July 2007 50 Books

Category: 50 Books

 

32. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J. K. Rowling

I can’t talk about this book because it’s a Harry Potter book and I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone. I will say this about it though, it was too long. Also Harry is a whiny, angry little bitch in it. I guess that’s all part of being a teenage boy. Also, I’ve been calling it the Harry Potter and the Odor of the Penis…because I’m no better than a whiny, angry bitch of a teenage boy.

31. Sweet and Deadly by Charlaine Harris

This was a stand alone novel and not part of one of her series (serieses? serices? serii? I should definitely know what the plural of series is. How old am I? What grade am I in? Perhaps series IS the plural form of series. Yes. Let’s go with that.) It’s not one of her Sookie Stackhouse series nor the horrible newish series she has about the weirdo stepbrother and sister who find dead people.

This is a story about a girl in a small southern town who works for a local newspaper. I’m not sure what year the story takes place but it’s either the ’80s or ’70s I think as the people at the paper use typewriters and there was no mention of computers or cell phones or anything fancy like that.

I liked this book for two reasons:

1. The author kind of uses an untrustworthy narrator. You’re not sure if she’s a crazy killer or just kind of strange.

2. The ending was very abrupt…which reminds me of how books used to end.

Let me say though, that I did not like the ending. I did not like or even believe the reason why the killer was killing people. It was really, REALLY dumb. I don’t want to spoil the ending…but also I really do. So if you enjoy this author’s previous work and you think you want to read this book, by all means, give it a go, and don’t read the rest of this “review” as I’m about to spoil it. If you don’t give a rat’s ass about this book and will never read it, and you want to know why I didn’t believe the ending then proceed with this pithy rant.

<spoiler>

So the killer is not the narrator girl. It is instead the next door neighbor, an old and very ‘distinguished member of the community’ as they say. The girl’s dad was the town doctor and 6 months prior to the beginning of the book he and his wife were killed. Murder unsolved. Who would want to kill the town doctor?

So now, other people are being murdered…the nurse who used to work for the town doctor and then the guy who lives in the dead doctor’s old office. S’anyway, turns out it’s the distinguished old neighbor guy who’s killed these people because he was sick and was tested and came out positive with…

leprosy.

And if you have leprosy you have to be reported to the public health department. And the old guy didn’t want the doctor to tell on him. And that’s why he was killing people. So people wouldn’t find out about his leprosy.

Anyway, he tries to kill the girl and she kills him first and then it just ends. Man, I read a lot of junk.

</spoiler>

30. Demons are Forever by Julie Kenner

It’s her latest Demon book and the best part about the book is that it starts exactly where the last one, California Demon, (those authors and their puns, I tell you) left off. I like when a series does that. Sue Grafton is pretty good about that. It continues the story of Kate, the demon hunting soccer mom, and her family in a small town in California that just happens to have tons of demons in it.

The only bad part about this book and the others in the series is, and I mentioned this on last year’s 50 books page, she is really, really, real redundant, for real. No really.

Really.

That was sarcasm, folks.

Half the book is Kate saying how she’s got to protect her kids from the demons and how dare the demons get close to her kids and by God those demons will pay for putting her kids in danger. And all I can do is think, “WE KNOW, LADY. We GET IT. You are a parent who loves her children. You don’t want your children harmed. We don’t blame you. Even those of us without children can understand this. Now shut the fuck up about it already and either get on with the story or stop writing sloppy, redundant bullshit.”

Other than that, it was fine. Her daughter finds out about what her mom does and she starts training to help out. The husband, Stuart, is still in the dark about the demon junk. That part, too, is wearing thin. I mean, how does she keep sneaking out at night?…and with a broken garage door? Do you KNOW how loud that shit is?

29. Valley of Silence by Noraroberhem *cough cough*
Okay I read the last one. No mas.

This is the 3rd in the Circle trilogy. It was too long. Seriously, I lost interest at the beginning and knew how the damn thing was going to end. My friend Jan, she works at the ‘brary with me, was teasing me about how long it was taking me to finish this book. I told her how it was too long and I thought I had guessed the ending anyway. She was all, “How do you think it’s going to end?” and I said, “Well, obviously the good guys win the battle. The queen and the vamp are going to hook up but since he’ll live forever and she’s mortal it won’t work so either he’ll have to die in the battle, or more likely, he won’t die and the gods will give him a chance to be human again since he helped to kill the evil vampires. Am I right?”

“Well, you’ll just have to read to find out.”

So I finished it, and I won’t spoil it for you if you decide to read it. Just know that it was too long.

28. Dance of the Gods by Norablaephazzle
Right.

This is the second book in the Circle trilogy, the first being Morrigan’s Cross. It was okay. The love stories are really obvious, but the action parts are good. And it’s about vamps and witches and junk like that. Good vs Evil. Blah blah blah.

In this one the 6 have to train some more and go to this place called the Dance of the Gods so they can er, transport? to another world called Geall (it’s where the queen and the shapeshifter come from) because that’s where the last battle is going to be in the Valley of Silence.

I lost interest towards the end.

 

27. Morrigan’s Cross by Norammffmahem
Shut up, you.

The reason I picked up this book at all is that all the other librarians had read it, and it seemed that they couldn’t wait to get their breaktime so they could go and read it. And it’s part of a trilogy and EVERYONE loves a good trilogy.

This book was pretty good, I must say. It’s about how six people (very different people) have to come together to fight an army of vampires to save the world. There’s a sorcerer from the 12th century, a witch from the present, a vampire who is the brother of the sorcerer from the 12th century only it’s now so the vamp is over 900 years old, there’s a shape shifter guy and a queen from another world all together, and a vampire slayer from Chicago.

Look, I KNOW it sounds dumb, okay? But it’s really not bad. I mean, okay the love interests are hugely obvious…even before she gets to them, but STILL you keep reading! So that’s gotta count for something! Yes it does! Yuh huh!

I hate you.

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