41. New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

I can’t believe I read the whooooole thing. I’m not really going to go into the plot because I don’t want to get involved in any spoiler issues.

It would be easy to tear this book apart and talk about how teenie-bopper, melodramatic, redundant, trite, insulting to the intelligence, as well as insulting to female teenagers across the planet, and… gosh, where was I going with this? I wanted to say something positive.

I want to say something like, even though Bella is one of the most annoying literary characters I’ve ever encountered, and I’m talking more annoying than Ignatius J. Reilly, Kay Scarpetta and her inflated ego, and Ashley Wilkes combined, that the story was still enjoyable and the other characters are still likeable.

And to make matters worse? This book is probably 150-200 pages too long. It was a whopper and it dragged on and on. The author writes well enough that she could have written a much shorter book that told the same story and nothing would have been compromised. There, that’s nearly a compliment, isn’t it?

I don’t understand why these books are so popular, especially among young women. Bella is one of the most repulsive, goopy, immature, whiny- my god her whining, selfish, one-track-mind, pathetic, d-bag, contemptible, broken record, irritating females ever written. Even Anne (she of the Green Gables) isn’t as annoying as Bella, and make no mistake, Anne was a pain in the ass who would NOT S.T.F.U. (or that’s how I remember her. in the books, not the miniseries as much.)

It’s just not right, Bella is really responsible for a teen, right? Makes good grades, takes care of her dad, makes dinner every night, cleans house, drives sensibly, and yet, when it comes to Edward/Jacob she becomes a complete twit. And yes, I can see how that could be very much like a teenager. But she’s a twit for 98% of the book. So it feels like the author is betraying every teenage girl who has/will read her book.

I can see how the teens and ‘tweens could be all, “oh Edward is soooo dreamy.” and, “oh Jacob is soooo dreamy.” but that holds their attention for over 550 pages? I don’t buy that. So just what makes this series so popular?

This gets 400 Cansecos. Unless someone can convince me otherwise.

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