3.26.08

Category: dribblings

sorry for the delay of game over here. there’s been some computer maintenance. new hard drive (465 giggly bytes). i had an 80 gig for a while and thought, “oh, i’ll never use all that space. la la la.” well, it turns out? i can fill one of those in less than two years. weird. apparently? i have a lot of music on here. huh, music lover, who knew?

still, it’s not all “good to go” yet because mr. fleegan just threw it in there and didn’t actually swap things over so really, i’ve got two hard drives in here with the same junk on both, and now if i want to do anything i have to make sure i’m using the right hard drive so when he finally gets around to deleting the other hard drive i don’t lose anything. i can already tell that something’s going to go wrong. for instance, iTunes has already pitched a huge fit… and i’m still not able to open it. i’m all, “fine, iTunes, be a big baby. but by god, you’re going to play me a song before the day’s over.”

but you’re not here to listen to me bitch and moan about computer shenanigans. nay, i know what you’re here for: ‘brary stories!

This ‘brary story is brought to you by the number 4.

so this guy comes up to the desk with a book on rocks and minerals. he starts in about his rock collection, telling us all about his rocks and how many he has. we smile politely and listen as he drones on about rocks. he says that he’s trying to look up a certain rock that he has but he can’t find anything similar to it in the books.

by this time, everyone else has found some way to look busy, so i’m the only one who’s left politely nodding and wondering how old this man is who collects rocks. he was older than me but younger than 45 i’d say. and he wasn’t some kind of geo- archaeo- ligist either. he was just this guy. with a rock hobby. so he starts describing his mystery rock to me. and i have no clue, right? because to me a rock is either really pretty or it’s in my way and must be moved. so i say, “i’m sorry, but i’m not much help when it comes to rocks and gems.” so he says, “well, there’s some of the same rock over there in your butterfly case.”

we’ve got a display of butterflies. they’re perched on rocks and sticks in this terrarium situation. i forget we even have it cos it’s in the kid’s section. and also, i’ve never been sure if the butterflies that are in it are even real. and of course, nothing is labled.

so, i walk over to the display with him to check out “his” rock. he says, “it looks just like that.” pointing at a chunk of what even i, with my meager knowledge of 5th grade earth science, know to be pyrite.

“that’s fool’s gold.”

“no it ain’t.”

mental sigh “i’m pretty sure-“

“no, fool’s gold looks more like a nugget. that has crystals on it.”

“well, some does look like a… nugget. and some have well defined crystals-“

“no, it don’t do that. not fool’s gold.”

“well, look up pyrite in that book and let’s see what kind of picture it has.”

“i did but they have the wrong picture.”

seriously?

i watch as he flips the book and i see the pyrite page and the picture looks JUST LIKE the junk in the display case. because THAT’S WHAT FOOL’S GOLD LOOKS LIKE. and knowing that i will not be able to help the guy anymore i tell him good luck with his rock collection and i go back to the desk.

i get back and my co-worker asks, “how did that go?”

“weirdly.”

“why?”

“the rock he was so confused about?”

“yeah?”

“fool’s gold.”

“no way.”

“way.”

“what?”

“i know. he’s in denial for some reason. even the picture of pyrite in the book looked like what’s in the case.”

“what did he say to that?”

“he says the book is wrong.”

“oh, well there you go.”

“why do i even try?”

*****

do you have room for one more ‘brary story?
you know you do.

this lady calls to renew what’s been checked out on her card. she says she’s got three kid’s videos. i look up her card and all that’s on it is two books. no videos. crap. now we have to solve a mystery.

“what? but i have 3 videos here.”

“well, they’re not on your card. are there any other cards in your family?”

“no, just mine.”

“are you sure the videos are ours?”

“yes!”

“and you don’t have any other cards? none of the kids have one? husband? grandma?”

“no! and i don’t want to be charged a late fee for these videos either.”

“… are they already late?”

“no, they’re due today.”

“then they won’t be late. can you tell me what one of the videos is so i can look it up?”

“last time we had to pay fines. i don’t want no fines this time.”

“right. can you tell me. what videos. you have?”

she tells me and i look them up that way. i say, “they’re checked out but not on your card.” i can’t tell her who has them because we’re not supposed to give out patron’s names to other patrons. but then i notice that the patron with the videos? has the same address she does. i say, “they’re checked out to john doe.”

“oh. that’s my husband.”

really? so when i asked you if there were any other cards in the family you said no because?

best part? her husband was the rock guy. I KNOW! talk about small town.

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