5.05.08

Category: dribblings

happy Cinco de Mayo!

now, onto the funny business.

last night mr, fleegan and i were having one of those “who would you do?” conversations. so we’re going through ’70s and ’80s television shows. look, it happens. we’d run the gamut and we’re down to this: mr. fleegan asks, “who would you do from Taxi?”

“ew, no one. they’re all crazy or too jew-y.”

“jew-y?”

“i don’t like the jew hair.”

“what are you talking about?”

“the poofy man hair jew perm.”

“that has nothing to do with being jewish.”

“i’m not saying it does, what i’m saying is i don’t like it. it’s a turn off. if i HAVE to pick someone from Taxi it would HAVE to be Tony Danza. and honestly? i’m not that into him.”

“jew hair?”

“no, he’s got italian guy hair. it’s not his looks really, it’s more that he’s Tony Danza.”

“i’d do Marilu Henner.”

“well, yeah cos on Taxi she’s like, your only choice.”

“i’d pick her over all the Charlie’s Angels.”

“really?”

“big time.”

“i can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”

“i’m serious.”

“Marilu Henner. with the hair?”

“with the red hair.”

“is that it? the hair?”

“it’s a fact, reds have more sex than blondes.”

“really?”

“yes.”

“how do you know this?”

“…”

“okay, so Agent Scully or Marilu Henner.”

“no contest.”

“Scully?”

“no! Marilu Henner, baby.”

“what?! are you doing this on purpose?”

“no.”

“she’s old enough to be your mom.”

“i’m talking about when she was in her prime.”

“the hell’s that got to do with it? when she was in her prime she was STILL old enough to be your mom. you were what? 6?”

“and?”

“and you’d pick her over Scully?”

“hell yes, she’s in my top five.”

“Marilu Henner is in your top five?!”

“oh yeah. probably number 2.”

“even with her jew face?”

“now you’re being mean.”

“of course i am! who’s number 1?”

“scarlett johansen? probably. i don’t know though. Marilu Henner is so hot.”

“you know, NONE of our other friends would ever pick Marilu for their top…30, even.”

“good. that’s just more Marilu Henner for me.”

“i hate you.”

“…”

“okay, wait! ’70s and ’80s tv, right? i got it. i know who’d top Marilu Henner.”

“two Marilu Henners?”

“shut your Face Off starringnicholascaeandjohntravolta. Valerie Bertinelli.”

“hm, she’s cute, but i’d still do Marilu Henner.”

“oh come on!”

“i’m serious.”

“NO ONE picks Marilu over Valerie Bertinelli. no one. ever.”

“i do.”

“Marilu fucking Henner. Didn’t she hawk Ronco junk for awhile?”

“don’t care. i’d still do her.”

“okay, red heads. what about Tanya Roberts?”

“ooh, from the Beastmaster! she had really pretty eyes.”

“eyes? don’t even! like, you were looking at her eyes? please.”

“heh. no really. pretty eyes. still, she’s no Marilu Henner.”

“really?”

“really.”

“so who could top Marilu Henner?”

“me, hopefully.”

“you’re dead.”

personally, i don’t see it. i mean, she has black teeth.

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