7.19.06

Category: dribblings

i did a really stupid, dumb, idiotic, dunderheaded, foolish, brainless, moronic thing this afternoon. i decided to weed the gravel in my yard.

i know.

but it was looking quite haggard, abandoned, scraggy, dilapidated, uncared for, horrendous. i figured it was time i should do something about it. also, Crazy Margaret was no where to be seen, and these days that’s a huge incentive right there.

so i grabbed a bucket (to put the ex-weeds in) and i thought, “hey, should i find some gloves for my awesome hands?” and then follwed up with, “nah, my hands are awesome. i paint all the time, my hands…they are tough as nails.”

i got about 1/4 of the gravel weeded when i notice my left hand was hurting. when i stopped to see why, it started hurting even more. and, as i washed the gash i had created by jerking up small, evil, devil plants from the barren, uncaring, no sun getting, gravel covered earth (how do weeds DO THAT?! i mean, shouldn’t we be gene splicing weeds with food plants so they can grow tomatoes on rocks or sand or ice or Mars?! come on, scientists! you can grow a human ear on the back of a rat…let’s see some end to world hunger here!) and let me just tell you, my threshold of pain is usually kind of amazing (think: gallstone pain for months and months) but this…this finger wound…holy cannoli. and having to wash it out? Lord, have mercy! i didn’t think it would ever stop hurting.
now it just throbs. a tickytock reminder that i’m an idiot.

I WAS GOING TO WEAR GLOVES. WHY DIDN’T I JUST WEAR GLOVES?

on my right hand index finger i only have a stupid, sore blister. laura said it was okay to poke it as long as i put a salve on it and a band-aid. popping the blister was hilarious as the blister juice squirted out like a DNA Old Faithful. so now i’ve got matching band-aids on both index fingers, like some kind of Michael Jackson hand accessory.

AND JUST WHAT WAS I THINKING WHEN I BOUGHT BATMAN BAND-AIDS, ANYWAY?!

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