now. everybody take a great big breath and release it slowly. there. now that wasn't so bad was it?
so i get this email. well, its wasn't really an email. it was
a 'forward'. and let me tell you something, i hate forwards, fwd,
fw.... whatever. i really hate them. and this particular fwd was
about the dali lama and his advice or something about the year
2001.
and actually i'm fine with that. the dali lama doesn't bother me
and i try my darndest not to bother him.
anyway, the thing i hate about fwds is that black and blue type/copy you gotta dig thru to get to the message that has nothing personal in it whatsoever. its like a trail of impersonalness. gads.
so i get this forward right? and instead of me reading it and gaining some sort of uplifting advice from the dali lama, i "stole" all the email addresses and added them to my list of weekly email recipients. so if my name doesn't look familiar to you, don't panic. i'm not selling anything. i just send an email out once a week, its real simple. and if this upsets you in any way, don't blame me, blame the shemp that forwarded that email.
on with the show...
this week's email is another parafable. its sort of a true story.
my father was telling me a funny story today. one time while he was getting his teeth cleaned he overheard two of the hygenists talking. and one of the ladies said that she and her family had taken grandma to fred frobster (its a sea food eating place). but grandma, you see, lived in a nursing home. so this trip to the restaurant was a big deal for gran. in fact, it was big deal for everybody. its not everyday that you go to a fancy restaurant with gran now is it?
so the fam is all there and they're looking over the menu and its grandma's turn to order and the lady asks her gran, "grandma, what do you want to eat?" and grandma replies, "i'd like a 'nanner sandwich."
now what my dad found so funny about the story was that neither of the dental workers thought the story was funny. they merely treated it as just another event. and you know what? they really missed the point didn't they?
because the moral of the story is this:
often times we tell ourselves that this thing we call life is
just "too much" and that we need a vacation or that all
these "problems" are causing us "stress". and
that maybe we should "simplify" our lives so that the
"stress" will no longer bring us "down". (i'm
really enjoying the misuse of "quomatation" marks
today. that reminds me, i gotta funny story about quomatation
marks and the idiot who pronounced it 'quomatation'.) and you
know what? there's nothing simpler than a 'nanner sandwich,
except maybe just the banana, but the thing is you can't have it
simple. we just don't "do" simple. but we try don't we?
grandma tried...and you know what it got her? "no grandma,
you have to order off the menu."
do you SEE what's happening?! are we getting the BIG picture here?! this story isn't just about grandma! its about you and me. its about injustice! its a spiritual/mental battle that we fight everyday! and dare i say that on grandma's big day that battle was lost!! what are you gonna do about that? huh?
i'll tell you what you'll do. you'll order off the menu just like everybody else because it doesn't matter if its your special day or not. it doesn't matter if you're a grandma, a dental hygenist, or the dali lama because "the red" ain't gonna make you a 'nanner sandwich. and to me, that's just sad.
this email wasn't very funny but i think it to be funnier than that movie, Snow Day. of course, i'm not really sure about that because i've never seen that movie, Snow Day. in fact, i'm not sure who would have seen that movie, Snow Day. it sure seemed like it would've been a lame movie, that Snow Day.
mwuah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
until the next year,
jaimie "snow day... yeah. who was in that?" pickle
ok, for those of you who were victims of my evil "steal the email addy's off of that dali lama email" plan, well, i'm sorry. and if you want off my list then all you have to do is ask. however, maybe you should give it a couple of weeks. i mean, its just one email a week and its not like YOU have to do anything, i do all the WORK here. so if you REALLY want off this way-cool-neato-hip list then i'll honor your request to be removed PERMANENTLY from my list, you big baby. (and don't try to beg to get back on because nothing doing buster). and by the way, don't email me and tell me about my pathetic spelling and grammatical errors because i just don't care. (apparently).