7.15.08 Yesterday at the ‘brary…

Category: dribblings

today is P.J.’s birthday! Happy 12th Birthday, dude! skknt!

so yesterday at the ‘brary it was like this all day long:

a lady comes up to the desk to check out some books and one of the books is a reference book.

“i’m sorry ma’am, i can’t check this book out. it’s a reference book.” i say while pointing to the sticker that’s on the book cover that says, “This is a reference book and cannot be checked out.” or whatever that sticker says, it’s something like that.

she’s pissed. “what do you mean i can’t check it out? it was on the shelf!”

“i’m sorry. did you not find this in the reference section? it could have been misshelved or someone may have been looking at it and put it in the wrong place.”

“i got it over there.” she says. pointing. at the reference section.
above the reference section there are giant 12 inch letters that spell REFERENCE.

“right. that’s the reference section. none of those books can be checked out.” okay, now wait for it… wait for it…

“what? well when did y’all start doing that?”

since before you were born, lady.

***

that afternoon i had this awesome phone call, again a lady.

“the is jaimie, may i help you?”

“janie? is this the liberry?”

and let me just say that if you call the library and you get to me? you’ve gone through a whole automated menu deal.

“yes ma’am.”

“y’all got any law books?”

“yes ma’am, we have some. can you be a little more specific, and i can tell you if we have the type of law books that you’re looking for?”

“well, i don’t even have a liberry card.”

“do you live in etowah county?”

“yeah.”

“then your library card is free. you can fill out an application when you get here.”

“well, i don’t know about that. i’ll just come in and see what you have.”

“… okay.”
thank you for wasting both of our time. it was a refreshing change, wasn’t it?

Dear Public,

You have no idea how much I want to be your Liberry Superhero. When you call or come in and ask me a question I want to help you find what you’re looking for or answer your question SO COMPLETELY that when you leave you’ll leave with the book or information you were looking for and there will be no doubt in your mind that your search is complete.

But I need your help, Public. I need you to talk to me. I cannot read minds. I do not get paid enough to scry stones, paperclips, or anything, really, to figure out what you need. You must speak to me, preferably in complete sentences, but barring that maybe you could use more adjectives (those are your describing words!) when telling me what you’re looking for, and I can better answer your question.

HELP ME HELP YOU.

Love,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Liberry Worker

 

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