And now a play starring me:SCENE: interior of a car. A husband is driving. His beautiful wife is sitting in the passenger seat, and old, old folk song called Waterloo is playing on the radio. This is all the beautiful wife’s fault. 

Mr. Fleegan: what is this song? Is this from the Civil War?

Me: no! C’mon, Waterloo? That’s Napoleon. Way before the Civil War. Like 1815 or whatnot.

Mr. Fleegan: but like, *close* to the Civil War.

Me: Do you mean France’s civil war?

Mr. Fleegan: who is Francis?

Me: I hate you so much. 

Mr. Fleegan: You’re bad at math.

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