The one about soup

Category: weekleez

The one about soup
Tuesday, December 12, 2000

happy 10 or so shopping days to you and yours!  

can someone forward this to bruce cornutt?  he changed email addy’s and then he wrote down his new one for me which i promptly lost.  

well kids, she’s back.  i’ve seen her.  i know, i thought she was gone too.  but nay nay my friends, nay nay.  i saw her on tv.  it was *her*.  and she is still preaching her message.  her message has not changed.  and neither has she.  

the old crone is still screaming her message to one and all.  

“don’t you BUY no ugly truck!”   

for those of you who may not know who i’m talking about i’ll explain.  there is some local car dealership and years ago their ads had this old lady and her face would pop up during the commercial and in her old gravely voice she would very sternly say, “don’t you BUY no ugly truck!”.  and she would drag the word ‘buy’ out.  and it was ridiculous.   

well, i saw a new commercial and she’s still a crone and she’s still very serious about not buying ugly trucks.  preach on sister. hala ja lula amen.  

ok so i have a parafable for you.  

earlier today i was in an eating place with jimmy “don’t you BUY no ugly truck” jones.  and for the sake of me not getting sued i’ll not tell you the name of said eating place.  but it does rhyme with flooby floosday’s.  anyway, we saw some people that we know and we said hi to them and for the sake of not embarrassing them or their daughter they shall remain unnamed.  but their last name does rhyme with flandy.  and flanny flandy is a flare officer.  (oh man, this is bad.   i’m making myself laugh). so we said our ‘hello’s’ to the flandy family and then ate our flinner.  um, dinner.  and to make a long story short, i had the same thing!   

(you know, i went back and reread that and i realize that the short version of the story makes no sense.  so i’ll have to tell you the long version, but to save time i’ll not start the story completely over but instead start from the part about eating dinner.)  

so we ate dinner.  and then we finished eating and put on our coats and grabbed our packages and proceeded to leave.  and then we stopped at the flandy table to say our ‘goodbyes’ and ‘good to see you agains’ and ‘have a good holidays’.   then the waiter came over and apologized to flester flandy about something and then walked away.  at that moment flebbie flandy told us that young flester had found a fly in her soup.  and young flester seemed to be quite disturbed (and *gag* who wouldn’t be? *gag*) and i was *gag* also disturbed because *gag* i had just finished off my own bowl of *gag* soup.   

and so good citizens of emailville, the moral of the story is this: just because you don’t see a vile, nasty, winged beastie in your bowl of soup du jour, that DOES NOT MEAN, dear friend, that YOU and /or SOME ONE YOU KNOW have not been contaminated.  but it goes much deeper than that boys and girls.  i’m not just talking about gross things and gastric discomfort.  i’m talking spiritual warfare.  i’m talking about watching your back.  and YOU BETTER be watching your BUDDY’S  back too, and for the sake of pete, make sure your BUDDY is watching YOUR back!  my god people!  am i the only one who sees what’s going on here?!  if A is equal to B and she has a fly in HER soup then holy ugly truck batman!   

“waiter!  there’s a fly in her soup!  and dear lord, i just ate a brimmin’ bowl of it myself!  and dontcha see, waiter?  you were used!  he’s the lord of the flies and YOU were HIS PAWN!  my god, man!  renounce your serving ways and join us in the fight!  REMEMBER!   

don’t you BUY no ugly truck!”    

jaimie “gimmie the ugliest truck on the lot” pickle

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