3.28.07

June died yesterday afternoon. i know she wasn't having fun anymore (not since December when she fell and broke her head and hip), but still, it's sad. she was my favorite old lady at the HCH.

3.27.07
i would love to wash my car, but it seems REALLY pointless at the moment seeing as how it will be yellow all over again the next day. pollen season is not only a pain in the lungs and throat, but it makes everything look blech. coupla good rains would fix things....as well as make my grass grow 14 more inches.

myst uru spoiler blah blah blah
last week i finally completed the available ages in URU. i did have some help from people i met in the game. i am very glad that i did the Eder Gira/Kemo ages very last. cos if i had done those first? i know myself, and i know that i would have stopped playing the game entirely if i had played those first. the ages themselves weren't that difficult or anything. there were no intense puzzles like in Kadish. it was mostly running around collecting journey cloths. however, there was one journey cloth that was impossible to find. this resulted in me checking out the internet and reading forums and such.

now i had an idea where the cloth was...just not how to get to it. i figured it was in this dark cave that i couldn't navigate because there was no light. i kept going in that cave and clicking randomly in hopes of hitting a light or something. no luck. after hours of not figuring anythig out i hit the forums. so HERE'S how you do it. the cave is in Gira. you gotta go to Kemo and find a swarm of fireflies. you gotta walk through the swarm a couple of times. when some of them swarm around you then you walk WALK because if you RUN they fly away. also you can only jump ONCE. if you jump TWICE they fly away. so you walk to the linking book on the other end of Kemo...Kemo, by the way, has random thunderstorms. if the fireflies get wet THEY FLY AWAY. so if it rains while you have the bugs you gotta wait under one of the gazebos till it stops raining.

so, rules of the fireflies are:
1. no running
2. can only jump once
3. don't get them wet
4. never feed them after midnight

when you link back to Gira you have fireflies still around you. but see, when you get there you've got to cross two patches of water. so you gotta build a bridge out of one of those basket thingies BEFORE you go get bugs. so then you cross your bridge then you jump the other water. then you can see in the cave. there IS a light in the cave after all, BUT THE GAME WON'T LET YOU CLICK IT UNLESS YOU HAVE THE FIREFLIES.

so that's great. but then there wasn't a journey cloth in the cave...just some water falls...which also contained more of those baskets. curious. walking on the outside there was a small waterfall to jump over and then see, THE FIREFLIES FLEW AWAY FOR I HAD ALREADY JUMPED BEFORE. this leads to a DARK CAVE. so there i was thinking i was about to finish the age. but NO. you gotta kick the other baskets over the waterfall to make another bridge where you had to jump so that you can get the fireflies to the other cave.

like i said, if this had been the first place i played i would have quit the game SO FAST. so i go BACK to Kemo to get MORE BUGS and wait out a STORM and then WALK PATIENTLY to the linking book, and link back to gira, and....no bugs....but I'M GLOWING. yes, that's right, A GLITCH IN THE GAME. so i glow my way back to the second cave lighting the way with my glowiness, and there! i see the journey cloth and another light and....it won't let me click either one of them, because though i went through the whole spiel, i didn't TECHNICALLY have fireflies.

i know.

asinine. assy. ass.

by this time i was filled with anger. so i quit and played it a day or so later.

so like i say, if that had not been the last world i played i'm certain i would have totally quit the game because that's not fun it's aggravating.

***

in real news: laura's baby is so cute and i can't wait to see him and hold him again. it's kinda funny cos i'm totally not one for holding babies, especially a brand new one. but cookie was holding him and she says to me she says, "you want to hold him, jaimie?" and i look at the tiny, wittle fweegan thinking how he's so tiny and new and i say, "okay."

it was so easy to hold him cos he was all wrapped up in blankets and also he weighed less than...pretty much anything you pick up all day. and he made little baby sounds. little grunts and things like that. so cute. beyond cute.

earlier in the day while i was at work at the HCH i got a phone call from kris saying that they were in Birmingham and going to have the baby. he was so calm and cool on the phone and i was all, "what?! THAT'S GREAT NEWS! omigod, okay. do you need anything? i'll feed the cats for you! only i don't have a key. that's okay. i'll break a pane in the door, unlock it, feed the cats, go get a new pane from the glaziers, and have it fixed in less than an hour. no problem. eeeeee!"

"we fed the cats before we left. just calling to let you know...baby."

