8.02.05

Category: dribblings

what i’m about to tell you is not funny unless you’ve
a. seen the commercials or
b. well…seen the commercials.

unfortunately, the commericals are local, so chances are, you’ve not seen them.

there are a series of commercials for a local used car lot that feature a little girl asking her car-selling grandpa (whom she calls Bobo) questions. one of the commercials goes like this:

GIRL SITTING ON A TOY CAR

girl: Bobo can *muffled words* ..um..*5 second pause* car?

CUT TO OLD GUY STANDING BY A REAL CAR

Bobo: That’s right Randi-Danielle! I’ll trade in any car! blah blah car sales talk…

all of his commercials have little Randi-Danielle garbling out words you can’t understand and Bobo. and these commercials have been around for like, at least 3 years. and the kid…she still can’t talk into the mic. or enunciate. but whatever, that’s fine. it’s just that…what bothers me is the commercial i’ve described above. no kidding, there’s a 5 second pause in the kid’s spiel. and 5 seconds of TV time is like, nearly an eternity. so my beef with it is…was that the BEST take?

what is surprising about all this is that dad and i JUST NOW started calling each other Randi-Danielle. it’s a cute name, but southern to the bone. it cracks us up every time, because we are mean and stupid and we have a tendancy to laugh at the same thing over and over.

what was even funnier to us was that at lunch we told Tin and Perry about it. and they both cracked up because they’ve seen the commercials and really, you HAVE to see the commercial for this to be remotely funny.
afterwhile dad and perry were talking about installing ceiling fans and perry said, “yeah we can do that.” about something that was a one-man job. and dad was all, “what’s this ‘we’ shit. you got worms or something?”
and perry said, “well, i was talking about you and me and *points at me* Randi-Danielle over there.”
we DIED laughing. i said in a little kid voice, “okay Bobo!”
we died again.

later on dad and i were on the elevator and the door opened and there was perry and he was all, “oh, the elevator’s too full, i’ll catch the next one.”
and while the doors were closing i said, “see ya later Bobo!”
and it totally caught him off guard and it was awesome to see him start to crack up as the doors closed.

THINGS THAT ARE EVEN LESS FUNNY THAN THAT

someone is screwing with my mail. it’s either lola or Crazy Margaret, right? one of the random catalogues came and the previous owner’s name was scratched out with a pen and the part that says “or current resident” was circled. look, the post office doesn’t waste time on that kind of shit. so someone’s going through my mail. the thing that REALLY PISSES ME OFF is that a wedding invitation i received was OPENED. i mean, THEY FUCKING HAD TO BREAK A FUCKING STICKER/SEAL THING TO OPEN IT.

i swear, the next time Crazy Margaret comes around i’m going to talk to her LIKE A DOG.
i am so pissed. DAMMIT! like it’s not making me paranoid enough to live next to these crazy mofo’s now i don’t know if i’m getting all my mail or not.
LIKE A DOG. i don’t care if she did it or not. i’m going to put the fear in her.

and if it’s lola?
well, you can kiss her goodbye. i’ll have no problems reporting that shit, and she can go live in a group home or something where she NEEDS TO BE.

SO ANGRY.

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