7.08.06

Category: dribblings

i went to the Noojin’s house last night for dinner. florrie had me over since mr. fleegan is out of town.  it’s so much fun over there i ended up staying there till around midnight. i know. i should’ve left sooner so they could go to sleep, but we just get to talking and tick-tock it’s midnight. so i had to go ‘cos i had to get up super early the next day.
hey Nooges, if you find a glass slipper in your driveway, it’s mine.

when i got home only Roxy was in the fence and Kaze was no where to be found. she was probably hiding under someone’s house from all the fire crackers that the NIÑOS ARE STILL LIGHTING EVERY AFTERNOON AND EVENING AND NIGHT. i figured in the morning i’d let Roxy in the house and leave the gate open and Kaze would wander back in for food and squirrels, this is how she got back in last time.

i woke up this morning at 4:30 to take Junebug to dialysis. Kaze was still MIA, but she always comes back at daylight for breakfast and at 4:30am it is most def NOT DAYLIGHT. so i figured when i got back later she’d be at the house barking at squirrels and wanting something to eat.

i got back at 5:30am and indeed Kaze was back. but she was laying down in the side yard. “oh, hell.” i said.
i got out and she put her head up and wagged her tail at me and also, did not get up and try to run away from me.
“oh, hell.” at that point i knew she had been hit by a car.

it wasn’t pretty. not that you’d expect it to be, but the last time she got hit by a car (5 years ago) there was no blood at all. she had broken her pelvis in half (which by the way, did you know that when a dog breaks it’s pelvis, it will heal itself in a few months and at first you think it’s impossible, and later you think your dog is going to walk like a hunchback for the rest of it’s life, and then, even later, you think holy hell, i thought that dog had broken it’s pelvis! look at it run! look at it climb over the damn ELECTRIFIED FENCE, AGAIN! DAMMIT!
it’s amazing, really.

this time though, there was blood.

anyway, to make an extremely long, surreal, and sad story short, Kaze was taken to a vet’s office and put down, as they say.

i had to call mr. fleegan on the first day of his vacation and tell him that his dog was dead.

Dear July, you cock-eating animal killer,

You win, okay? I take back all the things I said about you being stupid and unmonth-like and douchey, okay? You are badass! You are, quite literally, the Julius fucking Caesar of months, okay? You have nothing more to prove to me so I’d like it if you’d leave me the fuck alone, and you go back to fucking your mother or whatever you it is you do when you’re not plaguing me and killing dogs.

I look forward to seeing you in hell, shitbag.

Love,

Jaimie Pickle

***

in case you’re concerned, i’ll let you know that jimmy took the news quite well. better than i did, in fact. i cried like a baby all morning. i cried when i found her. i cried when i called my parents house. i cried on the way to get the jeep. i cried on the way back when dad drove. i cried when we put her in the jeep. i cried as we waited for the vet’s office to open. i cried in the jeep while dad waited in the vet’s office for our turn. because, i guess we didn’t have an appointment so we had to wait in line even though we were the first one’s there and HAD A BLEEDING, DYING DOG IN THE JEEP. fukkers.
i cried as the vet spoke. i cried as i wrote the check in the vet’s lobby. i cried when i called jimmy and told him we had to put her to sleep. hell, i’m crying now.
and i hated that dog. she was one of the most frustrating things in my life. i’ve got ulcers with her name on them.

when she was in the fence, she was fine…a little too barky in the mornings from 5:30-7, but still, she was normal. when she was out of the fence she was a psychodog who was afraid of everything including me and any treat (usually real meat) i’d brought along to tempt her to get back in the fence. she was 2! 2! 2 dogs in one. i’ll miss the sweet, normal dog. i’ll not miss the psychodog.

longest morning ever.
when i finally made it home i slept for 5 hours.

then i went to mom&dad’s for supper. mom was watching some kind of Eukanuba championship thing.
“a dog show, mom?”

“oh! i’m sorry! i’ll change the channel.”

“no, no. that’s okay. it’s cool.” i know how mom loves dog shows. i mean, she loves that shit. besides, those things are all pretentious and all about purebreds and not ever about bad dogs who jump fences and get hit by cars.

so we’re eating dinner and the announcer lady says, “this is a small breed of dog but very clever. it’s able to climb fences easily. in fact, it’s paws are like little hands and that makes them difficult to contain. certainly not a breed for everyone. they’re very excitable and if they do get out of a fence they are likely to get hit by a car.”

i look up at mom, “unbelievable.”

mom’s all, “I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE JUST SAID THAT! THEY NEVER SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!”

“i know.”

“i’m so sorry, jaimie.”

“that’s okay, mom. i mean, that is some crazy shit.”

“i can’t. believe. she said that.”

“oh come on, mom. you read my blog. you know this shit happens to me all the time.”

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