"okay! great! we'll see you tonight! yay!"

as soon as i hung up the phone i started crying. that wouldn't have been so bad if dad, tinley, and sonny hadn't been standing there. because they didn't know what was going on and so we played crying charades.

dad: whoa, hey. are you crying?

me: *nods*

dad: what's going on...i heard you say "GREAT NEWS!" and now you're crying.

me: *nods* baby... *sob*

tinley: laura's having her baby?

me: *nods* *more bawling*

dad: oh no, what's wrong with the baby?

me: *shakes head* *more sobbing*

tinley: are you sad cos you're not down there with them?

i shake my head and in a voice filled with tears and snot i say, "no, i'm just so happy!"

dad's all, "jesus, you scared me to death with all this crying."

tinley was all, "you a little hormonal today?"

and for the next 4 hours i would just start to cry at random intervals.

my brother was coming in to town that evening and i called to tell him i probably wouldn't see him that night because laura's baby was born and we were going to b'ham to see it and he was all, "tell Obi Wan Catoeby i said hi!" which made me laugh. it always surprises me when he refers to the website cos i never think that he (or jimmy) ever reads the site.

3.25.07
things have been busy!
a new fleegan was born!
one of my favorite people and oldest friend got married!
my little bro came to town!
tons of yard work that i've barely made a dent in!
fiddy!

book title of the day: Thou Shalt Not Grill

3.17.07
death title: Scrub-a-Dub-Dead
book title of the day: Grape Expectations

lotsa food puns in the book world.

**

the reefer log has me puzzled by the search for "paul newman anal butter scene"...wha?

**

my hair has been cut, my hat fits, i've solved two of the URU ages (Kadish and Teledahn), finished the 3rd O'Malley book, started the 4th one, saw 300, and did some laundry.

we spent friday evening with the 3 Nooges in honor of Florrie's birthday. Florrie makes the best food. Dante killed a deer and we ate pieces of it. we drank wine and talked about the world. and Dante told us of the grossest, most horrible nose-bleed in the whole world.

**

15 days till opening day.

Yanks play Tampa Bay in the opener.

3.13.07
continuing with the "dead" theme, here's the titles of two books that were returned today:
Yankee Doodle Dead and
Candy Apple Dead.
see? i don't lie.

book title of the day: Assault and Pepper

you know you love it.

***

my hair is so long that my hat doesn't fit (too tight means too much hair) and when i'm not wearing a hat it looks like i've got a hair helmet. i get a trim tomorrow. eeeeeee!

***

i'm about halfway through the 3rd O'Malley book. it's become VERY formulaic, but it's still keeping me reading so...i guess that means we both suck, the author and i. hee.

3.11.07

okay. now i have 4 jobs.

my fourth "job" is Myst Uru Live. hee.

i remember long ago watching my two buddies, laura and liz, get TOTALLY obsessed with some gay computer game called Myst. it was so gay that there wasn't any actual movement in the game. it was was played one screen at a time. and they would spend actual human time trying to solve puzzles invovling colors and levers and other gay junk like that.

i think the reason i never got into it was because i liked the "regular" video games with "real" plots and "actual" movement like for instance...plumbers who try to save princesses from turtles and dragons...not like that gay stuff they were playing.

you guys are getting the sarcasm, right?
right?

anyway, i'm now addicted to Myst Uru Live because
A. it's a character (that you design!) that moves around like a "regular" video game
B. it's online so you play with other people (and let me tell ya, some of the people are really....into the whole Myst lore and whatnot. like, in a not entirely healthy way.)
C. you can't die. there's no killing. just collecting light balls and solving impossible, hair-pulling, evil, make you want to hit someone in the throat, eye-stabbing, teeth-gnashing, buck-futting, kick a dog for no reason, wicked hard puzzles.

wait, why is this game fun?

****

i haven't read a book all week. i did start one, but then see, i had to play uru live, you understand, right? hm? doncha?
you understand that i had to play it all day and skip breakfast and lunch and dinner, right?
it's okay to eat dinner at 9:30 isn't it? that still counts. i can survive on doritos and diet coke can't i?

oh god, someone help me.

***

i did manage to solve the Kadish level. done. DONE. and it ONLY took me 6,000 hours. and...i had to reset it once.
THEN i had to solve the WHOLE thing twice cos i shut a door and i couldn't open it from the other side NOR could i find a book to get to the OTHER OTHER side and let me tell you i was fit to be tied.
THEN THEN, after i found all the hand cloths, after i solved the vault code, after i clicked the linking book that took me to the same vault only....nothing was in it (except a relto page. and yay! it gave me butterfies in my relto!) and then you can't get back to the regular vault...can you say ASININE?

URU YOU ARE SO FUCKING ASININE!

