10.24.05

Category: dribblings

i wanted to write about my AWESOME birthday because quite honestly, BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. and here’s a weird thing. this girl had a birthday (same day as mine) and also received a vehicle. mine, however, was not a Karmann Ghia, thank the sweet, sweet Lord and my parents, but was in fact a BLACK JEEP OF STEALTH AWESOMENESS.

i’ve never heard of anyone getting a car for her 28th birthday before, but i guess it happens somewhere in the world, probably every day, and aren’t i glad it happened to me? yes. yes, i am. it was a gigantic shock.

Best asked me, “if someone told you 6 months ago that you’d buy a house and own two cars would you have believed it?”

the answer of course is a resounding NO WAY, JOSE.

and see, i want to write all about the jeeps, the red one, the black one, the insurance fun i had this morning the license tag fun i had this afternoon, but i can’t bring myself to do it. because this afternoon i came home and the basement door was not padlocked and was in fact opened and i thought, “what the-?” and then i thought, “i wonder if the dogs went in there?” and then i thought, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo! nononononononononoooooo!”

because the eternal box of rat poison i leave in the basement was gone.

and i found it minutes later. in the yard. shredded to bits. and ALL the tasty green pellets of poison were gone. then i checked their water bucket and ALL of the water was gone. NOT a good sign.

the dogs seemed fine and were just as happy and rowdy as ever, but i called jimmy and told him and so we took the two mongrels to the vet and they are probably puking as we speak. they’ll be staying the night at the vets and I KNOW, I’M THE WORST MOM EVER. SHUT UP. LIKE YOU’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE? HM? OH THAT’S RIGHT, YOU’RE PERFECT.

i felt like a criminal bringing the two dogs into the vet’s office.
“um, i think my dogs ate some rat poison.”
“which one?”
“i’m not sure. i wasn’t at home.”
“are you sure it was eaten?”
“yeeeeah. i’m pretty sure. DON’T JUDGE ME! THE DOOR IS USUALLY PADLOCKED! I DON’T KNOW WHY IT WASN’T LOCKED TODAY! PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY DOGS AWAY FROM ME! I LOVE ROXY MORE THAN I LOVE CHOCOLATE! MORE THAN I LOVE PEPSI! MORE THAN I LOVE…*GASP* JEEPS! WAAAAAAH!”

i’ll tell all the awesome jeep stories later, after i find out if my dogs are gonna live.
they will live.
they’re gonna be fine.
RIGHT?!

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