Category: dribblings

in other news: we’ve a book thief at the ‘brary. this jerkhole had stolen more than a dozen books. i’ve no idea who’s doing it and it’s really ticking me off. they are stealing stuff like Koontz, Feehan, Laymon, and other weirdos, so i guess i should be happy that they aren’t stealing anything “good” like classics or judy blume or harry potter or god forbid, nonfiction.

still, i’m mad as hell about it. i think of all the mysteries i read and puzzles i solve and now here’s some bozo stealing books right under my nose. i don’t have any suspects. there’s not a single person i can think of who goes to the back of the ‘brary and hangs out long enough to rip off barcodes and targets and whatall. maybe it’s more than one person. maybe it’s some kind of bibliogang what steals books for kicks. like i said, they’re not getting anything good…it’s just the pissing me off that bothers me.

and what kind of impotent, low-life, sexually dysfunctional, vomit eating cretin steals from a library? THE BOOKS ARE FREE. how many times do you read a dean koontz book? once. and then you pass it on to someone else. you don’t need those books on your bookshelves. the library lends you those books FOR FREE, and when you’re done you bring them back and they let you have NEW ONES… which are also FREE. and you don’t have to clutter up your house with the shitty books you read.

so i figure it’s either some kind of klepto who can’t help his or herself, or it’s a douchebag we’ve pissed off somehow by either not letting them checkout something (because they owe us more than $3.00) or we’ve revoked their computer privileges because they were caught bypassing our system or looking up the dirty pictures. or i guess it could be some sweet old lady. you can never tell with oldsters.

a conversation on sunday:

“i haven’t had a drink in days.”

“yeah right.”

“no seriously, it’s been days.”

“no it hasn’t.”

“yes it has…like, it’s been since tuesday.”

“you liar! what about friday?!”

“i didn’t drink on friday.”

“yes you did! i was WITH YOU. we played video games? remember? you were the one with the whiskey in her diet coke?”

“oh! oh yeah. heh, i forgot about that.”

“yeah, cos you’re an alcoholic.”

“oh shut up with the pot calling the kettle- oh hey, you know what? on thursday i had some red wine.”

“see? alkie.”

“shut it. it seemed like it had been longer than just two days.”

“maybe you should go to a meeting.”

“maybe you should shut your Face Off starring Nicholas Cage and John Travolta.”

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