7.28.08 extra ‘brary blog

Category: dribblings

just about every day there’s a book returned with a grocery list stuck in it. sometimes the impromptu bookmark is something more exotic like an old airline ticket, a packet of carrot seeds, or a photograph. my god, the photos we’ve pulled out of books. usually it’s a grandkid. we’ve a drawer half-filled with random pics of kids. why are we saving them? even we don’t know.

anyway, this morning there was a list that fell out of a book and i had to copy it down because it’s probably the most random list i’ve seen so far this year. it reads as follows:

potassium
prilosec
sant. pads
mayo
cortizone 10
padlock
“no tresspassing signs”
blush-revlon (cream) rosy glow

i’m guessing it’s an ironic no tresspassing sign?

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7.28.08 ‘brary blog

Category: dribblings

i had to work the ‘brary on saturday. it was mostly uneventful because saturdays in the summer in AL are for swimming and other outdoor shenanigans. but that doesn’t keep everyone away it just makes for slow saturdays at the ‘brary. however, we did have one character show up.

this lady comes in maybe once every two months. and what makes her a character is that she’s jewish. normally this wouldn’t be a “thing”, but this lady, she makes it a “thing”. she will ONLY check out books written by jews or nonfiction on the holocaust. talk about pidgeon-holing.

and she’s ALWAYS complaining that we don’t have many books on the holocaust. and lemme just say, for a small town public liberry in alabama? we’ve our share.

so on saturday she comes in and pokes around for a bit. eventually she comes up to the desk in a huff.

“i can’t believe this library doesn’t even have the Diary of Anne Frank!”

“this library does have the Diary of Anne Frank.”

“not according to your catalogue!”

“do you need the movie or the book?”

“the book, but you don’t have it.”

“oh, is it checked out?”

“no! it’s not in your catalogue!”

“what did you search for?”

“the Diary of Anne Frank!”

“oh, well, it’s not actually called The Diary of Anne Frank-”

“SINCE WHEN?!”

“it’s called Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl. but everyone just calls it the Diary of Anne Frank, i think maybe because of the movie?”

“well not in germany it isn’t!”

“…okay.”

“in germany it’s The Diary of Anne Frank!”

“well, it’s the same book. it’s written by Anne Frank.”

“well, where is it?”

“it’s in the biography section.” obviously. “under FRA… for Frank.”

and if her attitude hadn’t been so accusatory i wouldn’t mind, but she’s always acting like we hide the jewish books. like we’re hiding anne frank’s diary. right. that’s our favorite thing to do, rename books and hide them. sure.

then she says she’s going to read it to her students because she said that her students saw a movie that showed christians being persecuted and she wants to prove to them that the jews were persecuted much worse.

what the hell kind of teacher is this?

yes, the holocaust was terrible and evil. but all religious groups have been persecuted at one time or another, right? the Inquisition comes to mind. people have been stoned, burned at the stake, and worse since the beginning of time for their religious beliefs.
but since when does persecution = bragging rights?

if you’re going to teach the holocaust then teach the holocaust. but don’t use it as a measuring stick. use it as a “we can’t let something like this happen ever again.” but not as a “my people had it worse than your people.”
really? cos while i respect your people? i can’t stand you, lady.

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37. When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

Category: 50 Books

37. When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

This is a book of personal essays. So I guess it’s a memoir, but it doesn’t just talk about a certain period of time. The stories take place in different times of Mr. Sedaris’s life.

The essays were mostly humorous and contained some great sentences. Very clever writing.

A lot of people say that if you’ve read one of his books you’ve read them all, but I quite enjoyed it.
Good choice for a summer read.

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7.26.08 Teal Sha’nille is gone.

Category: dribblings

Teal Sha’nille es no mas. adios!

here, we have the New Look, as stolen from laura’s flickr page because apparently SOME of you talked to her about how my self-portraits in the bathroom were horrible and out of focus and just all around sloppy, and you had her come out to the salon to take pictures of the magic that is now my hair.

 well, just so you know, i talk about you behind your back too, but it’s not about your photos.

anyway, i’m not sure what the new name should be. kris has suggested Razzy Kamikaze (pronounced Rah-zee). the color itself is called Raspberry Kamikaze. i’m not sure i like having kamikaze in the name as i don’t feel like fabulous hair color is congruent to japanese suicide pilots, but maybe that’s just me.

laura pointed out that we named one of our dogs Kamikaze, and i pointed back with, “yes, and look how that turned out.”

la petit rouge’s ma has suggested Jame the Flame. she calls me Jame. i love her. and i love how the name rhymes, however, Jame the Flame suggests a “queen-ness”, and while i love Liza and Judy and Fosse and Halston, i’m not a prissy, male homosexual. so for now i’m rocking the Razzy Kamikaze.

