April 2007 50 Books

Category: 50 Books

 

18. Josie and Rebecca: The Western Chronicles by Vada Foster and B.L. Miller
Okay, this is a funny story. Wait, not the book, the book isn’t funny at all, but the reason behind me reading it and then the book itself…well, that’s what’s funny. When I work at the library I am asked several times a day, “Have you read anything good lately?” or “What do you recommend?” or “I really like Karen Kingsbury, but I’ve read all her books. Do you know of any similar authors?” And the thing is I don’t because I’ve never read any of her books. I know that she writes Christian fiction and…that’s about it. I don’t know if her stories are set in the “old west” like what’shisname Morris’s books are or not. So usually I ask one of the other librarians for suggestions all, “Hmm, Kingsbury you say? Guys? You have any ideas?”

So I’m trying to read a couple of things that normally I’d never give a second glance to so’s that I can be a well read library worker who’s able to help old ladies find shitty books to read. It’s a hardship, but what can I say? I’m dedicated to the job.

So I’m looking in the fiction stacks last week and I see a group of Christian fiction westerns on the top row. They’re all the same size and have the same last name on the spine and so I pick the one with Josie in the title because Flippy’s cat is named Josie and what a cute name and bonus: the book didn’t say Book 1 or Book 2 or anything like that to make it part of a series. Perfect. A stand alone Christian western. If it’s any good I can start recommending it.

So I’m reading this book, right? And the story is not believable, but we forgive that ‘cos it’s fiction. But it reads like the author just throws the characters together. The one character is Josie, and she’s a badass outlaw. The other character is Rebecca, and she’s an innocent farm girl who runs away cos her dad beats her. The two women end up traveling together…which was part of the unbelievable part. Then the women sort of become pals as they travel. Then they help people they meet. Halfway through the book i’m all, “I guess they’re going to meet some dudes pretty soon? Probably Christian dudes? And they’ll settle down and get married and be all BFF in the old west? yeah!” I say “halfway” but I’m not really sure if it was exactly halfway cos get this: THE PAGES ARE NOT NUMBERED. WTF? NO PAGE NUMBERS? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF PUBLISHING HOUSE IS THIS NO PAGE NUMBERS IF THAT DON’T BEAT ALL.

So halfway through I start not reading the book as intently as when I started the book. It seemed like it droned on and on and nothing different was happening. It was all camping and mishaps and helping people and Josie was getting nicer and Rebecca was getting better at not getting kidnapped. So I’m thinking, “This shit better get better soon. They better meet some dudes or one of them needs to die or SOMETHING.” Well, about 60 pages (i’m guessing, like i said NO PAGE NUMBERS) from the end of the book i’m reading all blah blah blah HUH?! because JUST THEN one of the ladies tells the other one that she’s in love with her!
And then the other lady? The other lady is all, “Oh, me too!”
So then I’m all, “Wait. They’re gay?” Yes. They are gay, for the next 20 – 30 pages they have the gay sex every time they turn around (i’m guesstimating here.)

So here I am reading about cowgirl lesbians, completely shocked because I thought this was a some kind of Christian western and Laura, Liz…I swear I say OUT LOUD, “I thought they were just good friends!” (don’t worry, that’s only funny if you’re Laura or Liz.)

“I thought they were just good friends.” This is EXACTLY what I used to say about the Xena show. I really liked the Xena show until season 4 (i think) when Gabrielle was raped by fire and then had a demon baby who killed Xena’s son? Yeah, that whole mess was so bad that I can’t believe there were two more seasons after that. Anyway, I always thought they were just good friends but apparently everyone else thought they were gay.

Meanwhile, I didn’t actually finish the book (but I’m counting it cos i read all but like, the last little bit), not because it’s lesbian fiction, but because it was not that good anyway, and plus I can’t recommend it to the little old ladies who like Karen Kingsbury. (What would the Juniah League say? Lowahd.)

This book was bad. Trust me, the fact that it had lesbian cowgirls is like, the best thing about this book. The rest of it read like bad Xena fanfic. But I gotta say, I’m proud that my library has gay fiction. How awesome is that?

17. Side Effects by Amy Goldman Koss
I found this book the other day while i was reshelving it at the ‘brary and the cover was interesting with this bald girl doing this sort of huzzah! pose in these big baggy pants and I thought, “Hmm. Cancer story.” So I read the back of the book and it seemed a little funny so I thought what the heck give it a shot.

It IS a cancer story about a 14 or 15 year old girl who has lymphoma. It’s not really a typical story I don’t think…not that I would know seeing as how I’ve not read many (if any?) stories about kids with cancer. I will say that the girl is very sarcastic and had a real smart mouth (reminds me of…me!) but that she was actually too sarcastic and not really emotional enough or something. Like she was bored by everyone including the cancer. It was a pretty short book especially for a YA book…those books seem to be getting thicker and thicker.

Anyway, it wasn’t a bad book. There was some cursing in it, and she doesn’t die…so there’s that. I noticed on the jacket cover that it said something about a happy ending so I figured it was a safe read and not one that would end with me pouring buckets of tears out of my eyes. I guess what I liked best about the book was how she noticed that everyone around her was trying to act like every thing was all normal so as not to upset her, but that it was everyone “acting” all hunky-dory that was freaking her out.

meh.

 

 

16. Natural Born Charmer by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
So this novel was a complete mindless read. A romance story with crazy names like Blue, Riley, erm…Dean. However, it was a hilarious story and most of the characters were very sarcastic. So I loved it, and I’ll be recommending it to everyone at the library. It starts out all “Wacky Premise!” and then just gets more crazy from there, but it’s a funny story and like i say, the characters are way sarcastic.

I’ve never read any other of Ms. Phillips’ books, but if I find out that she’s got other funny books, I’ll probably read them too.

Laura, Kelly? Read this book. Kristie, i’m not sure if you read, but this book was hilarious, so if you do read, read this.

 

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