Big Squat Dookie

Category: dribblings

At the risk of sounding like an even more immature tool than usual, I’m going to share this with you:

Dad and I have been saying the word dookie to each other. We try to work it into a sentence, but the word itself is enough to crack me up EVERY TIME. I’m not proud of this. I know it makes me a simpleton or an eight year old. Doesn’t matter, I’m going to giggle every time I hear it.

It started something like this:

Popsicle: I said dookie yesterday.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

P: When was the last time you heard someone say dookie?

M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dookie.

P: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

M: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 And now it just repeats on one of us saying dookie and the other laughing like a lunatic. I know it sounds like I’m celebrating our ridiculousness here, but I’m not, I’m just being honest.

On the afternoons of my days off dad and I go to the park and walk. We often talk about Big Foot and how we’ve not seen him, but that he probably lives in the woods. We shortened Big Foot to ‘Squatch for a while, and now we call it Big Squat.

It gets worse.

We have now dubbed every ant hill, mulch heap, and dirt pile a Big Squat Dookie. If the ant hill is small, we call it a Li’l Squat Dookie.

I’m not proud of this, guys. But things have been bleak over here lately, and if this is the way I can get some laughs then I guess I’ll take it.  Maybe if enough people start saying dookie to me I can get all my dookie giggles out and dookie will lose it’s magical hold over me. But I doubt it, because I just said “dookie giggles” out loud and it cracked me up all over again.

Speaking of dookie, The First Ladies went to see Joyful Noise this weekend. Now, it’s not like I thought this was going to be some kind of life changing, deeply cerebral, thinkin’ movie. But also, it was a lot worse than it should’ve been. SPOILERS, but it’s not like spoilers could ruin this movie. The movie does that on its own.

10. It was too long. I mean, it’s a musical, okay? Why were there 4 plots?

9. Was it just me or did the previews make it look like Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton were in different choirs that would compete against each other?

8. Just how old was Randy?

7. Half of what came out of QL and DP’s mouths were these ridiculous southern-fried figures of speech that were too precious. I wanted to scream, “Stop it! We don’t talk like that, like that.”

6. There is no number six.

5. What was the deal with the pastor? Why was he all, “We can’t afford to compete.” when, obviously, it was possible. And what was the deal with the choir being so important to that town? They never made that clear. It’s not like winning that competition was going to bring industry to the town.

4. The kid with Asperger’s Syndrome showed/felt more emotions than anyone else in the movie. This might be my own ignorance on the subject though.

3. “Man in the Mirror” may have (but I’ll never swear to it) brought a tiny tear to my eye. But that was erased by the time they performed the final number. Also, the choir they compete against at the end, did that kid speak in tongues in the middle of the song?

2. The black kid with the guitar? So first he’s a jerk, then they get in a fist fight, and then at the last minute he’s a go for playing in the church choir? Dammit movie, I said we don’t need that many subplots.

1a. What the hell was Queen Latifah talking about how she’s so pretty she would put mirrors all over her walls except that she has kids and is a nurse and wife? Something was fucked up about that speech, right? I mean, that whole scene was too late in the movie, yeah? Why was the meltdown then? Shouldn’t it have been when Randy (he of the unknown age) kidnapped Olivia? Wouldn’t that had been a better time for the meltdown speech?

1b. This actually happened. I was sitting next to Shreddy Ford and smiling as the opening credits and song and scene was starting. My face burst out in a huge shock smile of bliss when I saw Kris Kristofferson LEADING the church choir. I said to Shreddy excitedly, “Oh my gosh! I didn’t know Kris Kristofferson was in this movie! How cool is… what the fuck, did he just die? What the shit kind of shit is THIS?” He was in the movie for 10 seconds.

 But as far as activities with The First Ladies go, watching this while eating popcorn was certainly easier than roller skating.

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