Where’s Waldo?

Category: dribblings

hummer03 

Can you spot the hummingbird?

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damselflies and snakes

Category: dribblings

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These things are painted up like ’70s muscle cars.

I’ve not posted in a while because two of my coworkers have been out, one with shingles the other with a broken foot. I’ve been filling in. Plus I’ve been watching the Yankees. SO BUSY. I don’t have time for you, Internet.

I finally got to go out after church today. Roxy and I hit the park where we saw lots of damselflies and some ugly dragonflies. I say ugly because they were thick and brown. They were like the moths of the dragonfly family. Still, their wings had a cool pattern on them. Also: no one cares.

Then, at the house, I was standing on the creek bank trying to get this other dragonfly and I heard the sound of something moving in the grass near my feet. you guessed it. A squirmy snake was all, “Iiieeee! she’s back!” and slithered deeper into the grass on the bank. It was less than a foot from my feet. I know it was more afraid of me than I was of it, but still, my heart jumped up into my throat and I may have lost control of my bowels. I’ll probably have a nightmare with a snake in it tonight.

I’ve finished two books and need to post them, but that will have to wait.

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‘nother snake!

Category: dribblings

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If this turns out to be Summer of the Snake instead of Summer of the Dragonfly (like last year, which was great because dragonflies are awesome.) I’m gonna be kind of pissed because while I don’t hate snakes they are not my favorite things to stumble across on my nature walks.

But I did get to see this really small snapping turtle. It was the size of a novelty keychain or something. So tiny cute!

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Kelly wanted to catch it, but I’m not one for catching things, and also turtles stink, and what do I know, they may carry some kind of plague or something. (Not that I’ve ever heard of anyone dying from Turtle Flu. Actually, I just made Turtle Flu up. But Google tells me they may have Salmonella. So I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t catch it. Cos I could be dead by now.)  That thing was so tiny that I wouldn’t be surprised if it had hatched this morning or yesterday.

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Snake!

Category: dribblings

We saw a snake on our walk this morning at Snake Bite Pond.

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It was in one of the creeks. I don’t think it was poisonous? But also, I don’t know shit about snakes. It certainly wasn’t aggressive or anything. Kristie threw rocks at it, several times, before it squirmed in the mud and hid under a biggish rock in the water.

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You don’t shush the shusher!

Category: dribblings

Today, at work, I was helping a lady at one of the computers. I was walking her through our printing software. And this old lady at one of the other computers shushed me.

I am the whitest white girl I know (Laura is probably a bit whiter, maybe. It’s close.) and even I had to reign in what little smidge of ghetto, the smidge that whipped my head around with a look on my face that said, “Uh uh. You can’t shush me. I work here! Get this straight, I’m the shusher. You are the shushee. Shushing a shusher? Are you serious?! Shushing me? No. RUDE.”

I did turn my head to see from whence the shushing, but I of course said nothing, because if I had said something it would’ve probably gotten me fired. It made me really mad though. I mean, I was helping someone, it wasn’t like we were being noisy or goofing around. Also, I didn’t recognize her, so maybe she didn’t know that I worked there? I think it shocked the others in the computer lab as well, because everyone turned and looked at me and we ALL had the same, “Really, lady?” look on our faces.

Shushing the shusher. Get real.

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Crazy Guy at the library

Category: dribblings

The public library is a magnet for mental illness. I don’t know why. Probably because it’s open and there’s chairs available.

There’s a guy that’s been coming in for a couple of months now, and he’s pretty crazy. He goes and talks to the fish in the fish tank, and he’s not doing it in the way that you or I would do it. For instance if I’m feeding the fish I may say something stupid like, “Eat up, you stupid fish.” No, he goes over and starts whispering secrets to the fish.
I pretend that he’s whispering an escape plan to them.

Also, he’ll walk up to the end of a bookcase and start pressing a series of imaginary buttons. He often goes into this spontateous Tai Chi-like stance, and will then blow air out of his mouth very noisily. He walks on his tip toes. He’ll pick up the end of a table, like he’s doing exercise.

As a bonus, he often stares at me. To be fair, I totally stare at him because I’m waiting for him to bother someone so we can get rid of him.

