The One About Laura Wrote a Weekly
May 01, 2002

hola, chica!

you know how crazy things are always happening to me at gas stations? well, let me tell you about this week’s epitome. i’m on my way to hot-lanta, ya dig, but a girl’s gotta fuel up first, a’ight? so me & my posse swing by the local flell mart (i been a flell girl since i lived at home, where the flell station was the only gas-up place we had… until the flubdonald’s moved in). so i get out of my car, ready to pump and my boyfriend beats me to it! he won’t let me pump and pay for my own gas! me! “but i’m every woman!” i say. he pumps and pays anyway. jerk. stuff like that *always* happens to me at gas stations.

and if it’s not a gas station experience, it’s a restaurant. i went to this fancy schmancy place over the weekend. and by fancy, i mean that they sold nutella on bread and charged you for it like it’s not something you can get at the grocery store. but they did have crayons so you could draw on the tablecloth, so the place was cool. this is the place where there’s a full length mirror by the toilet in the lady’s room. damn, but i look fine while taking a leak! the only trouble with this place was that none of the waiters (we had at least 3 different waiters) flirted with me at all. that’s because they were all gay! yes, that’s right! our waiter flirted with my boyfriend instead of me! jerk.

but none of that is what i really wanted to share with you this week. nope, the real dealio today is 10 Things I Miss About Cable.
10. The Prevue Channel.
okay, okay, so i haven’t had this channel since i moved out of my ‘rents
place. i still miss it! it is a very useful station. how else are you going
to know what lame “i can’t believe i’m missing that!” movie is playing on
USA right now.

9. 2 episodes of Friends back to back from 6-7 on the WB
remember the one where phoebe is dating 2 guys? where ross and rachel do it?
when monica makes out with one of the dudes from Hootie & the Blowfish?
remember when they were cool? (i know you’ve got the album. i saw it in your
bedroom. right next to all those other albums you don’t own.)

8. The Weather Channel
i never really used the weather channel, mostly cause i could never remember
what channel it was and if i did find it, i was too impatient to wait 10
minutes to find out the local weather, but there’s just something reassuring
about knowing it was there if i needed it.

7. Adult Swim
oh, those zany kids on Home Movies! i wonder what kind of movie they’re
making this week.

6. (as if)

5. catching an accidental episode of “Who’s Line is it Anyway?”
this show has never failed to make me laugh. and i have never been able to
remember when it comes on, that always made catching an episode here and
there kind of serendipitous… like the power bill being less than $30.

4. the soft glow of an informercial
woke up freaked out in the night and a plain ol’ night light ain’t getting
the job done? just turn on the telly to some lady trying to sell you
something you don’t need and let the flickering light lull you back to a
fitful, restless sleep.

3. VH1
it doesn’t matter if you’ve seen it before. it doesn’t matter if you hate
the band. it doesn’t matter if you’re going to be late for your open heart
surgery. behind the music is on and this time it’s the bangles!!!

2. UPN
without it, i can’t watch Buffy. this means i am at the mercy of my
grandmother (god help us all) for the new episodes.

1. The WB
Angel, Smallville, Gilmore Girls, how i pine for thee. i kinda miss havin’
folks over to watch ’em with me, too.

and there you have it.

next week’s tell-all: dry skin and how it can be gross.

Laura “see what you’ve done” Bentley

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