11.01.05

Category: dribblings

today at the tuesday morning ladies’ coffee devotional fun time the world famous Tina Sewell (that’s in case you want to google it. hee.) did the devotion and it was about bubbles. look, i can’t explain the whole thing, okay? but the point was that bubbles are pretty, but they don’t last and so why do we chase after bubbles when we could chase after something that lasts like God. so THEN she asked us to share the “bubbles” in our life.

well, as you can imagine no one said anything and we quickly changed the subject to things like pets and the internet and surprisingly, bubbles. but i sat there thinking, “gee, what is my bubble? what do i chase after instead of God?” and i couldn’t think of anything at first because of the chasing metaphor. i kept thinking that i don’t chase after things because i’m lazy and i hate to run. but then it hit me. and i said out loud, “hey, i’ve got a bubble to share.” and i told them that i spend more time on my website than i do reading the Bible or praying. and how sick is that, right? especially if you consider i only spend about 30 minutes updating and checking the message board.

and it’s not like i don’t have time, right? i mean, here i am, trying to read 50 books in a year. i probably could’ve read the whole Bible by now. and you want to know something else? i’ve never even read the whole Bible. the Bible, which is supposed to be my holy book, and i’ve never read it all. do i know what happens in the book of Haggai? no, i’ve never read that one, and you know what? it’s only one page long. so is Obadiah, but do you think i’ve read that one? no. heck, i’m lucky if i spelled it right.

what kind of fan of God am i if i’ve never even read His book?

holy shit. i’m a poser! yuck, is there anything more lame?

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10.31.05

Category: dribblings

today was a hard working busy day. i worked in attalla again, but this time no delicious BBQ. then i got home and mowed the lawn and then i SEEDED THE LAWN WITH RYEGRASS SEED. LIKE AN OLD PERSON.

kris and mr. b went to lowe’s today and they were nice and picked a 50lb bag of seed for me. AND! the abercrombie’s had a “spreader” (i know, totally porn.) and so it took me no time at all to spread all 50lbs. the dogs wanted to eat the seed and they were CONSTANTLY either stealing my bucket that i was using to scoop the seed out of the bag OR they were trying to drag the bag around the yard.
yard work is a LOSING BATTLE with those two boneheads around.
oh, but you know i love them.

i hope my lawn is lush and green looking all winterlong. dante drove by JUST as i had put up my lawnmower and he would’ve been so PROUD because i took the air filter out and cleaned it ‘cos it was way dusty when i mowed again.

then i went to southside and spent an hour looking at a job and figuring up an estimate. then i went home and took a shower and then mr. fleegan and i went to the catoe’s HALLOWEEN EXTRACTULAR! i don’t know what that means, extractular. i wanted it to be extravaganza and spectacular put together. but that extra T screws it up.

i can’t seem to finish any more books! i have two that i’m working on hardcore and STILL i can’t finish them.

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10.26.05

Category: dribblings

this evening i played bass on liz’z worship team. neither one of us had been to that particular church service before so we didn’t really know what to expect. maybe she did, but i did not. worship went well, i think. i wasn’t able to really get into it, but it was obvious that other people were getting into it (they clap after each song. that’s so weird. i want to scream, “don’t clap unless you’re clapping for jesus okay?!”), so i figure at least we did our job. Brookie was wailing on guitar. it was awesome. when i got off the stage it was weird though. it was like, “what on earth is going on down here?” because there was a definite vibe of strangeness. oldness. in the room, and on the stage it was not like that. i guess we were “protected”? for lack of a better word.

old weirdness. i have not the vocabulary for spiritual things.

later when we got back up to play for ministry time, i was able to get into it better. maybe because it was like i knew what we were up against. so it made me want to really worship the lord so that he would come and take care of business. TCB.

then one of the guys from rapha (i think, i don’t know who he was. just some cool black dude in a leather coat) got up and played the drums and we jammed on a blues riff (the whole time i’m thinking, “why is the white girl playing bass?”) and that was really fun and cool and highly unexpected. glory!

(i hope that “glory” made Cookie laugh.)

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10.26.05

Category: dribblings

the kids are alright. (hee. i couldn’t help it, liz.) the dogs came home from the vet yesterday and they seem to be doing fine. Roxy was freaky when she first came home but after a couple of hours she stopped crappie floppin’ in the yard and would actually acknowledge me. Kaze was the same as always.

however, i will never use the Isbell Animal Clinic ever again (that’s on N. 12th street) because i never got to speak to a vet, they didn’t explain the medicine, and i didn’t even get an itemized bill. i didn’t get a bill at all. nor did i get a reciept. that place is shady. i call shennnnnanigans!

IN OTHER NEWS: there is no other news at this time.