I know, I’m cold-hearted. But while this level of crazy (sometimes he stands up and becomes a maestro to an orchestra that only he can hear/see, complete with arm waving movements.) seems mostly harmless, I don’t want it to become a full-on crazy breakdown, he has a backpack with him and I have no idea what all is in that backpack. If he ever hurt a patron, or scared a kid, I’d feel so guilty. Like, I should’ve gotten rid of that guy sooner kind of thing, right?

Anyway, whatever, that’s the public in public library. Last night he takes out some papers from his backpack and starts spreading them out over the big reference table. It looks like a bunch of maps and stuff. Then he gets some of out atlases off the shelf and it looks like he’s comparing things and taking note or whatnot.

After he leaves (a couple of hours later) I go and clean up around the table and search terminals and there’s a folded up map that’s been left behind. Groan. Crazy Guy left a map. I could tell it was a weird map, kinda old but not like a real map (no lat. or long., looked kinda hand drawn, but it was printed.) I figured it was a treasure map from a box of cereal or something. I had to open it. I was wrong.

It was a map of Middle Earth.

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First dragonfly!

Category: dribblings

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Yesterday was Sunday and I played bass on two worship teams, one in the morning and one in the evening. There was a Yankees game in the middle I wanted to watch. The Yankees started losing, there was a homerun -fest, and by the 7th inning I knew they weren’t going to come back. So I took Roxy to the park. We were walking in this woody part near the pond, but not that close to the pond. I saw a bug zoom by.

Was that a dragonfly? Nah. Maybe a wasp or something.

But then again, I hung out with dragonflies a lot last summer. I know what a dragonfly looks like. That had to be one.

So I took Roxy to the pond and there was a dragonfly patrolling twenty or so feet of the pond bank. I think it was a  female blue dasher.

When I got home I checked the creek by our house. There are two at my creek (so far) each patrolling a section.

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Opening Day is tomorrow!

Category: dribblings

Tomorrow is Opening Day!
Tomorrow is Opening Day!
Tomorrow is Opening Day!
Tomorrow is Opening Day!
Tomorrow is Opening Day!
Tomorrow is Opening Day!
Tomorrow is Opening Day!

Time to get our MLB on!

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danged ol’ birds

Category: dribblings

The Northern Flickers give me the most trouble. I mean, you’d think with them being the state bird and all that they would be everywhere. But no, I rarely see them, and when I do? They ALWAYS fly away before I can get a decent picture of them.

The other woodpeckers, I see on a daily basis. The Yellow-bellied sapsucker, the red-headed woodpecker, they’re all over the place. And sure, when they see me they might fly to a different tree or scoot over to the shady side of the trunk, but they don’t fly far. And if I stand still a moment they tend to forget about me, or either figure I’m no big deal.

But those stupid yellowhammers are giving me fits.

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I think these two were flirting with each other (but I only saw them for 4 seconds so what do I know?) and then were all, “ABORT! ABORT!” and they flew 200 yards away like cowards.

stupid asshole birds.

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Is it safe?

Category: dribblings

I had to go to the dentist last week. Allow me to bore you with this story.

I’ve gone to the same dentist for almost 30 years. When we moved to this town, mom shopped for a dentist and found The New Guy. When she brought me in (3 or 4 maybe?) the dentist was all, “Hey, I don’t have any kid patients. There’s a pediactric dentist down-”

and mom’s all, “Here, now you have one.”

And we’ve gone to that same dentist twice a year ever since. And I’ve had the same hygienist for about as long. She is The Coal Miner’s Daughter. She looks nothing like Loretta Lynn, but mom called her that one day after a particularly deep and painful dig into her gums. The name has stuck ever since, because the lady is brutal. Obviously we don’t say this to her face. But when one of us goes to the dentist the convo goes like this:

“Had a dentist appointment today.”

“ooh. Coal Miner’s Daughter?”

“Coal Miner’s Daughter.”

“Sorry.”

“Yep.”

I realize that part of it is she’s trying to clean my teeth. The scraping isn’t because she hates me. And really, my teeth aren’t bad. I do brush and floss. Yep, floss. I’m old. My shoulder hurts when it rains, I enjoy taking walks outside with my dog, and I floss. These are all signs of aging.

