Chairman Meow: Week Two

he’s found the couch.

i’ve been busy lately, and i’m sorry. and it’s not looking good for me reading 50 books this year either. damn. i blame Lebowski and Bejeweled Blitz, mostly.

Lebowski is playing more so i guess he feels better. his bowels are still just awful and he’s still farting some kind of toxic waste farts. he goes to the vet next monday for another round of shots and such. but like io say, he’s playing a lot and also he’s getting bigger.

nautilus kitty

everyone has been asking me how Roxie is handling the cat. for the first week we let them see each other for a little bit, but because Lebowski had worms and tons of fleas, we wouldn’t let them around each other. after 10 days of Frontline and worm meds we’re not as nervous.

she looks like she’s smiling. she’s not. it’s more like a wince. the cat is in front of her and she’s all, “what cat? hey, can i go outside now?”

she tries to ignore the cat. the cat, on the other hand, wants to play. but then, since Roxie is so big and awkward when she moves, the cat gets nervous thinking that Roxie is either going to attack or Godzilla right over him. but so far there’s been no hissing or punching or slashing. usually Roxie will lay down and the cat will play around her (like, with a ball), but when the cat bumps into her or touches her in any way, Roxie jumps up like she’s been set of fire.

ohmygodwhatsitdoinggetmeoutofhere.

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Tags: Lebowski, roxy

39. The Darkest Room by Johan Theorin

Category: 50 Books

39. The Darkest Room by Johan Theorin

More great Swedish crime fic. This is Mr. Theorin’s second novel. His first one Echoes of the Dead was great and this one was even better. I did have one problem with part of the ending, but since the rest of the book was so good and creepy I’ll forgive it.

It had everything I enjoy reading: suspense, a bit of the supernatural, and metafiction. The book within the book was my favorite part to read.

The author did a great job with the creepy, supernatural parts. You’d think with as much as he talked about ghosts and goblins and haunted barns and peat bogs that it would have been more of a ghost story than a crime novel, but he manages to keep the ghosty bits subtle and questionable. And that makes it even more creepy.

The author also does a great job of writing about so many characters, they all have their own story and then he manages to bring them all together. Not once did i get confused with all the characters. Which says a lot. Also! I was so glad that Gerlof was in this one too! He didn’t have as big of a part in this one as the last one, but still had an important part. Great stuff.

This book, like the last book I read, Ice Land by Betsy Tobin, used the landscape a great deal, alomst like another character. In Ice Land it was the volcano, in this one it was the whole of Eel Point as well as the annual blizzard. Just great stuff all around. Very moody and creepy and awesome.

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Tags: Betsy Tobin, books, Johan Theorin, Scandinavian crime fiction

say what?!

Category: dribblings

may i nerd-out for a moment?

guy comes in to the ‘brary. he’s a semi-regular patron. he’s crazy. pretty much he’s lost his mind, i don’t know how. and most often? drunk. drunky-drunk with the breath of booze.

he’s never rude or anything, just kinda talky. mostly he talks to himself. loudly.

we don’t have a nickname for him. yet. i’m sure we could come up with something.

ANYway. my story is this:

he finally picks out 4 books to check out and three of them are Lincoln bios. normally, i’d make him put one back but we have tons of Lincoln books and also the less i have to say to him the shorter his stay in the ‘brary will be. he starts talking to me about the bios and says, “i’m going to read up on Lincoln again.”

“good choice,” i say, for i, too, am a fan. and really, if someone checks out a book on Lincoln i’ll admit it, i’m always pleased. i don’t know why.

“well, i’m gettig this one by Sandburg, but i also wanted to get this one by this other guy because well, let’s face it, Sandburg is a hack.”

*insert record scratch noise here*

“…um…”

“yeah, and this other guy, it says here he’s won a Pulitzer prize.”

“…”

“so i’m definitely gonna read that one.”

don’t speak, jaimie. don’t say a word. let the man go. there’s no need to-

“did you just say Carl Sandberg was a… a hack?”

“what?”

“Carl Sandburg? the poet? THE FOREMOST LINCOLN BIOGRAPHER? THE ONE WHO, I’M NEARLY CERTAIN, WON ONE OF HIS THREE PULITZER PRIZES FOR HIS FOUR VOLUME LINCOLN BIOGRAPHY?! THAT CARL SANDBURG? this is the man you are calling A HACK?”

of course i didn’t say that to his face. it’s just what i thought in my head. rule of thumb when dealing with crazy drunks: do not engage. EVEN WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO BECAUSE WHO THE HELL GETS AWAY WITH CALLING SANDBURG A HACK?!

am i right?

