If you do not know me in real life you may not know that I am often, oh, what’s the word for it?
An asshole.
Yes, that’s it!

My favorite thing to do right now, when I talk to sweet Aubergine, is to ask her what the French word for French words are. I’m a monster at it.

“Oh, our friend makes the best crème brûlée! Wait, what’s the French word for crème brûlée?”

“It’s the same.”


“Aubergine, I just want you to be safe, the college boys will be very charming. Don’t be naïve, ok? Wait, what’s the French word for naïve?”

“It’s the same.”

I smirk.

She rolls her eyes.

I do this a lot. To the point now that when I start to ask, “Aubergine, what is the French word-” she immediately rolls her eyes. I don’t blame her. Mr. Fleegan has begged me to stop, “She’s gonna hit you next time.”
“She will not. Though, I’d deserve it for sure. I asked her the French word for camouflage.”

“You didn’t.”

“I don’t think I’m capable of stopping.”

“You are the worst.”

“I’m a monster. Wait-”


“Aubergine, what’s the French-”


Fist pump, “I knew it!”


So the other day I was talking to Aubergine and complimenting her on how she dresses. She’s very cool. She is fashionable. I wanted to tell her that I bet she’s the trendiest one at school. So I asked her how she would say fashionable or trendy. And she replied that in French they would say “à la mode.”

I laughed so hard. Because I thought she was getting me back for all of my previous “What’s the French word for this French word?” shenanigans I keep pulling.

“Good one, Aubergine! Good one! hahahaa!”

“What is funny?”

“Your joke? It was hilarious.”

“I did not make a joke.”

À la mode?”


“It wasn’t a- wait, you’re serious?”


À la mode is French for trendy?”


“Are you serious?”

“Yes. Of course. What does it mean in English?”

“I thought it was French for “with ice cream.””

“With ice cream?”

“Yes. Like, you have cake or pie, but if you order it “à la mode” then you get it with ice cream. Avec glace?”

“No. It means fashionable.”

“Welp. Look at us. Learning new things.”

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