THEN THEN THEN after walking across the tiny pipe/bridge that liz and i accidentally found earlier (yay for happy accidents!) and after opening the hand door that is supposed to end the age so you can hear Yeesha tell her whatever story so you can get back to your Relto with a totem....

it wouldn't work.

no Yeesha.

no end of level hoopla.

no nothing.

i asked around in a neighborhood and they said it was a glitch.

a glitch you say? glitch? i spent 8 hours solving that damn bullshit and climbing up that long-ass ladder at least 40 times and....glitch? glitch!?

i was...depressed.
then angry.
then in denial.
then even angrier.
then i was so angry i wanted a loaded gun to shoot my computer to death.
then depressed again.
sick, even. but that may have been from skipping meals and drinking soda.

then i played the whole damn thing over AGAIN and it finally worked.

payoff!

and now i'm going to eat something and maybe read a bit of my book.

oh! laura! i'm using that cute little notebook (with the spinning dress thing?) and orange glitter pen you gave me to write my uru notes in. hee!

3.10.07
book title of the day: May the Best Man Die

i love how all you have to do is add Die or Death to a cliche and there you've got a book title. sometimes when i'm returning books to the stacks and i run across a title that doesn't include Die or Death in the title i put them in there. and then i say it in that movie announcer guy's voice all super serious.

"Coming soon. From the 19th century. From the author who brought you Pride and Prejudice and Emma. Comes the story of a place filled with Victorian manners and protocol. Get ready for Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey... of Death."

3.06.07

book title of the day: Hell Hath No Curry

i spent my morning at the Social Security Office of Hell and Damnation today. honestly, you get married and the government has a small cow when your name changes and you don't tell them. talk about drama queens.

and if you think that jury duty is a veritable cornicopia of strangers... well, it is. but the social security office is like Tod Browning's Freaks meets The Gong Show only with crazy checks instead of prizes. in my simple mind i thought i'd be waiting all day in a room with old people and mexicans. (nay nay, you racist bitch, nay nay.) instead there were 2 oldsters, no mexicans, about 3 normals, and the rest was a freakshow of fun.

i thought the joint opened at 8am. so i got there at 8am. it actually opens at 8:30, but when i got there at 8 there was already 6 other people in line at the door. everyone was kinda cool and normal at first. but then...then the squidbilly showed up. he talked about the thousands of dollars he's lost gambling over the years. which is unfortunate, but also, if he'd just spent a couple of hundred on maybe...the dentist...he'd at least have a little something to show for, of course in the south hindsight is pretty much... unobserved. he ended every sentence with, "SON of a GUN LORD jesus mother of GOD."
it was amazing.

then there was the guy who had a knife in his pocket. which, i don't know if you've been in a federal building lately but rule number one of federal building club is:
never talk about federal building club.

rule number 4b is: no weapons, bitches. including but not limited to: guns, bombs, mace, and grandpa's rusty pocket knife.

luckily there was no metal detector and the security guy frisked no one. the security guy, may i add, who had the same build as Sydney Greenstreet and was probably just as spry, was actually good at giving out the numbers and keeping everything rolling. as soon as a number was called he was all, "Number 4? Who's number 4? C'mon number 4, we're busy! Let's see some hussle!" because it makes sense to rush the old people and cripples.

i'm not really complaining about anything though, i'm just telling you what i saw this morning. i had printed out the form i needed from the internet so i was in and out lickety-split. i recommend printing and filling out all the forms you need if you're visiting the SS department. i also recommend taking a tape recorder for the waiting room. it's a treasure trove of random quotations.

3.02.07
fiddy

i sure have been reading lately. i think that working at the library is really helping, not that i get to read on the job, but that i'm constantly around books and getting to talk about books. i love books. i love my job. even the part about working with the public. on one hand, i hate the public. and on the other, nicer hand, i really like getting to meet lots of different people every day.

that's kind of strange isn't it? i would never think of myself as a "people person" at all. perhaps i am growing?

i remember working at the sign shop and being terrifed of everyone who walked in the door. i hated answering the phone or having to call vendors to order things. i was so shy. plus, lots of the customers were assholes and would yell at me for things i had no control over. that gets old and then you get bitter.

working at the HCH i see how i've learned to smile when i talk to people/strangers. i say, "hi" to everyone in my path and it's oozed over into "real life" which is fine at the library, but i notice now that when i'm out, like at the store, and i make eye contact say, with a giant black man in full gangsta regalia i smile at him and say, "hi" as i walk past him. instead of just minding my own business.

it's not uncool or anything. just mostly puzzling. i need to turn off my friendly work face when i'm not working. at least i haven't turned into a Talky Talkerson yet all, "hey gangsta man, i notice you bought the frosted blueberry poptarts. if you get the kind that's not frosted you can put a bit of butter on it when you warm it up and it's AWESOME! see ya."

book title of the day:
You May Now Kill The Bride

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