4.01.07

Category: dribblings

happy birthday to all my April Fools, Buddy, Megs, and Mr. Fleegan.

so i was outside yesterday cutting down some more of my tree limbs and of course, Crazy Margaret comes by. she was talking crazy let me tell you. i can’t remember any of it because it was all so crazy. but at one point she was telling me how to shave my dog. i todl her that there’s no way i’m shaving the dog, i pay to have her hair clipped…she’s too much dog for me to handle. so then margaret tells me how to drug my dog so that it will be easier to cut her hair.

“go buy some children’s tylenol.”

“what?”

“jaimie, i know what i’m talking about. a vet told me to do this, it ain’t gonna hurt your dog. now, does she eat bacon and eggs for breakfast?”

“of course not, she gets dog food.”

“jaimie! i’m TRYIN’ TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO THIS.”

“i’m not feeding her bacon and eggs.”

“YOU’RE NOT LISTENING TO ME! when she eats the bacon and eggs what you gotta do is you eat a bite and then she eats a bite and then when she’s done eating her bites then you drink two table spoons of the children’s tylenol.”

“i drink it?”

“YES! and see since you’re both females the medicine will tie into her from you and it won’t hurt her a bit.”

“i can totally see how that would work, margaret.”

eventually the postman came by on his rounds and he looked at me and kinda grinned that grin that we all have when we’re around CM and another normal comes by. only, then he was screwed because she followed him as he walked the street on the way to her house in hopes that her crazy check was in the mail.

then the postman came back (he parks his jeep next to my driveway whil he walks that part of the street) without CM (perhaps she got her check?) and while i was throwing more limbs on the curb he said, “that margaret is something else.” and i said, “sometimes she says the most interesting things i’ve ever heard.”
he laughed and said, “yep, she’s a pistol.”

Tags:

No Comments