SPEAKING OF HALSTON. weren’t they making a biopic on him? (hee, laura. biopic.) and were not brendan frazier and zoey dechamaleka-hi meka hiney ho in it? and why is it not on my TV right now? hollywoodland, i’m talking to you!

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7.24.08 Eggplant, it’s whats for… dinner?

Category: dribblings

at the RBC farmer’s market yesterday i purchased two eggplants. they were squatty, yet called to me, “jaimie, purchase us. it’ll be fun!” and they were only a buck each. look how cute they are!

now, i’m not in the habit of buying those things and really, the only ones i’ve ever dealt with are the skinny japanese ones, and they fry up like french fries and are delicious. so i figure the squatty ones can’t be too different.

things you might should know before you start screwing around with an eggplant:
1. you see the green stem and leaf part? that shit has thorns all over it. tiny ones. so don’t grab it blindly and try to pull it off like it’s some kind of hat that’s resting gently on the eggplant’s head. cos it doesn’t pull off like how you think it will.

2. as soon as you cut up the eggplant it starts to oxidize.

3. after you cut it, let it soak in cold salt water for 20 – 30 minutes. this will help get rid of it’s bitterness. the seeds are bitter and very small, but this salt water thing really helps.

so i cut one of those things up, soaked it. threw some olive oil in a skillet with some chopped onion, minced garlic, and saltnpeppa. i seasoned the eggplant and threw it in the skillet for about 6 minutes. then i took the eggplant out and put it in a bowl to sit and think about what it had done. then i tossed some cut up chicken in the skillet and fried that up. then i boiled some penne. chopped up some kalamata olives, a tomato, and chopped up some smoked mozzerella that i happened to have (i was going to use feta, but the feta i had was fuzzy, so i went with the mozzerella) then i tossed all of that junk together and KABLOOIE! dinner.


Jaimie’s Chicken Eggplant Pasta Especial

not bad at all. even jimmy liked it.

i also bought a sack of peaches at the farmer’s market, but the cobbler i made wasn’t very pretty. oh it was delicious, ask West. it just looked terrible because the top peaches dried out a bit and looked like peach jerky. but they tasted just peachy. pun!

and here’s a bonus Roxy pic.


she’s quietly judging you.

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36. The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher: Murder and the Undoing of a Great Victorian Detective by Kate Summerscale

Category: 50 Books

36. The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher: Murder and the Undoing of a Great Victorian Detective by Kate Summerscale

More true crime, anyone?

I wasn’t sure if I would like this one, I checked it out because I liked the title and the artwork on the cover, and because I’m a sucker for the true crime, but I was concerned because Victorian England is my least favorite thing to read about.

This awesome book went above and beyond the ol’ true crime genre. Sure there’s a “unsolved” murder in the book, but what makes this book so different is that it goes into the history of the detective as well as the literary history of the detective novel. The historical and literary parts of the book were so interesting that the murder itself (while quite gruesome and terrible all around) seemed to be just a vehicle for the history and literature bits. That’s not a bad thing, and I really enjoyed it.

I will say that the book was about 30 to 50 pages too long. Toward the very end I was just wanting the book over, not that it was boring exactly, it wasn’t, there was just some talking about the same thing over and over that if it had been eliminated it would have been a shorter book, but more concise and perfect.

If you like true crime as well as literature, definitely give this one a go.

It gets one Canseco for redundancy.

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7.23.08 WTF Wednesday

Category: dribblings

yesterday at work (because this has become the ‘brary blog alla sudden), i was lucky enough to get this phone call. it’s a foreign lady. and she was polite but stern.  

“hello i want to renew the dvds on our cards please.”

“sure. what’s the name?”

she gives me the names to check.

“okay, your dvds were due yesterday. i’m renewing them and there’s a fine of $4.”

i know. dvds are a dollar per day late. it’s steep, but also cheaper than renting from blockbuster.

“no, they’re not late!”

“yes ma’am, they are. they were due yesterday the 21st.”

