True Confessions

Category: dribblings

I’m in my 30s. A legit grown-up. And I was just wondering, am I the only loser still using a checkbook? And also, am I a chump for getting the duplicate checks?

Hell naw, son! I’m playin’ finances old school, that’s all.

I’m so money, I’m like, yeah, let me pay extra for those duplicate checks that I never have to refer back to ever, cos I write that shit down in the register when I write my check anyway, cos I’m serious about my dough. Yeah, hell yeah, let me keep boxes of used duplicate checks in my Important File Cabinet of Holding for tens of years before I think about trashing them. Cos you never know when that shady city water board might come back on me all, “Our records show you missed a payment back in 1998.”
And I’ll be all, “Nah Trick, that check cleared. And here’s the proof.”
And they’d be all, “Ma’am, duplicate checks aren’t proof of anything. Also, I can’t belive you saved that for 15 years. Are you a hoarder?”
And then I’d just run.