the one about the pope and basketball

Category: weekleez


tuesday, november 28, 2000

well kids i hope your holiday was as cool as mine.
on friday i was a bit sick and so i sat in the big comfy chair and watched Junkyard Wars on TLC all night long. it was awesome. a bit cheesey and overdramatic sure, but its still a cool show. well, the eight (8) hours of it that i saw were pretty cool.
um anyway, i don’t have any sort of funny list this week. and well, i don’t have a parafable either. in fact i have nothing for you guys. i am a vacuum at the moment. and we all know that nature abhors a vacuum. what am i saying?

so sunday night i’m watching CNN or C-SPAN or some other “newsish” type channel and i see a little blurb and i think this is how i heard it, “and there’s still no blah blah blah florida blah bush blah blah vice president words words blah new york words things pope john blah honor blah no other pope blah blahddy words pope yadda memeber of the harlem globetrotters blahddy yadda words news….”
and of course anytime anyone says the words, ‘harlem globetrotters’ it doesn’t matter what you are doing you automatically tune in. why? because they might show a clip of the ‘trotters doing cool tricks! hello? like i’m the only one.
so anyway now i’m paying attention and the deal is that they are making the pope an honorary member of the harlem globetrotters. (ok, i’m not making this up so don’t give me that look.) and you would think that i would burst into maniacal laughter after hearing that but i don’t. i calmly looked at my mom and dad and said, “did they really just say that?”
and mom said something like, “why are they going to do that?”
and dad seemed pretty bored with the whole thing.
now my brother, who was not in the room whilst all this took place, comes walking in and i say, “justin, did you hear that?”
and he says, “hear what?”
and my father says, “they’re making the pope…” and at that moment he burst into maniacal laughter. and justin is confused so i try to clear up the confusion by telling him that, “the pope is going to be…” and so i of course, burst into maniacal laughter.
which leaves my mom and she calmly relays to my brother what we saw on the news to which he replies, “why are they going to do that?”

i wish i could tell you guys why they are honoring the pope with such a thing. i must not have been paying attention. but you know what? as cruel as this sounds, i wouldn’t want the pope on my basketball team. let’s face it, he’s no good. i mean, he hasn’t played a game of b-ball in years. he’s weak. not that i blame him or anything. da popa is a busy guy. and where would he play?
i seriously doubt that the tour goes like this, “and there’s st peter’s bascilica, and over there we have the piazza, and directly in front of you is… hey! itsa da popa shootin’ some hoops with some of his personal guard! hey, alright popa!” not in a million.

and so i guess here’s where i could make a list of people that i would or would not want on my basketball team and why, but i’m not. i’m tired of doing all the work here. so your homework this week is to send me an email with who you would or wouldn’t want on your team and i’ll put them in next week’s email.
you guys better send me something or else i’ll sever your uninteractive email addy from this silly list and then you’ll have to ask one your buddies to forward any future weekly emails to you and the worst part will be that they’ll know why they’re having to forward these silly notes to you.
oh the shame. oh the shame. of course, i can be bought. so keep that in mind. : ) BAH-hahahahaha. and justin, i’m expecting something funny from you.

have a good week ok?

jaimie “oh the shame” pickle

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