“today IS the 21st.”

i check my desk calendar to make sure i’m not losing it. “…no ma’am, today is the 22nd. it’s Tuesday.”

“i KNOW it’s Tuesday.”

“right, well yesterday was the 21st.”

“no. today is the 21st. Tuesday.”

“ma’am, today is the 22nd.”

“no no, it’s the 21st.”

“ma’am, i promise you-”

“you hold on.”

and she put me on hold. which i actually didn’t mind because i was running out of things to say, you know? and i’ve shortened the conversation we had because we went back and forth like a bad Abbot and Costello bit for a good solid minute and a half. and she comes back and is all, “i’m looking at my calendar and it says today is the 21st.”

“really?”

“yes. the 21st.”

“and you’re looking at July?”

“yes!”

“and it’s a 2008 calendar?”

“of course!”

“well, i don’t know what to tell you. today is the 22nd. my calendar and my computer both have it as the 22nd.”

“no, today is the 21st.”

and now i’m starting to doubt… everything. is my computer wrong? is there a misprinted calendar involved? do we even lend dvds? is this one of July’s pranks? does July even go to 22 days? do i work here? are you there, God? it’s me, Jaimie. help!

“ma’am, you’re looking at July, right?”

“yes!”

“could it be that you have a 2009 calendar?”

“what? no! ….oh my goodness.”

“ah, mystery solved.”

“i am so sorry.”

“that’s all right.”

“i… skknt! *giggle giggle*”

and she starts laughing and i’m trying so hard to not laugh because she is a foreign lady and i don’t want her to think i’m laughing at her instead of with her. so my talking now sounds like i’m strangling from trying not to laugh.

“i’m so hahahahaha sorry about that. hahahaha”

“*laughcough* it’s no problem, really. *laughcough* your dvds are now due on July 29th… 2008. *choke*”

“hahahahahahahahaa! thank you! hahahahaha!”

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7.22.08 reefer log

Category: dribblings

it’s time for Reefer Log Tuesday.

lately on the reefer log the internet(s) have searched for this:

billy gilley i’m not looking forward to my blog becoming a search fest for this.
quakers shakers amish the trifecta!
pay kmart night shift
cool spy names now this, we have.
liberries yummy! i can’t wait for the liberry harvest in the fall.
my other car is a locomotive laura, can you believe this? CAN YOU? i think it’s time for a fake locomotive bumpersticker page. what am i saying? it’s past time for that. we could add it to your hello kitty page.
fisher price music box pocket radio i whistle a happy tune gasp! me too!

oh wait, you mean like, one of these fisher price pocket radios what plays “I Whistle a Happy Tune”?
oh snap!

talk about one of the best birthday presents ever. thanks again, Brookie.

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7.18.08

Category: dribblings

i was standing by my boss talking to her the other day and this guy comes up to her and says, “you look really familiar… what’s your name?”

and she told him her name (but only her first name, i noticed.) and he seemed confused by her name, like maybe he thought she was going to say something else, you know? so then he asks, “are you related to any Ledbetters*?”

and she said that she wasn’t and that her family isn’t actually from this state and then the guy finally mosied (moseyed?) away.

i said to her, “hey, that guy was totally hitting on you.”

shocked face: “what?”

“yeah. he thinks you’re hot.”

not amused at all face: “uh huh.”

“but he was totally making sure he wasn’t related to you first.”

and then we laughed.

*Ledbetter was not the name he asked.

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7.17.08

Category: dribblings

so yesterday at work i had to get on to a little boy. he was banging his hands on our glass display case and then he started pushing on the glass sides. i panicked as i pictured in my mind the glass snap/breaking and his hands pierced and bloody and then the crying that would follow so i yelled at him, “hey kid! …don’t!”

that was it. that’s the best i could do under my precognitive haze of blood and glass.

coworker jan lost it. she’s laughing at me, “hey kid? did you just say “hey kid”?!” guffaw.

so i’m laughing too because, well, yeah, “i panicked!”

“”hey kid. don’t.” that was your disciplining a child?” more laughter.

“i panicked! okay? he was hitting that glass really hard!”

“don’t!… yeah that’s specific.”

“oh, he knew! he knew! he’s not over there wailin’ on the glass anymore.”

“yeah, he’s over there telling his mom how you lambasted him.”

“shit.”

“hey kid! ….don’t!”

much more giggling ensued.

 

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