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10.24.05

Category: dribblings

i wanted to write about my AWESOME birthday because quite honestly, BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. and here’s a weird thing. this girl had a birthday (same day as mine) and also received a vehicle. mine, however, was not a Karmann Ghia, thank the sweet, sweet Lord and my parents, but was in fact a BLACK JEEP OF STEALTH AWESOMENESS.

i’ve never heard of anyone getting a car for her 28th birthday before, but i guess it happens somewhere in the world, probably every day, and aren’t i glad it happened to me? yes. yes, i am. it was a gigantic shock.

Best asked me, “if someone told you 6 months ago that you’d buy a house and own two cars would you have believed it?”

the answer of course is a resounding NO WAY, JOSE.

and see, i want to write all about the jeeps, the red one, the black one, the insurance fun i had this morning the license tag fun i had this afternoon, but i can’t bring myself to do it. because this afternoon i came home and the basement door was not padlocked and was in fact opened and i thought, “what the-?” and then i thought, “i wonder if the dogs went in there?” and then i thought, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo! nononononononononoooooo!”

because the eternal box of rat poison i leave in the basement was gone.

and i found it minutes later. in the yard. shredded to bits. and ALL the tasty green pellets of poison were gone. then i checked their water bucket and ALL of the water was gone. NOT a good sign.

the dogs seemed fine and were just as happy and rowdy as ever, but i called jimmy and told him and so we took the two mongrels to the vet and they are probably puking as we speak. they’ll be staying the night at the vets and I KNOW, I’M THE WORST MOM EVER. SHUT UP. LIKE YOU’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE? HM? OH THAT’S RIGHT, YOU’RE PERFECT.

i felt like a criminal bringing the two dogs into the vet’s office.
“um, i think my dogs ate some rat poison.”
“which one?”
“i’m not sure. i wasn’t at home.”
“are you sure it was eaten?”
“yeeeeah. i’m pretty sure. DON’T JUDGE ME! THE DOOR IS USUALLY PADLOCKED! I DON’T KNOW WHY IT WASN’T LOCKED TODAY! PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY DOGS AWAY FROM ME! I LOVE ROXY MORE THAN I LOVE CHOCOLATE! MORE THAN I LOVE PEPSI! MORE THAN I LOVE…*GASP* JEEPS! WAAAAAAH!”

i’ll tell all the awesome jeep stories later, after i find out if my dogs are gonna live.
they will live.
they’re gonna be fine.
RIGHT?!

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10. 21.05

Category: dribblings

happy birthday to Ivy and me. Ivy turns 6? maybe? and i turn er, slightly older than that. we’ll say late 20s and leave it.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. I AM FORCED TO WRITE ANOTHER LETTER.

Dear Lucy “Dr. Maddy Riordon” Lawless,

Hi. I think you’re a talented actress, honestly. In fact, it’s because I think you’re talented that I’m even writing you this letter. I think the old saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” And well, I guess what I’m trying to say is

SHAME ON YOU

You’ve been had. They tricked you, again. And this time? It’s not their fault. And honestly, Vampire Bats?! Admittedly they seem scarier than say, locusts…but, gosh. And I notice that you play the same character that you played in Locusts! What? Did you sign a 3 movie deal? Is there going to be another Giant, Killer Swarm movie after this one? I mean, am I going to be sitting on the couch sometime this winter minding my own and all of a sudden am I going to see Snowmen! or Elves! or Sugarplum Fairies! advertised? Am I? Because I need to know whether to kick a hole in my TV or not.

Sincerely,

Everybody

i’m totally picturing myself on the couch and seeing the preview for Snowmen! and the GLORIOUS spit-take that follows.

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10.20.05

Category: dribblings

i left the house at 8:30am and didn’t get home till 9pm. oh well, at least i made the sweet, sweet money with which to buy shoes for the babies. when i got home mr. fleegan had just pulled up so when we walked in the house i said, “wow, when you came by earlier you left ALL the lights on.” because all the lights were on. and he said, “no, that’s how you left the house because this is how it was when i got here earlier today.” and i said, “waitaminute, my house has NEVER been this bright what the-” and i looked up and there was a new ceiling fan WITH LIGHTS! GLORIOUS LIGHT! BRIGHT, GLOWING, AMAZING LIGHT!

it’s a SHOCKING amount of light. it’s so bright that it made the room hot. i was all, “wow! this is AWESOME! but i gotta turn it off ‘cos it’s driving me crazy.” lame of me, i know, but i’m not used to the brightness, yet.

dad came over during his lunch hour and put it up for me. he got it from the Holy House. i’m just second hand news. i’m just second haaand NEWS!

it’s a really nice fan. i can’t believe how bright it is ‘cos it uses those twerpy pointy bulbs.

***

i ate lunch all BY MYse-e-elf! again. at the same picnic table. as the same BBQ stand. this time i had the cheeseburger. i was torn, they had beefstew and i thought, hm, if it wasn’t a recordbreaking hot day today i’d have that. but. it was hot out. in october.
WE ARE LIVING IN THE END TIMES.

in the year 2525 october will be july.

i count 3 songs.

