8.16.05

Category: dribblings

today was oddly good. perhaps August is giving me a break? or just ran out of bullshit to throw at me? i’m not counting on it, but maybe time will tell.

at Lowe’s today, (i know. HATE! LOWE’S!) i couldn’t find the WD40. and of course i couldn’t find anyone who worked there to ask where it was. but then there’s this worker bee (a young dude, nice looking) on one of those portable staircases? and he’s taking down all this paint off the top shelf and i’m all, crap, i hate to interrupt this guy who is ACTUALLY working hard at something. but what the hell. i need WD40.
so i say, “excuse me?”
and he says, “yeah?”
and i say, “dude, where do you guys hide the WD40 around here?”
and he says, “i’ll show you.”

and so he climbs downs and we start walking. and walking. and walking. and…walking and holy shit, where the hell are we going?! we started out at the back of the paint section and now we’re at the end of the power tool section (those of you who go to the Gadsden store can see that that is quite a trek) and he says, “here it is.”
i say, “thank you, i’m sorry you had to walk all the way over here. i didn’t mean for you to-”
“hey, this is too much, you don’t need two giant cans do you?” because it was a display for the double package of WD40. and while i didn’t need that much WD40, i figured the other, smaller cans must be close by.
“Um, not really but i can-”
“hey! hey lou! where’s the small cans of WD40?!” he yells to the guy on the ladder at the other end of the tool section.
“they’re on the end of aisle 71!” lou yells back. holy lord, kill me now.
“here, let me show you-” says the young dude.
“oh that’s okay, it’s only 10 rows down. thank you so much for your help.” and the dude walks the 18 aisles back to his portable staircase. wow, what a nice young man. he’s either worked here for a long time or is brand new. ah, here we go…normal sized cans of-

“did you find them, okay?”
“wha-” oh my god…it’s…lou?
“oh, yes sir, thank you so-”
“oh just look at this!” he motions at the shelf where i notice that there’s only two normal-size cans and one tiny can of WD40 left. “well, they did a dandy job of restocking last night didn’t they?” he says all sarcastically.
he’s right, i mean it looks like that shelf has been raped or something so i say, “well, maybe they did restock it, and you know, a bunch of people came in this morning…and they all needed WD40.”
lou chuckled. then he pointed to a box on the floor that was filled with cans of WD40 and i said, “or maybe they did a dandy job of restocking?”
he chuckled again.

anyway…Lowe’s kind of rocked today.

OMG. I AM IN BIZARRO WORLD!

then dad and i went to Johnson’s and i said to him, “be prepared to see people you know in here.” because everytime i go in there i see someone i know. usually old people from the Holy House. sure enough we saw an oldster from the HH and guess who else i saw?!
cookie magoo‘s best friend, angie! yay! she is so sweet. i even invited myself over to her house for supper and she was all, “sure! come by around 6:30!” and she gave me her address. ANGIE IS TOO SWEET.
also, she might be on the crystal meth ‘cos she told me she had been up since the day before yesterday and she was working the whole time and she also talked 90 miles an hour. i was all, “dude, what are you on?”
but she wasn’t really high (like me!) she just works all the time. ANGIE IS TOO SWEET FOR DRUGS. WHEN ANGIE LOOKS AT DRUGS THEY TURN INTO KITTENS.

that’s how sweet she is.

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