8.11.08 ‘brary tales

Category: dribblings

we have a Voldemort at the ‘brary.

in fact, i’m willing to bet that EVERY library, bookstore, videostore, or other public place each has their own Voldemorts, perhaps even two or three per.

now, what i mean by Voldemort is not some evil wizard who is out to kill child wizards. nay, that shit would be reportable. what i mean is, there’s a patron who is a royal pain in the neck (wants us to break the computer rules for him, he listens to music on his headphones so loud we can hear it at the circ. desk, he prints things out and then wants to pay for them “next time”… just all around douchebaggery.), and it never fails that if one of us mentions his name that later on that day he magically shows up and graces us with his shitty presence.

thus is the power of Voldemort.
so we’ve taken to calling him “he-who-must-not-be-named”. of course, that only works if you’re not an idiot like me.

coworker: you know, he-who-must-not-be-named hasn’t been here in a while. i wonder why we’ve been so lucky?

me: who? oh, you mean Voldemort?

coworker: shh! …great.

me: damn! sorry. maybe this time it won’t work. i mean do you really believe…

coworker: how could you? what’s the matter with you?

me: sorry, really. i wasn’t even thinking.

coworker: sigh.

me: but really, what are the odds that he’ll come in?

coworker: now? 100%.

me: oh come on.

an hour later… in walks Voldemort.

me: ho.lee.shit.

coworker: yeah, and he’s all yours.

me: fine.

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