| October 2005 Dribblings | |
10.31.05 kris and mr. b went to
lowe's today and they were nice and picked a 50lb bag of
seed for me. AND! the abercrombie's had a
"spreader" (i know, totally porn.) and so it
took me no time at all to spread all 50lbs. the dogs
wanted to eat the seed and they were CONSTANTLY either
stealing my bucket that i was using to scoop the seed out
of the bag OR they were trying to drag the bag around the
yard. i hope my lawn is lush and green looking all winterlong. dante drove by JUST as i had put up my lawnmower and he would've been so PROUD because i took the air filter out and cleaned it 'cos it was way dusty when i mowed again. then i went to southside and spent an hour looking at a job and figuring up an estimate. then i went home and took a shower and then mr. fleegan and i went to the catoe's HALLOWEEN EXTRACTULAR! i don't know what that means, extractular. i wanted it to be extravaganza and spectacular put together. but that extra T screws it up. i can't seem to finish any more books! i have two that i'm working on hardcore and STILL i can't finish them. 10.27.05 i have laughed so much this evening that my ribs are hurting and my lungs feel like they have holes in them. swiss cheese lung. jimmy made some awesome chili this evening. it was like Rock 'n Roll chili. i woke up this morning at 4am. well, it was more like i was jerked from a deep sleep into frightful wakeness...one second i was blissfully unaware of life and the next i was choking on my own acid vomit and i couldn't catch my breath. not a great way to start off the day. so there i was choking up acid on my pillow and it hit me, "ew, this is what i get for making fun of those Acid Reflux Whiners. gah, what a bunch of babies." i got up and drank some water and thought how awesome it would be if i'd had some baking soda. i gotta admit that the whole thing was disturbing enough that when i laid back down to sleep i was kinda nervous about it happening again. oh, and there was some kind of weird cartoon on and it was so weird that i had to turn the TV off. it was some kind of anime. and can anyone explain to me why 12oz. Mouse is on? talk about crap on TV. 10.26.05 old weirdness. i have not the vocabulary for spiritual things. later when we got back up to play for ministry time, i was able to get into it better. maybe because it was like i knew what we were up against. so it made me want to really worship the lord so that he would come and take care of business. TCB. then one of the guys from rapha (i think, i don't know who he was. just some cool black dude in a leather coat) got up and played the drums and we jammed on a blues riff (the whole time i'm thinking, "why is the white girl playing bass?") and that was really fun and cool and highly unexpected. glory! (i hope that "glory" made Cookie laugh.) 10.26.05 however, i will never use the Isbell Animal Clinic ever again (that's on N. 12th street) because i never got to speak to a vet, they didn't explain the medicine, and i didn't even get an itemized bill. i didn't get a bill at all. nor did i get a reciept. that place is shady. i call shennnnnanigans! IN OTHER NEWS: there is no other news at this time. 10.24.05 i've never heard of anyone getting a car for her 28th birthday before, but i guess it happens somewhere in the world, probably every day, and aren't i glad it happened to me? yes. yes, i am. it was a gigantic shock. Best asked me, "if someone told you 6 months ago that you'd buy a house and own two cars would you have believed it?" the answer of course is a resounding NO WAY, JOSE. and see, i want to write all about the jeeps, the red one, the black one, the insurance fun i had this morning the license tag fun i had this afternoon, but i can't bring myself to do it. because this afternoon i came home and the basement door was not padlocked and was in fact opened and i thought, "what the-?" and then i thought, "i wonder if the dogs went in there?" and then i thought, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo! nononononononononoooooo!" because the eternal box of rat poison i leave in the basement was gone. and i found it minutes later. in the yard. shredded to bits. and ALL the tasty green pellets of poison were gone. then i checked their water bucket and ALL of the water was gone. NOT a good sign. the dogs seemed fine and were just as happy and rowdy as ever, but i called jimmy and told him and so we took the two mongrels to the vet and they are probably puking as we speak. they'll be staying the night at the vets and I KNOW, I'M THE WORST MOM EVER. SHUT UP. LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE? HM? OH THAT'S RIGHT, YOU'RE PERFECT. i felt like a criminal
bringing the two dogs into the vet's office. i'll tell all the
awesome jeep stories later, after i find out if my dogs
