12.06.05

Category: dribblings

got my jeep fixed. $170. holy cannoli. so now it’s got a brand new starter. so there’s that.

went to the dentist. no cavaties! and? i got to use my insurance card! score!

kaze was out again today. i finally got her back in the fence around 2pm. and when i did, i managed to get my middle finger completely torqued in her collar. the dog was screaming as if i’d set her on fire. i was screaming as though someone had ripped my finger off. i’m sure it looked hilarious. when it happened i didn’t want to look down. i just knew i’d see my finger dangling from my hand.

luckily it isn’t broken. it’s just…in pain. the kind of pain that made me cry.

it’s okay as long as i don’t move it or bump it against something. it’s also painful to grip anything. even if i don’t “use” that finger when i grip something or use my ring finger it sends an awesome PAIN SIGNAL to my bird fingah. the secret is to keep it elevated. if i put my arm down by my side i get some amazing throbbing pain.
the pain means it’s working. but what is “it”?

things that are difficult to nigh impossible to do when your middle finger on your dominant hand is facked:

1. start the car.

2. put the car in gear.

3. drive. unless you just go straight. if there’s no turns it’s a piece of cake.

4. sign your name.

5. unlock a padlock.

6. there is no number 6.

7. take your pants off.

8. wipe your ass.

9. open a beer.

10. update your blog.

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