this post is rated ‘R’ for hilarious use of curse words.

 

this picture was taken with my back turned. i leaned back while i was sitting on the deck, camera behind my shoulder, pointed in the vacinity of KD and snapped the picture. how funny is that?

 

so my jeep is bleeding antifreeze. every day i have to hose down the driveway so the cats don’t drink it up. and don’t think i haven’t been tempted.

i found where the leak is. there’s two leaks. yes, two separate fucking leaks. of course. one leak, the radiator hose, has gotten much worse since last week. now, when i add the coolant? it just runs right out. looks like the jeep is peeing because it’s a yellow/green color. ain’t that a bitch?


i think that’s the radiator hose? this is taken from underneath the jeep.


so yeah, two leaks. one that streams out of the hose (and i don’t know if you’ve ever seen a cow take a piss? but it’s not unlike that.) and the other that drips like my bathroom fucking faucet.

the good news: i called Chris and got a recipe for a kick ass white russian:
2 parts vodka, 1 part kahlua, 2 parts irish cream.

the bas news: drinking these white russians doesn’t seem to be fixing these leaks.

Dear Liquor,

Get up off that lazy ass and start doing something around here.

No Love,

Jaimie

and speaking of delicious liquor, wouldn’t it be awesome if the liquor store HAD COUPONS? i mean, can a fleegan get a BOGO for some whiskey over here?
MOFO BOGO for the HOHO.

what was i talking about?

oh! yeah!

and then THIS happened. i get in the leaky-ass jeep to go to work and this is right in my sight.

yeah, it’s a wasp. and it has decapitated a caterpillar and is EATING IT ALL OVER MY WINDSHIELD. THE WINDSHEILD I HAD REPLACED LAST JULY. FUCK A BUNCH OF JULY.

this is a bad omen, am i right? i mean, it’s bad luck to see something like this, let alone when it’s on your windshield right where your face is. in some native american cultures? seeing something like this first thing in the morning is grounds for like, i don’t know, smoking indian drugs or something.

i thought wasps ate leaves or flowers or some shit. i didn’t realize they were MURDERERS.

so to reiterate:
two leaks
white russians
liquor store BOGO MOJO
death wasp
fuck a bunch of july

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