the one about the hippie locomotive

Category: weekleez

the one about the hippie locomotive
tuesday, january 09, 2001

hi everyone,

i have two things to tell you.

first, i was driving down the road and i saw a bumper sticker on this car and it read, “my other car is a locomotive”. and i had three thoughts fly into my brain right after i read that. my first thought was “liar”.

my second thought was about one of the first locomotives in england and it was named the comet. the funny thing is the comet’s top speed was 15 mph. not exactly comet-y. and my third thought was something like, “was that supposed to be impressive?” i mean, locomotive? come on, that’s so passe. it sounds so slow. ‘locomotive’ was back when steam was all the rage and the conductor used to say “all aboard!”. and kids, i’m sorry, but they just don’t say that anymore.

i doubt that “his” locomotive could go any faster than the k-car he put that sticker on.

i mean, why locomotive? why not train? “my other car is a train”. doesn’t train seem more fast, more modern, more better? of course, i’m not “up” with the whole “railroad jargon”. maybe to the fans of the rails locomotive is the “word”.

“yo casey! how’s the locomotive this morning?”
“dude, i got engine number 9 and my cow catcher is ret ta go!”
that translates to: “yo, what’s up?!” and “dude, i’m having a great day!”

but anyway, back to the trainlover. girls, if you ever date a guy with a bumper sticker like that don’t be surprised when you hear, “hey! wanna see my train set?” and i bet he wears one of those hats while he plays with the trains too. woo woo. chka chka chka woo. woo.

ok, now for my other story.

i was driving down the road and i saw this sticker (i know, this story starts out like the other story but its not the same story) actually it wasn’t a sticker. it was vinyl letters on the back of this car’s windshield and the letters read, “hippies for god”.

hippies for god! it really said that. and so, that’s cool. i mean, if the free-spirited folk want to worship the lord well then that’s great! what with all their peace and love stuff i figure god should be in there too right? and so i’m glad that there are some dirty tree huggers out there brave enough to sport such a creed, hippies for god!

(sigh, and of course the “dirty tree hugging” part was a joke. love the hippies.)

so now you’re thinking ‘hippies for god’ big deal, right? well, this was not emblazened on an old microbus or some volkswagen beetle, nay nay my friends, nay nay.

it was on the back of a RED CORVETTE!

GET OUT!!!
true story.

so here’s my list of ten (10) bumper stickers that these people SHOULD have had on their cars.
(i haven’t made a list in such a long time.)

10. my other car is a hippie.

9. my other car is a locomotive, which means i can only go where the rails are laid down and i have to keep to the timetables which is a fragile system of time and distance and not keeping up with the tables could cause a major crash seeing as how i have to share the rail with other trains. so as you can see, i’m very important.

8. i’m a hippie, no really!

7. chicks dig locomotives

6. there is no #6.

5. my other car is one of those super express trains that go over 200 mph! that’s ton’s faster than a plain old locomotive!

4. don’t blame me. i voted for pennsylvania railroad, pacific #1361!!

3. you see, timetables are very important because there’s another train on this same rail and its headed in my direction and if i’m not in a certain place at such and such a time then our two trains will collide in a cacophany of sound and carnage. so by saying “my other car is a locomotive” what i really mean is “my god, what time is it?!”

2. “my god, what time is it?!”

1. peace, love, harmony, and my 427 big block ’66 CORVETTE STING RAY!

and there you have it. the weekly for this week of january, 09, 2001.

and if any of you are freaky trainlovers, well, sorry for making fun of you. but you really are an easy target. (and hey, you wanna know a secret? i like trains too. but not as much as you do, freak.)
and for all you god lovin’, tree hugging, ‘vette drivers…well, god bless.

keep it real this week,

jaimie “atchison, topeka and the santa fe” pickle

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