9.03.07

Category: dribblings

right. cover your swimming pools and put away your white shoes, it’s Labor Day, kids!

since it’s indeed labor day and i’ve got the day off (although i did think about starting a new paint job, but thought better of it as it’ll still be there tomorrow, yay labor!) i thought i’d post the rest of the pics of the badass nursery job. so first right, i’ll talk about the trash can.

the lady of the house had this trash can, and she asks me she asks, “hey jaimie awesomepainter, i’ve got this white trash can that i was going to throw away, but maybe you could do something with it so it’ll match the nursery?”

so i said something like, “yeah. sure babe. i’ll take a look at it.” all cool-like right? cos like, i might paint a trash can and i might not, you know?

what i actually said was probably something like, “i’m on it!”

i started with this.

so i grabbed me trusty green painter’s tape wishing for once that i had bought the really thin half inch type instead of the inch/inch and a half that i usually buy cos it’s more universal in it’s uses and i’m rambling and i know you can’t possibly care what size paint tape i have, sorry.

so using a ruler, protactor, compass, and all my knowledge of geo-trigonometric circle formulas i measure the middle of each scallop at the top and trace it down to the bottom thus finding my endpoint and taping it making a very precise cone shape. well, ice cream cone shape.


okay i totally eyeballed it. i don’t own a protractor much less remember how to use one, and as for trigonometry? i remember a lot of “what’s your sine?” jokes, and nothing else. but i think the important thing here is that i realize that if i knew math i could have taped the thing perfectly. lucky for me i’ve got an art degree and worked a couple of years at a sign shop, which is like having a License to Eyeball a Midpoint.
which i think is a 001. or maybe a 00.1

Jones, Jaimie Jones.

[wow, so far there’s been math jokes and a Bond joke. you may want to stop reading now before this becomes so stupid that your brain leaks out your ears.]

so then i slapped two coats of the light pink paint on the trash can. when i tried to take the tape off it ripped the beautiful straight edge so i had to take the whole thing home and finish it there so i could use an x-acto knife to score the edges of the tape so’s it would come off cleanly.


oh nice pic, james. was i drunk when i took that?

and here it is after the tape is cut and removed.


and if that’s not an attractive picture of my trash can and wreck of a kitchen table, i don’t know what is.

i then taped the can again. using me trusty green painter’s tape size… using my protractor, compass, eyeballs… nevermind.
i taped it, then painted it with the darker pink.
it looked like this:

then i cut the tape off that to reveal an awesome design of amazing fun!

and while it may look like mr. fleegan and i are total stoners what with the Trisciuts, Reese’s, Little Debbies, Junior Mints, and Munchos… i assure you we’re not. we’re just 10 years old when we go to the store. oh! but isn’t that the sweetest trash can you’ve ever seen?

i sprayed a clearcoat on it cos that paint would chip off if you so much as looked at it hard. and then i took it back to the badass nursery where it looks something like this:


i can’t lie. it looks exactly like that.

how could you not love that? GASP. BUT LOOK AT THE SCALLOPED EDGE ON THE WALL! WTFOMGFBI!

oh yeah. remember when the nursery looked like this?


with the straight edge?

well now, it looks like this:

let’s see a close-up, shall we?

closer!


too close! back up, fool!

so anyway, how cute and awesome is that?

i’d tell you how i did that trick, but then you’d know how i did it. and i wouldn’t be quite so awesome anymore. so i’ll let you think that i did it with my mysterious magic art skillz. which, now that i think about it, is exactly how i did that. crap, now you know! now i have to kill the whole internet.

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