Am I on TV?

Category: dribblings

So I’m at home, minding my own, when the doorbell rings. I answer the door and it’s the neighbor lady from up the street. I’m not going to call her old, but she is a grandma. She’s not elderly or anything. I don’t know her that well, but I know her name and that she’s nice. She says to me she says, “Hey Jaimie, I know we don’t really know each other, but you seem like a really fun person.”

“Oh, well thank you. Come on in, it’s too hot outside to stand on the porch.”

“Okay, well, see the thing is, tonight is our Bunco night. And we need a sub. And I was hoping you’d be willing to come with me and play Bunco so we can have enough players.”

“Um.”

“I was going to ask you yesterday, but we didn’t need an extra player so I didn’t mention it, but now we need one. Will you do it?”

“Um.”

“We’re a really good group of old ladies, we’re fun! Honest!”

*sigh* “Is that some kind of cards?”

“No, it’s a dice game. It’s really easy. Please? I know you’ll fit in, plus we’ll feed you!”

“I…I…”

“Please? I’ll be back to pick you up at 5 till 6, okay?”

“That’s in forty minutes.”

“I know! I promise you’ll have fun.”

“Welp, okay den.”

WHAT JUST HAPPENED? AM I ON TV? IS THIS A JOKE? WHY DID I SAY YES? WHAT IS GOING ON?

(I asked if they drank booze at the dice game but she said no. Dang, cos I’m WAY more fun and outgoing if I’m drinking. So I did the right thing: pre-gamed with two whiskeys.)

So I tell Mr. Fleegan, “Hey, so, the neighbor lady up the street wants me to go shoot dice with her and her pals.”

“What?”

“So, anyway, I guess it’s over in Country Club somewhere.”

“Really?”

“You’re on your own for dinner.”

*******

Obviously I texted all my pals: I’M GAMBLING DICE WITH STRANGE OLD WOMEN ON A TUESDAY NIGHT.

They were all, “Since you act like an old lady you’ll fit right in.” and “Bunco isn’t gambling, you twit.” and the like.
I lost the most games, they called me the Loser Librarian. But I still got a prize! It’s a cool bowl that is painted like a watermelon.

 

 

 

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