Category: dribblings

still no news on the crushed deck/insurance debacle.

i went by the old house to check on things the other day and SOMEONE HAS STOLEN MY CITY GARBAGE CAN. i called the city and asked if maybe they had picked up the can since it was not being used. 6 transfers later a lady tells me that no, they haven’t picked up my can. so yes, it’s been stolen. that’s just awesome isn’t it? what kind of dickless hobo steals a trashcan?



the other day i received a tiny envelope in the mail. if you’re a girl you know this means one of three things:

invite to a wedding shower
invite to a baby shower
thank you card

lucky me it was a thank you card. (i can’t afford any presents right now. we just had christmas and this tax season has hm, how can i put this… cornholed us. we need to have a baby.) it was from my credit union. it was a sweet thank you from the ladies at the bank. oh yeah! i had forgotten about that!

several weeks ago the credit union workers were on strike. a certain friend of ours (i will not name names, as even though i disagree with said friend i still love and appreciate said friend) made a HUGE deal about it. friend was all, “how dare they! what have THEY got to complain about?! blah blah blah bank rant blah.” i grew up in a goodyear family. and my pops was a union man. so i grew up with union talk and strikes and no paychecks for weeks and lots of hamburger helper. so, while i have no idea what the ladies at the credit union were striking for, i said more power to them for fighting for what they believed was fair, AND it would be a cold day in hell before i crossed the picket line.

it’s hard to write checks when you havent’ made a deposit because you won’t cross a picket line. so another credit union in town said that the patrons of our credit union could use theirs and it wouldn’t be considered crossing the line. i don’t even know how that’s possible. and i didn’t really trust it. and luckily, i didn’t have to because the strike lasted maybe a week? i can’t really remember.

one day i was on my way to the grocery store and i drove past the strikers and if you honked they would cheer. well, it’s all bank tellers, right? so it’s all women. (well it is!) and when people would honk it sounded like a Monkees concert or something with all the ladies cheering. so i honked and went on to the store. i think i was buying party food for some kind of party/girls night. the store is not far from the bank so you could still hear the ladies cheering, you just couldn’t see them. and it was funny watching people come out of the store all, “what the hell? are the Beatles getting off a plane somewhere?”

so i’m at the store buying party food, right? and i see some pre-cut trays with apple slices and cheddar cubes and things like that. and best off all they were on sale! like, $4. and it was a ton of fruit. and so i buy them for the party. so then i come out of the store all, “what the- are they filming girls gone wild?” no, wait. strikers. and i remember dad saying once that the strike line was always cold and you could only eat so many donuts before you never wanted to see another donut again. i guess people would bring them lots of donuts or something. so i wondered if anyone had given donuts to the girls. and i figured that would be a bad idea because you know how girls are, “oh no, i couldn’t possibly eat a delicious fresh-baked donut.” so anyway i thought, “i wonder what you should give girl strikers. probably fruit. that way they couldn’t bitch about- oh. oh no. please Lord, it’s my fruit. for the party! no! i only had $10! and it’s not like i can get more money cos the bitches are in my way! NOOOOOooooo! oh all right.” and i was regretting having to call laura later on and say, “hey, i bought fruit for the party and God made me give it to the strikers.” even though i know laura would understand.

so i pulled over to the strikers and i gave them my sack of pre-sliced fruit. the ladies came up all, “oh, she brought us food. what is it?” and the lady with the sack said, “ohmygosh! it’s FRUIT!” and they all cheered. for fruit. i guess it’s true about the donuts. and two of the ladies gave me hugs and one of them yelled out, “hey! what’s your name?” and i turned to say, “jaimie.” but one of the other tellers said, “that’s jaimie pickle.” and i was flabbergasted. i thought maybe we went to school together or something. i asked her how she knew my name and she said i come through her line all the time. thing is, i go to the drive through. so that was weird. maybe she recognized my jeep with the loud motor and fading paint. i dunno.

a couple weeks later i had to go in the bank because i had to re-order checks and one of the ladies said, “hey, that’s jaimie pickle! she’s the one who brought us fruit!” and the girls were all, “oh thank you! we ate it all! we even dropped one of the trays and the fruit spilled out on the grass and we STILL ate it! thank you thank you!”

so the next time God tells you to give your party fruit to the ladies at the bank you should probably do it. especially if you want to feel like an effin’ rockstar at the bank.

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