are gonna live. 10. 21.05 I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. I AM FORCED TO WRITE ANOTHER LETTER. Dear Lucy "Dr. Maddy Riordon" Lawless, Hi. I think you're a talented actress, honestly. In fact, it's because I think you're talented that I'm even writing you this letter. I think the old saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." And well, I guess what I'm trying to say is You've been had. They tricked you, again. And this time? It's not their fault. And honestly, Vampire Bats?! Admittedly they seem scarier than say, locusts...but, gosh. And I notice that you play the same character that you played in Locusts! What? Did you sign a 3 movie deal? Is there going to be another Giant, Killer Swarm movie after this one? I mean, am I going to be sitting on the couch sometime this winter minding my own and all of a sudden am I going to see Snowmen! or Elves! or Sugarplum Fairies! advertised? Am I? Because I need to know whether to kick a hole in my TV or not. Sincerely, Everybody i'm totally picturing myself on the couch and seeing the preview for Snowmen! and the GLORIOUS spit-take that follows. 10.20.05 it's a SHOCKING amount of light. it's so bright that it made the room hot. i was all, "wow! this is AWESOME! but i gotta turn it off 'cos it's driving me crazy." lame of me, i know, but i'm not used to the brightness, yet. dad came over during his lunch hour and put it up for me. he got it from the Holy House. i'm just second hand news. i'm just second haaand NEWS! it's a really nice fan. i can't believe how bright it is 'cos it uses those twerpy pointy bulbs. *** i ate lunch all BY
MYse-e-elf! again. at the same picnic table. as the same
BBQ stand. this time i had the cheeseburger. i was torn,
they had beefstew and i thought, hm, if it wasn't a
recordbreaking hot day today i'd have that. but. it was
hot out. in october. in the year 2525 october will be july. i count 3 songs. 10.18.05 *** wow, i feel like i haven't blogged in so long. it's been 5 days. that's a business week. plus? no weeklies. what on earth? who is this girl with the unsatiable love for the dead? did i even spell that right? tonight was another BOWLING NIGHT. i'm not good at bowling. at all. but! since it's only $2.50 a game and $6 a pitcher...i don't really care. it's fun just to rag on each other. flippy always bowls about 90 points higher than me. bowl ho. then she's all pissy when she ONLY knocks down 8 pins. i'm like, i'd give my left beer to knock down 8 pins. although this time i did get two strikes and two spares. but also? i got like 6 gutter ballz. that's no good. i wonder how many church bowling teams call themselves the Holy Rollers? we don't. because we're not in a league. we're just there for funzies. and beer. *** my lips are chapped. they burn. the left over schezuan (SPANISH?!) chicken is NOT HELPING. *** today i painted all alone (yesterday the K-ris helped me paint and it was so fun to have someone to talk to) in a strange town where i don't know where anything is because there isn't anything there (attalla. i was in attalla 1, so don't be talking about the Magic Burger 'cos that's in attalla 3. ). so at lunch i went to this BBQ place that looks like a rundown shack. i love eating at really local places like that. it was some of the BEST BBQ i've had. but also, it's kinda hard to screw up BBQ...unless there's bones in it or something. but it was sad 'cos i sat by myself outside at this picnic table and ate my messy BBQ sandwich all BY MYself. it was a gorgeous day out so i had that going for me. i mean, if it had been raining? i would have had no other choice but to kill myself. i called laura and was all, "i am so lonely! all alone am i!" and she was all, "yeah, that's like, every work day for me." i tell you this in case someday you need the Lonely Pathos...don't call laura 'cos she has you beat unless you drive a truck for a living. what am i even talking about? this blog? is officially out of order. no order today. fresh out. reefer log: 10.13.05 i received a birthday present today from one of my favorite people, Mr. Finlayson aka Liz's Dad. he is one of those people that you enjoy talking with. he knows things about things. what kinds of things? all kinds of things. and? he's the Master of Ebay. this is not debatable. do you want to know what he got me for my birthday? DO YOU?! BECAUSE IT'S REALLY AWESOME AND I'M SO EXCITED AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH! he actually- okay, first, he found it, right? and then he paid actual human money for it. then? he gave it to me! ME! THE 1977 FISHER PRICE MUSIC BOX POCKET RADIO THAT PLAYS WHISTLE A HAPPY TUNE!!! I KNOW! he told me he got it for 99 cents. I KNOW! i told you, Master of Ebay, undebatable. and i've only listened to it 3 quadrillion times since 7pm. it still works! and the trees! are still creepy-looking! it makes me smile a big, goofy smile every time i look at it, and even more so when i play it. Brook, thank you so, so much. 10.12.05 okay, so i read another
book, The Whalestoe Letters, which is like a
supplement to House of Leaves.
