6.12.05

Category: dribblings

it has been a margaret-filled weekend. Crazy Margaret has been by twice to ruin my day(s). oy.

she screams my name. it sounds like she’s on fire or something. so embarrassing. i need a webcam i can put on the driveway.

she says that “the blacks” have been eyeing my grill. well, okay. it’s not even mine. but, if they want it they’ll have to work for it. she told me i should chain it to the deck.
“margaret, if they can cut through the lock or fence, then they’re gonna be able to cut through a chain or the lock i put on it.”

“well, i noticed that your basement window was cracked open and it wasn’t like that yesterday because i came by here yesterday and it wasn’t open.”
“what?!” and then she starts to move my garbage can to the side of the house where the window is. “hey! what are you doing?! stop!”
“shh! shh! *whispering* they still might be in there. come on! we’ll use this to-”
“margaret! no! we won’t! there isn’t anyone in my storage room. what are you…what does that even mean*?”
“but the window-”
“it’s probably a cat. i’ve been hearing a cat in there for-”
“no! cat’s can’t open a window! shh! shh!”

so i go to the storage room and of course no one is in there and i try to close the window but i can’t because i’m too short and anyway i figure i’ll just get jimmy to close it when he comes over.

*the part i cannot describe is when she’s whispering to me about “the blacks” being in my storage room she was doing these weird, almost-military hand signals. so crazy.

then she starts pointing to the neighbor’s house (not Crazy Lola, but the other side) and whispering things i have no idea what they mean.
“what?! what are you doing?”
“pssh! pssh! *pointing at the house behind her hand, like she’s being sneaky* pssh pssh!” more gibbered whispering.
“i don’t see anyone, marg-”
“22! 22! *and starts making gun noises* them!”
“look, there’s no one over there right now, okay?”
“can they get in your house from the basement?”
“no. no they can’t. there’s no access at all. so don’t even think ab-”
“hey! hey! the window is still open! i thought you-”
“yes, i know. i couldn’t reach it, but i’ll have my boyfriend close it when he gets here.”
“when are you getting married?”
“huh? i don’t know. soon.”
“are you going to live here when you get married?”
“ye-es. now i gotta-”
“i was thinkin’ the other day that it’s gonna be hard when you have kids because of these steps and all.”
“what?”
“i mean these steps here. it’s gonna be hard-”
“uh. yeah? look, i gotta go.”

don’t you wish you were me? i do.

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