So I don’t want to spoil anything for you so if you plan to ever watch Game of Thrones skip this post in case I spoil something. Or better yet, stop being a big baby and just deal with the internet already.

We are on episode 6 of the first season. There have been two moments in the show so far where the writers have done a GREAT job of telling you everything you need to know in one small, tiny scene. The first was when we meet the Dothraki Horde and the girl (I don’t know her name) with the really blonde hair asks the Helpful British Guy something like, “How do you say thank you in Dothraki?” And he responds with, “There is no word for thank you in Dothraki.”

That is ALL you need to know about how scary the horde is.

The second part was when Bitchy Wife kidnaps Know-it-all Dwarf and is taking him to her sister’s castle and he’s all, “When was the last time you saw your sister? She’s crazy as shit, you know.” And she’s all, “Whatever.” And then they get to the sister’s castle and she’s on her throne breastfeeding her 10-year-old son.

That is ALL you needed to see to know just how crazy the sister is.

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Things I’ve shouted at the screen while watching GoT:

“When he keeps threatening to unleash the dragon, is he talking about his penis?”

“Dude just got jousted in the throat! You don’t come back from that.”

“Dude just got stabbed in the eye! He did NOT see that coming.”

“Dragon’s egg! That shit is going to hatch!”

“She is putting all of her fear and hate into that dragon’s egg, and when it hatches a miserable, hate and fear dragon is coming out.”

“EVERYONE IS HORRIBLE.”

“Shit-smeller! The queen is a shit-smeller.”

 

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