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Tags: Abraham Lincoln, library, rant

Chairman Meow: Week One

Category: dribblings

it has been a LONG week of cleaning up lots of horrible cat poops. however, after spending over $300 on the little bastard Lebowski things are looking up. he’s finished with the worm medication, so his poops should be getting better.

he is very particular about the litter box. if he’s already used the box and there’s still pee or poop in it he will not use it again. instead he will shite next to the box or, even more exciting, he’ll do his business in the shower. on the one hand, i can’t help but think that i, too, do not like to do my business if there’s already business in the toilet. so hey, he likes a clean shite box. how nice.

on the other hand, he’s a cat. and i have many other jobs to do during the day that keep me from having the time to police the damn cat box 24/7. so on friday night i was at my wits end and nearly in tears after cleaning up another batch of runny cat nastiness. i begged mr. fleegan to either order an electric cat box online or drive over to Petco to get one.

this electric cat box is probably the best thing that ever happened to cats. the only thing that pisses me off about it is that it insists that you CAN ONLY use the crystals litter. it says not to use the clay litter. but i think that they are lying to me. they just want me to buy the really expensive junk. (and let me tell you, the crystals litter? is some high-dollar shit. i was not aware of this. it looks like aquarium pebbles.)

this is what he does all day. usually he does it with his eyes closed.

“This unchecked aggression will not stand, man!”

Mr. Fleegan is holding Lebowski so’s to show off his new jolly roger collar. i catch Mr. Fleegan holding the kitteh all the time. sometimes he even calls the cat Mr. Purrsons (persons) only he says it in this weird effeminate lisp. “oh! it-th mith-ter purrthonth!”

yesterday i worked at the ‘brary, and when i came back from my lunch break there was a helicopter parked in the back of the library. i don’t know why. i guess it was some kind of practice thing? with the firemen and paramedics? i don’t know. or maybe the pilot was just showing off. “i can land this thing anywhere!”

it seemed really small.

it was the only time i could say, “Our library has more helicopters than your library.”

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Tags: Lebowski, library, mr. fleegan

Meet the new Chairman Meow.

Category: dribblings

we have a new Chairman at our house. and he’s a cutie.

it was one of those things. i wasn’t looking for a cat. mr. fleegan CERTAINLY wasn’t looking for a cat. but sometimes a cat finds you. or sometimes, you hear about a cat from your dad, who said it was the coolest cat ever (and coming from your dad, it must be) so you traipse all over RBC to find The Lady With the Cat so you can save the cool cat from it’s almost certain, evil drop-off in the Talladega National Forest.

you do this because you’re a sucker. a sap. a bleeding heart liberal with a heart of warmish steel.

he is about 4 months old, according to the guess the vet made.

and he’s polydactyl.

we’ve thought up about 100 names for him. but none of them were perfect until last night just as we were dozing off jimmy said, “Lebowski.”
and there you have it.

at the vet this morning (for i waste no time in such things. new cat? great. i’ll take it to the vet in the morning.) the vet tech came in and explained that they needed to do a feline lukemia and AIDS test.

“oh. right. okay. i didn’t think about that.”

“it’s best to go ahead and test.”

“sure.”

“i’ll warn you though, there’s no cure for either one.”

“right. okay.”

“if he’s positive for either, there are some medicines to boost them up a bit.”

“um…”

“but still, no cure.”

“well, if he tests positive… um, can’t we just… well, put him down?”

“….”

it’s here that the vet tech was probably thinking i was a total, cold-hearted bitch. which, i am, but also, minimum wage does not provide for medicines for dying cats. it does however, provide for a quick and noble euthanasia.

“we can put him down, right? if he’s sick? you do that here?”

“well, that’s… your choice.”

“okay, well let’s see what the verdict is, yeah?”

a bit later the vet comes in and, good news: no lethal cat diseases. then he says, “but he might have worms.”

“i have no doubt about that.”

“really?”

“if the foulness in the litterbox is anything to go by, then yes, there are worms.”

so Lebowski has some worm medicine he has to take every day for a week. and we go back to the vet in 4 weeks and then after that, the poor fella has to get fixed. sorry, dude, those are the rules. i’ll feed you all day long, give you lots of water, a box to shite in, a comfy place to lay (other than countertops and the table, you can have the run of the house), but you gotta get neutered.

he’s being very dude.