It's basically the letters that Johnny's mom wrote + 11
others that were not in HoL. i
know what you're thinking. shut up. i'm padding my book numbers okay? so i had to read a small one okay? shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. DON'T JUDGE ME. how many books have YOU read? *** my stomach hurts. i had a blackened chicken po' boy for dinner. i wish i had eaten only half of it. but no. i ate it like i thought someone was going to take it away from me. PIG. DIRTY PIG WHAT PADS HER NUMBERS BY READING SMALL BOOKS. today i think i yelled
the phrase, "you two boneheads get out of my
way!" probably a dozen times. i was talking to the
dogs. i can't walk 20 feet without stopping 5 times
because they get all up in my way. it's like they walk
ahead of you then turn around and get in your way and
smell you, again, because they just don't want to miss
something. "maybe she's got food now!.....maybe
now!....hey! maybe she has food!" mr. fleegan called me yesterday to let me know that he still hasn't found a naked dishwasher. *** i mowed the lawn this
afternoon! it's the first time i've mowed since Dante
came over and did some lawnmower maintenance mojo on the
mower. it worked great except there was some white smoke
at first but i figure that's from the oil? hm? the smoke
went away pretty fast. also, there was lots of poop in the yard. 2 dogs = 2 tons of poop. aren't you glad you read this? don't you wake up early each day and rush to the Great Internet and log on and click fleegan.com and think to yourself, "i wonder if jaimie stepped in loads of dog poop today?! i hope she tells me all about it! and about her petty aches and pains too! i love banality!" go to www.pumpkingutter.com. tami sparks put the link on the forum. it is THE COOLEST. best part of all? no dog poop. 10.110.5 becaus lehrand hee lujtherans anrew all, "bowlikng? will there be beere? " and the bowlign allet is all, "yeah. of course beeer>." and we;re all, "okaty! boling!" net tiei i must eat before i bolw bevcauese hello? teh 80 year oles lady? she beat me. whAT? osteroperosis my ass. good bowlinger. you should cvome nexxt time. i love yo.u. reefeer log: i was careful to type this ones right,: what color to paint a
sick room 10.10.05 i was talking to liz the
other day about how i don't think i'm going to get 50
books read by the end of the year. i wailed. but i must try or else i'm a quitter. and i don't want to be a quitter. *** My Morning With Margaret. i went outside this morning to put more water in the dogs' water bowl. "dogs" plural because jimmy brought his dog, Kaze (as in Kamikaze) to spending some time with Rockstar Roxy. they are the best of friends. so Crazy Margaret comes out of nowhere, i mean honestly i think she magically appeared, and says that jaimie, jaimie, i need to talk to you. son of a... "what do you want margaret?" "hey, why is his dog still here?" "um. because...they like playing together?" "well, i wouldn't put up with that sh*t." and i don't know if you've ever had the great blessing of hearing Crazy Margaret talk? but she's really southern and really loud. and here she is across from the very busy (even on Columbus Day) Board of Education. "what?" "well here your boyfriend dumps his dog on you and he's probably got him another woman on the other side of town." she hates jimmy. she really hates him. which is funny 'cos he's scared of her. he won't admit it, but he is. hee. "uh huh." "i'm serious. i wouldn't put up with his sh*t! i'd tell him NO! WAIT! here's what i'd do. now listen. LISTEN! i'd take both of those dogs to HIS HOUSE so when he got home HE'D have to deal with them! and then he'd know! he'd respect you then!" "margaret, i'm not listening." she HATES it if you don't listen or if you say no. she can't stand it! "what?! WELL, MAYBE SHE'LL LISTEN WHEN SHE COMES HOME AND FINDS HIM WITH A NAKED LADY IN THE HOUSE AND HE SAYS THAT THE NAKED LADY IS THE NEW DISHWASHER! MAYBE THEN SHE'LL