Public. Library.

Category: dribblings

There’s a lady’s been coming in to the ‘brary and she starts talking from the moment she steps through the door until she finally leaves. We call her Gabby. She tells us the same things over and over. Also? she loves to read trilogies. Also, also, she pronounces it tree-ology.

“Do you have the fourth book in this tree-ology?”

“I’m not, wait, fourth book?”

“Yes, I really like tree-ologies. This one has four books in it. Is it in?”

My co-worker, who is NOT HELPING comes up, “Yeah Jaimie, do we have the fourth book in that *slight pause* tree-ology?”

I give her a dirty look.

Back to Gabby I say, “I think the word you’re looking for is series.”

“No, I’m looking for the fourth book in this tree-ology.”

“It’s checked out.”

*****

This whole exchange was a full 10 minutes:

The other day we had a lady come in, she didn’t know the title, she knew the author’s last name started with the letter A, and that the book was nonfiction.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry that’s too broad a search. Do you know what the book is about?”

“Not really, but I’ve seen it here before.”

“Right.”

“If you could just take me to the A’s in nonfiction.”

“…”

“I know where the nonfiction section is, but I can’t find where the A’s start.”

“The nonfiction is in numerical order first. There’s not an A section.”

“But the author’s last name starts with A.”

“Right, and that would be useful if it were fiction, or perhaps a biography.”

*insert another futile attempt at explaining the Dewey Decimal System here*

She walks away disappointed. She comes back three minutes later with the book she was looking for.

“Oh my gosh, how did you find it?”

“I just went over to the section where I had seen it before and looked around till I found it.”

I murdered her with a shelf marker.

****

Yesterday a little girl peed on the carpet by the fish tank.

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