2.12.08

Category: dribblings

somehow i’ve been found out!
the names have been changed to protect… my job.
hee.

i get to work today and my boss is all, “i didn’t know you knew Very Nice Lady from the Mayor’s Office.”

and i say, “who?”

“Very Nice Lady. she said you told her a hilarious story.”

“me?”

“YES.”

“okay, now who are we talking about here?”

“Very Nice Lady! in the Mayor’s Office!”

“oh. well, yeah. i know her. sorta. mom, i think, knows her. mom knows everybody.”

“well, did you tell her a funny work story?”

“no. i haven’t seen Very Nice Lady in months. since the last time she checked out a book while i was working.”

my boss is puzzled. and so am i. then she says, “so you didn’t tell her a funny story about a patron telling you she was going to cheat on a test or something?”

oh. my. god.

ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

“oh. uh. yeah. the cheater…” i know all the blood drained from my head. i couldn’t think straight. all i could think was ‘how was i found out? oh man, i’m dead. or worse… dooced. the mayor’s office? oh god, have i slandered anyone lately? damn, and i really love this job, too.’ and my boss is all, “so you DID tell her a story?”

“i… well, i… wrote a story. about the cheater… and um, Very Nice Lady told you about it?”

“she told me that what you said was hilarious. how come i didn’t know about this funny story?”

“oh. it happened after you left one day.”

“well?”

“well, what had happened was… this patron came in and told me she was going to cheat and so i was shocked because, she um, was going to cheat and then when she checked out her books i called her a cheater and then she left.”

“that’s the story?”

“er, yeah well, the long version is hilarious. gosh it sure looks busy out there, huh? i better get back to the circulation desk and earn my wage!”

*************************************

Dear Very Nice Lady,

Gosh, you look nice today. Is that a new blouse? Well, it looks great on you.
Wow and your office is always so nice a cozy. You sure do work hard. I hope the Mayor appreciates all of your hard work. Well, have a great day, okay?

Sincerely,
Jaimie

PS. *GASP* PLEASE DON’T RAT ME OUT.

**************************************

IN OTHER NEWS: the insurance company (of the dude who crashed into my property) denied the claim. they said it wasn’t his fault. oh, and like it was my fault that my property was damaged when HE crashed HIS car into it? so i won’t get any money to repair the damage. i could take it to court, i guess. but who has time and money for that?
i hate insurance people. the evil insurance company is Safeway, by the way. in case you ever want to NOT get insurance from evil, unhelpful, robbing liars. apparently, i’m not the only person they’ve screwed over. it makes me want to vomit. in a manilla envelope. and mail it to them.
weekly.

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