LISTEN!" priceless. do you know how difficult it was not to laugh? i would have laughed but she went on to say that that was what her husband did to her. she came home and there was a naked lady and he said that she was the new dishwasher. my only thought was, "you were married?" "when are you getting married?" she asked out of nowhere. "i don't know." "well, i wouldn't put up with his sh*t. you better-" "margaret, i'm not listening to you. i won't have you bad-mouthing my boyfriend." "well, those dogs are still hungry! you need to feed them more food!" "margaret, they just ate. they're fine." "no they aren't! look at them! they're starving." "well, they'll just have to wait for supper." "that's mean!" "no it isn't. they just had breakfast. they're fine." "you should give them each a scoop of milk do you have any milk if they had some milk it would settle their stomachs and they wouldn't be as hungry. do you have milk?" "i'm not giving them milk." "WHY NOT?! all you gotta do is-" "no, margaret. they've had enough. they're fine." then she says to the dogs, "she's so mean! isn't she! starving you like that!" i walked back inside. and couldn't WAIT to tell jimmy about the naked dishwasher. 10.06.05 tomorrow is cookie's birfday. how many spankings will she get? including the one to grow on? sorry, that info is classified. i've started volunteering again at the local jr. college as a Conversation Partner. it's where you go and talk to foriegn students so they can practice speaking english. i think it's a great program. and it's kinda fun. my partner this time is
a chick from thailand. she speaks pretty good english. she has a
good vocabulary so it's easy to talk to her but sometimes
her pronounciations are off and i'm all,
"what?" 10.05.05 i guess if you've watched the television series you're more attached to the characters and you understand more of what is going on in the movie. so that's a mark against me since i haven't seen the show. but i feel a bit duped as i thought it was going to be funnier than it was, what with the previews making it look funny and all. i didn't count on them showing ALL the funny parts in the previews. i call shennanigans! i won't bore you with all the reasons i didn't like the movie, 'cos it's mostly my hang ups with sci-fi in general (including my knee-jerk reaction to movies about the future that look like the past), except for the parts where my reactions were: "what?! no." those reactions were warranted. i think another reason i didn't enjoy the movie as much was the Narnia preview. i kept thinking about it and wondering if i should read the books first or movie first then books. so if you want to read a snarky review of the slightly blah movie: go here. (i couldn't believe someone else didn't like the movie. she seems to hate it actually. i didn't hate it.) so let me not bore you
with why i didn't like the movie. let me tell you what i
liked. hm? i can't
think of anything else right now. i give it three jose
cansecos. rent it. 10.04.05 this first thing at this job that went wrong is that the rich white lady hired the painters AND the flooring people AT THE SAME TIME. lesson: i don't care what your time frame is, ALWAYS paint BEFORE you redo the hardwood floors, m'kay? i know that you aren't a complete moron, but some people are and that's why i'm having to tell the whole class. so. we are playing Beat the Clock with the floor people which... will never happen. they always win because once they stain and finish the floor there's at least a 2 day period where no one can enter the house. so we will lose AT LEAST 2 painting days. which wouldn't be so bad IF THE PEOPLE WEREN'T MOVING INTO THE HOUSE IN 7 DAYS. *enter maniacal laughter here* so on monday night (we couldn't work there during the day because the floor guys were sanding everything and it's just not a good idea to paint walls only to have the floor guys mess them up with sanding debris. so monday evening we paint 3 rooms and cut in 2 other rooms. today during the day we
