9.20.05

Category: dribblings

so yesterday was awesome and today kicked my ass. see how everything evens out?

yesterday Cakehole helped me paint a double room at the Holy House. it would’ve taken me all day but with our powers combined it took about 3 and a half hours. and for lunch we had MAGIC BURGER because he had never been there before.
work hasn’t been that fun in a long time.
kris and laura had us over for pizza and we brought beer that was in cans shaped like bottles! novelty beer!

that afternoon i was on the phone with laura (geez, either i’m on the phone with you a lot, or things just happen while i’m on the phone with you. odd.) and i heard someone outside talking ot my dog and said, “oh hell. someone’s talking to my dog i better go check it ou- hey! it’s someone in a jeep! i gotta go.”

and it was DAN! he came by to meet Roxy. and then he said, “i wanted to check out the air filter in your lawnmower.” i know, what on old line that is, huh? hee. kidding. he had seen me out mowing last week and it was so dusty and he wanted to fix it for me ‘cos he’s a dad and that’s what dad’s do. they help clueless girls with small combustion engines.

well, of course the air filter was filled with dirt and pollen and other such things that give you Sinus Plague. so he fixed it and said, “when was the last time the oil was changed in this thing?”
“oil? there’s oil in this?”
“heh.”
“i don’t know. the mower came with the house so…”
“well, let’s check it.” so he checked it and said, “jaimie, there’s no oil in this thing!”
“oh.”
“how has it even been running?”
“um, the Lord?”
“do you have any oil?”
“like, weedwacker oil?”
“you mean the kind you mix with the gas?”
“yeah! i have that kind!”
“no, this takes regular motor oil.”
“oh, like the kind in the jeep?”
“yeah.”
“well, then we are in business ‘cos i have the motor oil.”

‘cos if you own a jeep? you own an oil leak.

so no kidding, he turns it upside down to let the oil drain out and there’s like, maybe two tablespoons of oil in it. oops. but now, thanks to Dan, there’s NEW oil in it. then he said i needed a new blade for it as the old one is unsharpenable. neat. i was all, “geez dan, you’re the Lawnmower Man.” and then he tells me that he’s had the SAME SNAPPER PUSH MOWER FOR 18 YEARS.

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

i told him that he’s a walking commercial. later that night i told my dad about the 18 year old lawnmower and he was all, “my god, that’s a commercial!”
“that’s what i said!”
“hey, i got another commercial for ya.”
“okay.”
“pastor faith was up here a few days ago to visit justin.”
“yeah.”
“well, he had a RubberMaid container in the back of his car.”
“okay.”
“it was from his house in New Orleans.”
“yeah?”
“yeah. apparently they had a couple of bins like that with stuff in them, right? like clothes and things?”
“yeah. mr. bentley is notorious for his rubbermaid containers.”
“yeah well here’s the thing. that was the only rubbermaid one. the others were knock-offs.”
“oh.”
“and the others all leaked. everything was ruined.”
“oh bummer.”
“yeah. well guess what was in the one that didn’t leak.”
“oh my gosh, Buddy’s baseball cards.”
“YES!”
“you are KIDDING me?!”
“nope. they were bone dry.”
“that’s INSANE.”
“i know!”
“commercial!”
“i KNOW!”

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