so mr. fleegan is doing this whole digital TV swap box homemade DVR thing. i don’t know anything about it, you’ll have to ask him. and when he talks to me about it i’m all, “yeah, yeah, yeah can you stop fucking around with the TV? Family Guy is on.”

so this evening he’s all, “hey jaimie, blah blah blah wasn’t that HD awesome?”

and i’m over here typing a righteous anger-filled review of New Moon and answer, “what? yeah. wait, what?”

and he’s all, “HD blah blah blah the clarity blah awesome HD blah.”

and i say, “jimmy, i’m a girl. girls don’t care about HD television.”

“yes they do! just because you-”

“jimmy, you show me a girl who cares about HDTV, and i’ll show you a lesbian.”


“it’s true.”

“no way.”

“let’s go ask fellykish. she’ll say the same thing.”

so we walk down the hall to fellykish’s room and jimmy tries to trap her all, “hey kelly, if you had a choice to watch the Lord of the Rings on an HDTV or a regular one, what would be your choice?”

she’s all, “what? i’ve seen it both ways. there’s not a big difference.”

“but which way would you prefer to watch it?”

“who cares?”

i’m all, “see?”

she’s all, “what’s going on?”

“i told him girls don’t care about HDTV bullshit.”

“that’s true.”


“yeah but-”

“but nothing, furthermore, i told him ‘you show me a girl who cares about HDTV, and i’ll show you a lesbian.” 

“ha! good point.”

“thank you.”

“how can you say that?”

“okay, 90% of girls who are into HD…”

“yeah, and that’s not counting girls who are stuck selling televisions at stores.”

“totally not counting those. and part of that 10% goes to girls whose boyfriends couldn’t stand their shitty TVs so they harped on them till they bought whatever bullshit to shut the boyfriend up.”


“i just don’t-”

“name a single one of our single girl friends who has an amazing TV setup HD big screen dolby blah blah. or one who even TALKS about TVs.”


“see? it’s a total guy thing.”

“it is.”


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