I can’t believe I read this. I mean, I’m a sucker for a memoir sure, but even for me this seemed off.

Two things:

1. The first part of the book where she writes about how her manager/husband abused her for years? That part was okay. It wasn’t fun to read about or anything, but it was important and real and that makes for a good book.

2. The second part of the book where she talks about her brother Michael, and then claims that there was a conspiracy to murder him even though she hasn’t one tiny piece of evidence other than Michael once told her that he thought someone was going to try to kill him, well, that half of the book was ridiculous. She went on too long saying the same thing over and over, but never actually explained her conspiracy theory at all. Redundant, uninteresting, pointless.

One other thing:

1. Apparently she was on a reality tv show called Armed and Famous and I guess it’s like celebrity COPS. So she was on it and she was sworn in as an officer in some town in Indiana and her partner was a real police officer. So she films this tv show for 5 weeks, right? Now I’m not saying that’s not a tough gig, you don’t see me volunteering or anything, however, in the book she keeps saying things like, “As a police officer…” and then when she’s spouting off about this conspiracy theory of hers about MJ’s death she’s all, “Using my experience as a police officer…” or whatever, I mean, no. Lady, you’re not a police officer. You were on a show. For 5 weeks. Stop it.

This book was so ridiculous I had to break out the Cansecos again.

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