6.09.05

Category: dribblings

first thing this morning i’m eating a bowl of cheerios and watching tv when all a sudden i hear my name being screamed. what the? *sigh* gaad. Crazy Margaret. maybe she’ll just go away.

but she didn’t. in fact, she started banging on something and screaming my name some more. later in the day i noticed that my garbage can had been turned around. grr. don’t touch my things!

sheez. what a way to start out the day. she needed money for “cat food”. oh shut up. if you needed money for cat food i’d give it to you. don’t even ask, FA. hee.

anyway then she proceeded to tell me that Crazy Lola keeps running over the corner of my driveway and is going to break it. she said she told Lola that her new neighbor (me) won’t like her breaking the driveway like that. then she said that Lola said that everyone (including Margaret) are her new neighbors and we can all go to hell.

score one for Lola.

then she told me that the water pump in the jeep is about to go out.
good guess. everything in the jeep is about to go out.

then she started getting nosy about my business and i told her i had to go take a shit, and i walked back in the house.
i wish!
i told her that i had to go brush my teeth. but man, it would have been funnier the other way. hee.

***

i got to eat lunch today with popsicle and yimmy! i told them about My Morning with Margaret. i also confessed to them that she hadn’t been around for several days and i had secretly wished that she was dead, well, gone anyway. dad said, “i know a way to get her to go away.”
“oh yeah?”
“yeah, have jimmy print out some $20 bills on his computer.”
“HA!”
“just wear rubber gloves when you hand her the money. and when the police come to your door all you have to say is, “officer, i’ve never seen this woman before.” i mean, who’s he going to believe?”
jimmy said, “yeah, and to make it even easier i’ll put her face on it instead.”
“oh man. that’s good.”
“yeah. that’ll get rid of her for about 5 to 10 years.”
“heeeeee!”
dad’s all, “insane we trust.”
jimmy’s all, “we could put Crazy Bill on one too.”
“and Lola.”

later dad says, “i wonder how many Margaret Bucks this meal will cost?”
and that? is where i lost it.

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