First Ladies Skate part IV

Category: dribblings

Last night was a skate night. Shreddy Ford and Snatchie Onassis chickened out because there were way more skaters there than usual, and the extra skaters? A local Boy Scout troop. LBJ, Barbwire Bush and I, Ladyjuggs Johnson, braved the crowd. And by crowd I mean 20 kids.

The kids were great, I mean, if you have to skate with kids it’s great to skate with a bunch of Boy Scouts because they have to be nice. It’s part of their schtick. Most of them stayed off the rink as they were more interested in eating pizza and playing the two shitty video games the rink still has working. It was fine.

All day long I tried to pump myself up by telling myself that skating was going to be great and that it wasn’t going to be scary. Maybe that worked because I wasn’t that scared. I mean sure, the first 10 minutes were horrible and I was wondering why on earth I was out there when I could be at home safe and sound catching up on Downton Abbey, but after that I got into a groove. A very old-person-trying-to-roller-skate groove, but a groove nonetheless.

Last time I was able to glide on each foot for two seconds. This time I wasn’t able to do that. So I was disappointed. It felt like I couldn’t lift my feet up at all for some reason. So I mostly rolled. Which, now that I think about it, I wasn’t so good at rolling the last couple of times. I would feel too wobbly to keep both of my feet down at the same time. Maybe that doesn’t sound like that should make sense but see, if you’re skating (moving feet side to side?) then you’re moving and your body is almost too busy to feel wobbly. Just rolling, I couldn’t go fast so i felt super out of control. This time I felt way more in control as i rolled, that is not to say that I didn’t feel like I was never going to fall, or that I didn’t constantly wave my arms around and go, “WHOA. Whoa. That was a close WHOA. WHY?! WHY AM I DOING THIS?!”

But yeah, rolling was easier and I wasn’t hunched over like the previous times either. I tried to stand up straighter.

All of that to say that this was the best I’ve ever skated and SHREDDY AND SNATCHIE WERE NOT THERE TO SEE IT.

Barb and LBJ were there so I do have witnesses. Also our middle school friend was there and he cheered me on as well. Then he talked LBJ into jumping the line. So LBJ jumped and fell. I missed this because I was too busy skating. But I heard it was awesome. But then LBJ got back up and continued to try to jump over the line in his skates, which he did, multiple times. Then he asked the kid how to skate backwards, which, we decided we’re not ready for, but the kid was so sweet and was so glad that LBJ was asking him how to do stuff that they became BFFs and I was ignored for the rest of the night. Typical.

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