get a phone call form the rich, white lady, who by the
way, saw us painting that evening and said how much she
LOVES the color, which by the way, is the same color that
her other house is. and i can only assume that she's
painting everything the same color because her furniture
and stuff already matches. well, she says that we've
painted the wrong color in all those rooms. and YOU KNOW there isn't much difference because SHE WATCHED US paint the rooms. she commented on how she LOVES the color and how FRESH she thinks the color looks. lesson: i don't know if you know what color "chamois" is, or if you can guess what color it is, but let me share something with you. there are only certain colors that you can describe as fresh. they are certain greens, blues, light pinks, maybe a couple of yellows. under no circumstances is ANYONE allowed to refer to a BEIGE as being "fresh". i don't care if it's called "chamois", "shaker", "mocha", "bone", or "chesterton" beige is beige. it's dead. don't get me wrong, i love beige, it really make things nice and simple. "shaker beige" is a very popular color and i think it's great. but fresh? no. standard...yes. anyway. this evening we go back and paint the same walls we painted last night with the new "chamois" and boy, SHE WASN'T KIDDING WHEN SHE SAID THE COLORS WERE REALLY CLOSE. what a complete waste of TIME and MONEY and since TIME is MONEY? THEN IT'S REALLY JUST A WASTE OF MONEY. so we're even farther behind now. which is maddening in and of itself, but see, that's not what's really making me mad, the whole "do over" thing isn't really the sick part, the enraging part, (i'm getting paid by the hour, so i'll still get paid for painting the "wrong" color.). the ever so punch-to-the-gut thing? the thing that makes this WHOLE thing extra stupid, redundant and wasteful? they are in the middle of building a house and this house that we are painting? IS A TEMPORARY RESIDENCE FOR THEM AND THEY'LL ONLY BE THERE 6 MONTHS TOPS. HELLO?! DID YOU HEAR ME?! AND SHE CAN'T LIVE WITH AN EVER. SO. SLIGHTLY. DARKER SHADE OF BEIGE FOR 6 MONTHS?! THERE IS SO LITTLE DIFFERENCE IN THE TWO SHADES THAT IF YOU PAINTED TWO WALLS OF THE SAME ROOM WITH EACH COLOR? NO ONE WOULD NOTICE. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING THE SIMILARNESS OF THESE TWO COLORS. money makes you stupid. 10.03.05 my brother bought me a drum for my birthday. it's a djembe but it's not hippy. it's glossy and needs stickers all over it. so ladt night my dad and i are "jamming" in the loosest sense possible. he only knows the 12 bar blues and i have no idea how to play a drum. it sounded great. no, it didn't. but we had fun anyway.
he asks me, "what's the name of our band?" this
evening mom says, "you guys played your music for
along time last night." mom is our number one fan. 10.02.05 did i really say i would try not to swear on the blog this month? you know i was joking, right? mr. fleegan and i had a
great time in Tennessee. on the way up we were 11 years
old. mr. fleegan:... me: HA! ha ha! get it? mr. fleegan: floppy crotch. me: OH! yes that's much better. together: *singing* floppy croooootch you'll always be.... home sweet ho-ome to meee! me: gooooood ol' floppy crotch! mr. fleegan: floppy crotch Tennessee! when we told justin and cindy about it they were basically like, "ha ha. you're idiots." *** my brother is doing pretty good. he was able to get out of the house and go to a few places. it was awesome. AND! he has quit smoking. he is THE MAN. i am so proud of him. he is amazing. while i was out of town
my dad came to my house and put casters on my bass amp.
can you believe that? how long have i been saying,
"curse word. i've GOT to put some wheels on this
thing."? only since i got it 5 years ago. the reefer log has been really boring lately. see? reefer log: |
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