Chairman Meow: Week One

Category: dribblings

it has been a LONG week of cleaning up lots of horrible cat poops. however, after spending over $300 on the little bastard Lebowski things are looking up. he’s finished with the worm medication, so his poops should be getting better.

he is very particular about the litter box. if he’s already used the box and there’s still pee or poop in it he will not use it again. instead he will shite next to the box or, even more exciting, he’ll do his business in the shower. on the one hand, i can’t help but think that i, too, do not like to do my business if there’s already business in the toilet. so hey, he likes a clean shite box. how nice.

on the other hand, he’s a cat. and i have many other jobs to do during the day that keep me from having the time to police the damn cat box 24/7. so on friday night i was at my wits end and nearly in tears after cleaning up another batch of runny cat nastiness. i begged mr. fleegan to either order an electric cat box online or drive over to Petco to get one.

this electric cat box is probably the best thing that ever happened to cats. the only thing that pisses me off about it is that it insists that you CAN ONLY use the crystals litter. it says not to use the clay litter. but i think that they are lying to me. they just want me to buy the really expensive junk. (and let me tell you, the crystals litter? is some high-dollar shit. i was not aware of this. it looks like aquarium pebbles.)

this is what he does all day. usually he does it with his eyes closed.

“This unchecked aggression will not stand, man!”

Mr. Fleegan is holding Lebowski so’s to show off his new jolly roger collar. i catch Mr. Fleegan holding the kitteh all the time. sometimes he even calls the cat Mr. Purrsons (persons) only he says it in this weird effeminate lisp. “oh! it-th mith-ter purrthonth!”

yesterday i worked at the ‘brary, and when i came back from my lunch break there was a helicopter parked in the back of the library. i don’t know why. i guess it was some kind of practice thing? with the firemen and paramedics? i don’t know. or maybe the pilot was just showing off. “i can land this thing anywhere!”

it seemed really small.