8.01.08 bonus ‘brary blog

Category: dribblings

i’m still, STILL, shocked by the public everyday.
what is it about paying your library fine that you have a problem with?
cos i? i don’t have a problem with it. you’re late? i don’t care. it’s no skin off my back. i don’t even care what your excuse is, it’s none of my business anyway. hell, you can keep the book out as long as you want as long as you ACTUALLY return it at some point and THEN pay the fine.

here’s what i hate. when someone returns a bunch of vidoes and they’re late. i hate that. because videos are $1 per day late. now, they max out at $5 each, right? and they can only check out 3 videos per card so the max fine on that would be $15, even if they’re a whole year late. now, if you’ve checked out 3 vids on the same day and wind up with a fine over $10 (on just the videos, if you’ve got books it changes the math a bit) we’ll waive part of the fine so that you only have to pay $10. i know, we’re sweet like that. so basically you’re getting 3 vidoes for over a week for $10.

WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM, LADY?

if you’d have brought them back on time you’d have gotten them for free, hag. but you didn’t. so pay up, sucka.

you’d give Blockbuster your money without bitching about it. why are you all up in my face about YOUR FINES? and don’t give me any kind of bullshit either, i’ve heard it all and i don’t care.

oh, and? let me give you guys a tip, m’kay? if you’re ever trying to make excuses about why your shit is late (and like i’ve said, we don’t care unless your house burned down, car was stolen, or there’s sickness or a death in the family.) DON’T EVEN try to use “we were on vacation” as your excuse. because that only pisses us off.

i had a lady come in and she was all, “my books are a little bit late.”

“okay.” i start scanning them.

“we were on vacation. so, if i have to pay a fine on them that’s okay.”

what do you mean “if”? i finish scanning them in and say, “your fine is $9.00.”

“WHAT?! NINE DOLLARS?! WHY?!”

“you had 10 books checked out and they were nine days late. it’s ten cents a day per book.”

“WHAT?!”

“you owe ninety cents per book. they were nine days late.”

“but i was on vacation!”

“yes, but the library wasn’t. you could have called the library and renewed your books over the phone.”

“do i have to pay it today?”

“do you want to check out any books today?”

“yes.”

“then you have to pay it today.”

she ended up paying, but she wasn’t happy about it. it was one of those deals where she threw the money on the countertop. i don’t know what the problem was really. she knew they were late and the date due stickers are HUGE. i guess she’s not good at math? or thought that we’d waive her fines cos she was on vacation?

and you know what slays me? i mean SLAYS ME? repeat offenders.
and i don’t mean people who are always late with their books. i was always late with my books before i worked at the ‘brary. i’m talking about people who are always late and then always freak out over having to pay a fine. it’s your own fault, toolbag! just pay your fine and move on, YOU’RE the only one making a big deal about it.

ugh, i hope i don’t sound unreasonable. those two hags ticked me off. and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad but we get hags like that all the time.

of course, we get other people who come in and are all, “these books are late! i’m so sorry!”
and their fine is really small and within the limit that you’re still allowed to check out books and we’ll say, “oh you can get it next time if you want.” but they freak out all, “no way! i’ll go ahead and pay it so i won’t have to worry about it.” worry about owing the ‘brary thirty cents? really? you’re awesome!

oh! but! i have another ‘brary story for you!

this old guy was in the other day (he had a hobo-ness to him) and he was sitting at a table reading this book. after about an hour he came up to the desk and was all, “how much is this book?”
it was a booksale book, so don’t laugh yet. i told him it was twenty-five cents.
“that’s a good deal,” he said.

“i think so too,” i replied.

“i don’t have any money on me right now.”

“well, i could hold it for you up here at the desk, and you could come back for it later on today.”

“i’m visiting from out of town. and this is my last day.”

“no kidding?”

“i tell you what i could do. i could take the book with me, and mail you the money. do you have a card or something with the address on it?”

“let me get this right, i let you take the book?”

“yes.”

“and you’re going to mail the money back to us?”

“yes. when i get home.”

“you’re going to mail us a quarter?”

“i’ll put it in some paper and then put it in an envelope with your address on it.”

“the quarter?”

“yeah, i’ll put the quarter in some paper.”

“you know what? …sure, that’ll be fine.”

“okay, thank you!”

“you’re welcome. have a nice day.”

“you too.”

so he leaves, and i put a quarter in the booksale money. he comes back in and i figure he’s found a quarter or something. he comes up and says, “by the way, my name is John Smith.*”

“hi John, i’m Jaimie.”

“no, so when you get the mail you’ll know it’s from me.”

“oh right. of course.”

and he leaves again.

i figure no harm no foul. it was a quarter. if he’d wanted a whole box of books then i may not have been so generous, right? but there’s no way i could begrudge a hobo a book.

so days pass and i get to work one afternoon, and there on the desk is a piece of notebook paper with a small note written on it and a quarter taped to it. i was all, “holy cow! he really mailed it!” and everyone was all, “do you know about this?!” because i guess no one else was around when he was talking me into letting him take the book. and when the letter came everyone was really confused because who mails a quarter?
i thought it was pretty awesome that he kept his word though.

*his name was not John Smith.

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