anticool

every so often (daily) i prove to the world i am anticool. this usually involves me talking to other people.

por exemplo: yesterday a teen (perhaps ‘tween? it’s hard to tell.) was checking out a stack of Nancy Drews. a tall stack, hee, of Nancys. so i think to myself, hey self, talk to the teen so she knows that we’re a cool library and that we think teens are people too. she’ll think hey, this is a cool library and the library workers here are really nice and cool. yeah, that’s how it will go down.

lemme interrupt to say that most times i don’t comment on what someone is checking out. it seems rude. sometimes, if it’s an adult checking out something like Berenstein Bears but they don’t have the kids with them i’ll tease ’em and be all, “ah, doing some light reading?” or if it’s a book i’ve read i’ll tell them that it’s a good one or a weird one or what have you. but mostly i don’t even notice what people check out. plus, a lot of times people are checking out things you really shouldn’t comment on, “oh, getting a divorce? good luck with that!” see?

so it’s really easy to work all day and not think about books at all. they become rectangles. but anyway, there’s the girl with the stack of Nancys. so Jan is scanning the books and i’m putting the dates on them and i say to the teen i say, “so, you like Nancy Drew?” and the girl is all, “yeah.” and i ask, “is she still dating Ned?” and the girl is all, “yeah.” and she takes her books and walks away.

i turn to Jan and say, “DON’T LET ME TALK ANYMORE.”

“what? why?”

“i just asked her if Nancy and Ned are still dating. as if they are real people. as if, somehow, the storylines and plots of books written 70 years ago have… changed? OF COURSE NANCY AND NED ARE TOGETHER. HOW WOULD THEY NOT BE? what, like suddenly in book #108 there’s a love triange with Ned, Nancy, and Bess?”

“heh.”

“don’t let me talk to any more patrons tonight. i’m the blackhole of cool. if coolness comes around i just suck it up, and it disappears, and i become more dense.”

Tags: books, library, nerd