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10.18.05

Category: dribblings

wow, i feel like i haven’t blogged in so long. it’s been 5 days. that’s a business week. plus? no weeklies. what on earth? who is this girl with the unsatiable love for the dead? did i even spell that right?

tonight was another BOWLING NIGHT. i’m not good at bowling. at all. but! since it’s only $2.50 a game and $6 a pitcher…i don’t really care. it’s fun just to rag on each other. flippy always bowls about 90 points higher than me. bowl ho. then she’s all pissy when she ONLY knocks down 8 pins. i’m like, i’d give my left beer to knock down 8 pins. although this time i did get two strikes and two spares. but also? i got like 6 gutter ballz. that’s no good.

i wonder how many church bowling teams call themselves the Holy Rollers?

we don’t. because we’re not in a league. we’re just there for funzies. and beer.

***

my lips are chapped. they burn. the left over schezuan (SPANISH?!) chicken is NOT HELPING.

***

today i painted all alone (yesterday the K-ris helped me paint and it was so fun to have someone to talk to) in a strange town where i don’t know where anything is because there isn’t anything there (attalla. i was in attalla 1, so don’t be talking about the Magic Burger ‘cos that’s in attalla 3. ). so at lunch i went to this BBQ place that looks like a rundown shack. i love eating at really local places like that. it was some of the BEST BBQ i’ve had. but also, it’s kinda hard to screw up BBQ…unless there’s bones in it or something. but it was sad ‘cos i sat by myself outside at this picnic table and ate my messy BBQ sandwich all BY MYself. it was a gorgeous day out so i had that going for me. i mean, if it had been raining? i would have had no other choice but to kill myself. i called laura and was all, “i am so lonely! all alone am i!” and she was all, “yeah, that’s like, every work day for me.” i tell you this in case someday you need the Lonely Pathos…don’t call laura ‘cos she has you beat unless you drive a truck for a living.

what am i even talking about? this blog? is officially out of order. no order today. fresh out.

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10.13.05

Category: dribblings

today was Sugarlips Muldoon’s 40th birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINA!

i received a birthday present today from one of my favorite people, Mr. Finlayson aka Liz’s Dad. he is one of those people that you enjoy talking with. he knows things about things. what kinds of things? all kinds of things. and? he’s the Master of Ebay. this is not debatable.

do you want to know what he got me for my birthday? DO YOU?! BECAUSE IT’S REALLY AWESOME AND I’M SO EXCITED AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH! he actually- okay, first, he found it, right? and then he paid actual human money for it. then? he gave it to me! ME!

THE 1977 FISHER PRICE MUSIC BOX POCKET RADIO THAT PLAYS WHISTLE A HAPPY TUNE!!!

I KNOW!

he told me he got it for 99 cents.

I KNOW!

i told you, Master of Ebay, undebatable.

and i’ve only listened to it 3 quadrillion times since 7pm. it still works! and the trees! are still creepy-looking! it makes me smile a big, goofy smile every time i look at it, and even more so when i play it.

Brook, thank you so, so much.

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10.12.05

Category: dribblings

okay, so i read another book, The Whalestoe Letters, which is like a supplement to House of Leaves. It’s basically the letters that Johnny’s mom wrote + 11 others that were not in HoL. i know what you’re thinking.
1. “nerd.”
2. “isn’t that cheati-“

shut up. i’m padding my book numbers okay? so i had to read a small one okay? shut up, shut up, SHUT UP. DON’T JUDGE ME. how many books have YOU read?

***

my stomach hurts. i had a blackened chicken po’ boy for dinner. i wish i had eaten only half of it. but no. i ate it like i thought someone was going to take it away from me. PIG. DIRTY PIG WHAT PADS HER NUMBERS BY READING SMALL BOOKS.

today i think i yelled the phrase, “you two boneheads get out of my way!” probably a dozen times. i was talking to the dogs. i can’t walk 20 feet without stopping 5 times because they get all up in my way. it’s like they walk ahead of you then turn around and get in your way and smell you, again, because they just don’t want to miss something. “maybe she’s got food now!…..maybe now!….hey! maybe she has food!”
you know how i starve the poor little dears.

mr. fleegan called me yesterday to let me know that he still hasn’t found a naked dishwasher.

***

i mowed the lawn this afternoon! it’s the first time i’ve mowed since Dante came over and did some lawnmower maintenance mojo on the mower. it worked great except there was some white smoke at first but i figure that’s from the oil? hm? the smoke went away pretty fast.
the lawn was dusty and i’ll probably have some awesome eye/throat itchiness tomorrow, but the lawn looks pretty good.

also, there was lots of poop in the yard. 2 dogs = 2 tons of poop.

aren’t you glad you read this? don’t you wake up early each day and rush to the Great Internet and log on and click fleegan.com and think to yourself, “i wonder if jaimie stepped in loads of dog poop today?! i hope she tells me all about it! and about her petty aches and pains too! i love banality!”

go to www.pumpkingutter.com. tami sparks put the link on the forum. it is THE COOLEST. best part of all? no dog poop.

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