There’s not a single part of this I’ve made up.

Category: dribblings

My dad, Popsicle, went to Georgia with a friend yesterday to help the friend clean out his father’s house. When dad got home he was very proud of all the “treasures” he was able to bring home. He told us about some hats and some trinket-y type stuff.

“But the best thing I scored was a suit of armor.”

Mom: What?

Me: You mean like-

Dad: A suit of armor.

Mom: WHAT?

Me: Are we talking full-size here?

Dad: Oh yeah.

Mom: WHAT?!

Dad: It’s going to be awesome!

A real suit of armor?

It’s not real, it’s like a decorative statue type thing.

YOU ARE NOT PUTTING A SUIT OF ARMOR IN MY HOUSE. THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

Yeah, it really doesn’t fit in here, dad.

Oh I know. It’s not going in the house.

GOOD.

Then wh-

I’m going to put outside by the pool.

WHAT?!

****

It’s not a real suit: you can’t wear it or anything. It is hecho en Mexico, and probably would not stand up to any jousting.

Here’s dad maintaining the armor with some high fancy chromalated sprayin’ paint.

He has some major plans for this thing.

For now it’s in the back yard and my mother hates it. I can’t stop laughing at it. But as I am related to my father I do understand why he brought it home because hey, FREE SUIT OF ARMOR.

Still, I see a senario coming up where dad comes home from work and mom has busted up the armor and dad’s all, “Get the glue!”

mom’s all, “Oh, we’re out of glue.”

and dad seethes, “YOU USED UP ALL THE GLUE ON PURPOSE!”