8.22.05

Category: dribblings

several things.

first thing.
part of jimmy’s tongue no longer has any feeling in it. he had some nerve damage when he had his wisdom teeth pulled last year. i can see that having a tonuge that is part numb all the time would be really annoying or weird, however, i mean, at least he’s not constantly drooling or something, right? and i told him this. and his response was to get a drinking straw and ask me to touch it to his tongue to see if he could feel it.
“jimmy.”
“it’s just…i want to see if i can feel it if i don’t know that something is touching it.”
“jimmy.”
“just do it.”
” ‘oh. what did you do last night jaimie?’ ‘oh you know, the usual.’ ”
“see, i can feel it there but not back there.”
“sounds fatal…how long did the doc give ya?”
“about 6 inches.”
“sknnt. you jerk.”

second thing:
phone conversation
me: hey i rented a movie.
him: what did ya get?
me: remember that whodunit thriller where angelina jolie was the badass cop and it was all sexy and mystery-y?
him: yeah, we saw that one.
me: i know. this time i got the one with ashley judd.
him: oh! yeah! with samuel l. muthafuckin’ jackson?
me: that’s the one.
him: cool.
me: remember how the one with angelina jolie had that awkward sex scene?
him: it wasn’t awkward. it was hot.
me: yes, i know. but it was awkward ‘cos we were watching it with my dad.

third thing:
Wedding Crashers is hilarious.
him: what was your favorite part?
me: *i won’t say what it was ‘cos i don’t want to spoil it for others. just know that i laughed like a hyena*
him: you’re a sucker for a sight gag.
me: i know!

and i AM a sucker for a sight gag. in fact, EVERY time i think of the scene in Scary Movie 3 where the lady sheriff is getting in the car and the brim of her hat gets bigger in each scene? i laugh! i’m laughing right now! i love crap like that.

fourth thing:
The 40 Year Old Virgin was also hilarious and better than i thought it was going to be. kinda like Anchorman, in that i knew it was going to be funny, but i didn’t know that it was going to be good. i love surprises like that!

fifth thing:
today i was painting at my hair dresser’s house and she’s got a little girl pro’ly 1 and a halfish in age. so the lady puts the girl down for her nap and i go in the kitchen to get something and so the lady and i are talking for about 2 minutes when out comes the little girl covered in white and holding white, drippy globs in both her hands.
lady: oh hell, she’s gotten into the shaving cream again.
me: *gasp* no…oh no…that’s…that’s paint.

the drippy globs she was holding up so proud? two pacifiers.
she must’ve dropped them into the paint bucket and gotten them back out and oh my sweet lord, it was a mess. paint was everywhere.
the horror…the horror.

it was actually pretty hilarious. thank God the lady had had surgery last week so she was on pain killers and so was very mellow. but i mean, it’s not like you can yell at a 1 year old for diving into paint…they don’t know anything.
but man, that kid is sneaky. she didn’t make a sound until she was right up on us. and we were probalby less than 10 feet away from the bathroom.
she’s my little Paint Monkey.
oh, and don’t worry, it was latex and it washed right off the kid.

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