But this lady is consistent in her brutality. When I rinse? It looks like I’ve been punched in the mouth. And that napkin they pin around your neck? Is just gore. I’ve become used to this routine, so now it’s not a surprise, and I mostly laugh it off. Ha ha! Pain! Ha ha! She really got me this time!

This time, and I think she did this to me last time as well, she was digging deep into my top gums (Dangerzone! heh.) and she, of course, has me bleeding like a stuck hog. So she wipes it with some gauze first, then I see her grab the vaccuum, and she’s sucking all the gore up. The vaccuum makes my gums cold, so I can’t take it for more than a second or two. Then, out of NOWHERE, because I did not see her grab for another tool, a shot of freezing electricity hits the sore spot SHE JUST CREATED with her PICK AXE. And I didn’t say, “Ow!” And I didn’t say, “Stop.”

What I did was full body jerk up off the chair, arms flailing, and I yelled, “Shit!” except my mouth was opened so it sounded more like, “Ick!”

In a complete deadpan she said, “Was that a sensitve spot?”

“What. Was that?”

“It was water, I was rinsing the area-”

“I’m going to need a warning next time, before you shoot ice water straight into a PAIN HOLE.”

“Here, go rinse in the sink, you can control the water temp.”

“Thank you.”

“Jaimie,  do we usually put a numbing gel on your gums before we start cleaning?”

“No.”

“you might try using a sensitive toothpaste-”

“Wait, there’s numbing gel? Since when? how long have you been holding out on me?”

“I’ll talk to the dentist about your senitive teeth.”

“My teeth are fine, it’s my bleeding gums that hurt.”

This is a lie, because my teeth ARE sensitive, but I’m not gonna tell HER that. Because in this instance it really is the pain hole she carved into my gums and then shot cold water on that is causing me pain and discomfort. I’ve learned to deal with my sensitive teeth. I don’t order salads or cold sandwiches. I keep my apples out of the ‘fridge. If I have fruit in the ‘fridge I’ll nuke it for 8 to 10 seconds to knock the chill off. I can eat ice cream cos it’s not something I chew, but I don’t have it that often. Popsicles? It’s best to avoid those. Also, I can’t have super hot coffee or soup. Let those cool a bit. This is not a difficult life.

So after the rest of the gore and pain and polishing, the dentist comes in and says, “So, you’re teeth are still sensitive?”

“Yeah well, it’s the hole in my gum that’s sensitive.”

“I’m going to write you a prescription for a toothpaste.”

“What?”

“It’s for sensitive teeth. It’s pricey but you need it.”

“My teeth are fine. Wait, do I have any cavities?”

“No.”

“Great. She shot cold water-”

“Get. This. Toothpaste.”

“Yes, sir.”

“It’s expensive, but you need it. Really.”

“How much are we talk-”

“GET IT. And use it. And don’t stop using it until it’s gone.”

“Okay.”

“And tell your mom and dad I said hello.”

“I will.”

So I take the ‘scrip to my drug store and the lady is all, “When do you want to pick it up?”

“Well, I don’t know if you looked at that or not, but it’s for a toothpaste. Do you guys keep prescription toothpaste in stock?”

“Oh. No.” And she looks at me like ‘who the hell gets prescription toothpaste?’

So I look at her back all ‘It’s not me, it’s my dentist.’

 “I’ll have it by Monday.”

“Thank you.”

***

Couple days later I go back to pick it up and THAT SHIT IS $26.00.

TWENTY-SIX DOLLAR FUCKING TOOTHPASTE? DID HE SAY IT WAS PRICEY? TEN DOLLARS IS PRICEY. TWENTY-SIX IS HILARIOUS.

Also, it is not a large family-size tube of toothpaste. And it’s colgate. TWENTY-SIX DOLLARS FOR COLGATE?! sonofabitch.

I must begrudgingly add that the first time I used it I rinsed with normal cold tap water and, honestly, I could tell a difference right away. And that was with the first brushing. I bet by the end of the week I’ll be biting into a cold popsicle and washing it down with piping hot coffee.

You win this round, Twenty-six dollar Colgate toothpaste. But hey, can a girl get a coupon?

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