cleaning off the camera pt. I: King Choco-Nut

Category: dribblings

i keep taking pictures of things and then i totally forget to share my adventures with you.

so here’s an adventure i had way back in August. one day dad and i went to the international food store right down the road from us. they had loads of things most of which we had no idea what they were. the only thing that was recognizable was the candy. not recognizable as in, “oh hey! it’s my favorite candy!” but recognizable in, “this is probably candy.”

i picked out the most harmless looking one (the one i could read the ingredients clearly) and bought it and took it home and here it is:

mostly harmless?

mostly harmless?

King Choc-Nut! this looked anf felt like a big bar of chocolate. the ingredients were in english and said it was chocolate, peanut butter, and sugar. i love all three of these things. the package also said it was a product of the Philippines. at the moment i can’t think of anything good that’s ever come out of the Philippines. at the same time, i can’t think of anything bad that’s come from the Philippines either. as a stupid, spoiled, fat american i’m going to confess right here that i never think about the Philippines. it just never comes up.

so anyway, i opened the package and…

God, help us.

God, help us.

srsly? it’s individually wrapped pieces of chocolate? i was not prepared for this. well, it IS kind of cute

well, it IS kind of cute. i don’t know why, but the packaging reminded me of old cigarette packaging. maybe it’s the gold and the pinstripes and the pimp crown? okay, enough analyzing the design lets eat some King Choc-Nut!

never underestimate the power of artificial coloring

never underestimate the power of artificial coloring

it was very pale and crumbly. when you put it in your mouth it didn’t melt exactly. it dissolved into a gritty paste. the taste? i couldn’t taste any chocolate. nor could i taste any peanut butter.  it was the sweetest sugary sweet nonflavored sweetness i’ve ever encountered. in a word: horrible.
it was somehow sweeter than pixie stix.
sorry Philippines, but King Choco-Nut is not fit to eat.

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