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Tags: Lebowski

38. Ice Land by Betsy Tobin

Category: 50 Books

38. Ice Land by Betsy Tobin

This is the best fiction book I’ve read all year. I loved the Freya character, as well as Fulla and all the rest. Usually I’m not good at reading fantasy fiction, there’s always too many characters and too many things to remember, but this book was written very well, and the author totally sucks you in. You care about the characters and what’s happening to them. you even care about the landscape in this book. It’s amazing how Ms. Tobin uses the landscape in this book. It becomes a character too. Wonderful!

If I try to describe this book I’ll just screw it up. It takes place in Iceland in 1000AD. Some of the characters are human, dwarves, the Aesir (Norse gods), and giants. There are several story lines but they all connect together. Here’s the description from the back of the book:

Iceland, AD 1000
Freya knows that her people are doomed. Warned by the Fates of an impending disaster, she must embark on a journey to find a magnificent gold necklace, one said to possess the power to alter the course of history. But even as Freya travels deep into the mountains of Iceland, the country is on the brink of war. The new world order of Christianity is threatening the old ways of Iceland-s people, and tangled amidst it all are two star-crossed lovers who destiny draws them together-even as their families are determined to tear them apart

Infused with the rich history and mythology of Iceland, Betsy Tobin-s sweeping novel is an epic adventure of forbidden love, lust, jealousy, faith and magical wonder set under the shadow of a smoldering volcano.

I know, even that makes it sound lame. There’s no way to describe how awesome this book is.

While reading it I kept thinking of Nicola Griffith’s Aud character. I’m not sure why though, because Aud is very kickass and take-charge while Freya is not as kickass and not as self-assured. But somehow there seemed to be some similarities. Perhaps it was the voice of the character.

Anyway, great book.

37. Andy Warhol by Arthur C. Danto

Category: 50 Books

37. Andy Warhol by Arthur C. Danto

I think Danto’s main gig is as a philosopher and an art critic. So this book wasn’t really a biography on Andy Warhol but more of a philosophy of Warhol’s art. Which is good, but I thought he had already written a book like that before? Maybe I’m thinking of something else.

I enjoyed this book. I’m not a huge fan of Warhol, but I do respect his work. And it was nice just to sit and read a well-written book on art. It was a little too-something though. I think maybe it takes Warhol’s work a little too seriously. I’m not saying his work wasn’t serious or important, mind, but this book takes it a step too far. I think it’s when the author brings up the Holy Grail that I thought that maybe he likes Warhol and his work a little too much to be objective in his critiques.

I am still confused about Andy Warhol being a painter, when most of his stuff (that he’s famous for) seems to be screen print. Isn’t he more of a printer? and wouldn’t that make more sense with his Factory? with wanting to be a machine? I’d like that explained some time, why his screen prints are called paintings and not prints. or monoprints, if it’s that he’s printing and then going back and putting some paint on top.

It was a good, quick read.

leave your lists on the library floor

Category: Uncategorized

so far this morning i’ve found two scraps of paper.

one of them had a Bible verse handwritten by a small child (i hope) the writing was really big and terrible. it was Romans 8:28-30. it’s a good word, yo.

the other one was a very small blue post-it that has listed on it:

bladder dropped
tags on neck
recurring bacterial infections
blood work?

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36. Prairie Tale by Melissa Gilbert

Category: 50 Books

36. Prairie Tale by Melissa Gilbert

Yes, that Melissa Gilbert.

Honestly, I was wanting more dish. But maybe there really wasn’t more dish to tell. It was on the boring side, but just when I would get ready to quit reading it for good something would happen and I’d have to read a bit more. The whole thing was like that.

First I was hoping there would be some awesome Little House stories. Not that many. Then I thought that when she’d get to the SAG presidency (finally) there would be some dirt there. But she bores us through that too. Maybe not bore, but she glosses over it.

She does have a sense of humor though (and is able to even poke fun at herself. That’s always a plus, yeah?), and I must say that she seems very down to earth. Also, at the end she has a list of titles for her book that she asked her friends to make up (sounds like something Fleegans would do.) and that list was great!

I did like the book, but I didn’t really enjoy reading it, if that makes sense.