we went to a party yesterday at the Casa de Finlayson. lotsa food and booze. i took some pictures, mostly with laura’s camera as her’s is far superior to mine. but here’s a few from Jaimie Cam 2008 of two of my favorite boys.

there’s three of ben because he’s cuter than mr. fleegan.

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Tags: ben, mr. fleegan

33. Hats and Eyeglasses: A Family Love Affair with Gambling by Martha Frankel

Yes, I know. This does seem to be the Year of the Memoir for my reading choices. What can I say? I’m nosy. Plus the book covers have all been interesting.

This autobiography is about Ms. Frankel’s growing up in a family of gamblers, and then how she grows up and starts gambling too. Only it was odd because she wasn’t that into it until she was researching for a screenplay. She tries to learn all she can about poker so she can write about it for a character.

It was fascinating because once she really learned the game she did very well at the table. It was only when she started playing it online that her gambling became a problem. 

The book was written very well. She can really tell a story, and you can picture it perfectly in your head as well as you wish you had been there too. It was funny, entertaining, and sometimes sad, but never was she, “oh poor pitiful ol’ me. You should feel sorry for me.” She’s her own worst critic and that was kind of refreshing. It gets two Cansecos. I’d recommend this to anyone who likes bios/memoirs/poker.

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Tags: books, memoir

it looks like she only has one front leg.

i had my first bike spill Tuesday evening on my way home from work. it is probably the most unspectacular fall from a bike never recorded in history.

at the entrance of the neighborhood there’s a field on one side and a small wooded area on the other side of the street. in the evenings (i mean, every evening) there are two hawks that swoop from side to side hunting for dinner. you only see one hawk and hear the other one. remember when i thought it was a seagull?

on tuesday the one hawk swooped in front of my bike. so i stopped the bike and watched the hawk sit in the small tree it had swooped into. when i’d my fill of hawk watching i hopped up on my bike, only when i’d gotten off my bike my messenger bag (i know, it’s probably not ideal to wear a messenger bag while you ride a bike…i’m sure a back pack is a safer choice.) had tugged at my seat, and the seat had twisted sideways. i did not know this until i hopped up and couldn’t find the seat with my bottom.

my bag was slightly heavier than usual since i had an extra book in it so it sort of pulled me to the left. so i was trying to pull the other way to straighten out my seat with my thigh, which did not work at all, the seat wouldn’t budge. and you know how if the bike isn’t moving it’s hard to keep it upright? yes. so i tried toput my right foot down, but then my bag was caught on the seat and it pulled me back and so the bike did a complete dead fall to the right. and there i was on the ground with a bike on top of me.

all of this happened in the span of two seconds. it seemed to take forever. i was upright one second and completely flat the next. i only hope none of my neighbors were walking past their windows at that moment. if they did, not a damn one came out to see if i was okay.
which, i was. no bruises or scrapes. my back was a little stoved up that evening, but after a few beers at the pub it was fine.

 

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Tags: bikes, july hates me

okay you guys, july is here. everyone just act natural. maybe july won’t notice i’m still here. oh, but you guys aren’t here to listen to my paranoid rants about july are you? nah. you’re here to see Teal Sha’Nille the Real Deal’s New Wheels!

a nice, new, shiny, bike!

shit yeah, it’s purple! and that’s my bike lock twisted around the bar.

look at all those sprockets. who needs 21 speeds? not me. but i have them anyway.

so now i ride my bike to work. it’s way more fun than walking to work, that’s for sure. although i admit i had not ridden a bike in 15 years until last weekend. and while the saying, “you never forget how to ride a bike” is true, it is like, WAY harder to ride a bike now than it was when i was a kid. and i’m not just talking about my fat ass either.

i feel way more fragile on that bike than i ever did as a kid. in fact, every time i start down a hill i’m all, “holy shit! this was a bad idea! i’m going to die! what was i thinking?! my bones! i love my bones! i’m not in control! oh god! i can’t believe they let kids ride these death traps!” and then when i get to the bottom of the hill it’s all, “that wasn’t so bad.” and the next time i’m going down a hill? “oh god! this is crazy! this little helmet isn’t going to protect me! what a joke! i’m gonna die! my bones!”

it’s a vicious circle that i’m hoping will pass once i get used to it. i’m assuming you get used to it.

mr. fleegan also has a bike. his is red.

he is much more confident about riding than i am. he flies down the hills just like a little kid. apparently his bones aren’t screaming at him, “you crazy ass! if you crash we are SO breaking!” like mine are.

so if i make it through july without any broken bones i’ll consider me a success!

there’s not a bike rack at work, and how pissy is that? it’s a library! it should have a damn bike rack. when we were kids we’d ride our bikes to that ‘brary and even then no rack. we basically just prayed that no one would steal our bikes. here it is 17 years later and there’s STILL no damn bike rack. c’mon RBC, how about coming off the hip for a bike rack? yeah right, those cows on city council consider the rise in minimum wage to be a “raise”. that’s because they are evil and they’ll not ever get my vote. and if they’d pay me a livable wage i’d take that all back. but not until then you greedy bitches!

can you believe that? $6.55 isn’t a raise, you asses. it’s the minimum amount you’re allowed to pay me BY LAW. i’ve never had to work for minimum wage in my life. and yeah, that might sound cocky, but c’mon, i’ve a college degree, i’m smart, i’ve computer skills, i’ve people skills, i have skills! plus, i’ve worked there a year and a half! i’m worth more than the minimum. bastards.

 

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Tags: bikes, july hates me, library

this morning my “special PROMIESES® messages” were

1. “Age is nothing but a number.” this one compared to the others is pretty tame, i think. it’s actually not bad. unless of course you’re reading it as, “Age is nothing but a number, you old cow, here, eat some more chocolate and all your problems will go away.”

2. “Discover yourself.” again with the suggestive masturbatory messages. what is that Dove factory even like?

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Tags: rant

lately mr. fleegan has been buying dark chocolate. i love the stuff. the first bag of individually wrapped chocolates was a bag of Hershey’s Bliss. get it? bliss? instead of kiss? the candies were not kiss shaped, mind. they were squares of foil wrapped dark chocolate and they were just fine. i really like to have a couple pieces with my morning coffee.

i don’t usually eat breakfast in the mornings. i do like breakfast food, but not first thing in the morning, you know? so if i do get up and drink a coffee i usually like to have a bite of something sweet with it. the dark chocolate works. i know that Hershey’s isn’t the “finest” chocolate out there, but it’s cheap.
and you can stuff it, you chocosnobs.

this time mr. fleegan opted for the Dove Promises individually wrapped dark chocolate pieces. they go really well with my coffee too, however they are highly annoying because on the inside of the wrapper they have printed little “special PROMISES® messages” which i guess are supposed to be little affirmations or cutesy things. but i’m pretty sure they’re evil because they put bad thoughts into my head.

the first one i opened said “Smile. People will wonder what you’ve been up to.” they’ll think you were doing something cool. but you were really shoving chocolate in your face all morning. only you will know about your secret shame.

the second one was, “Naughty can be nice.” and my thought was, “not according to Santa.”

the third one was, “Make your eyes twinkle.” and i’m like, “how? by poking them? dumbass candy.”

the fourth one says, “Buy yourself flowers!” and what they’re really saying is “Buy yourself flowers, fat girl.” which pisses me off. gaddam smartass chocolate.

the fifth one? “It’s definitely a bubble-bath day.” whose job is it to write this bullshit? bubble-bath day? it’s tuesday, asshole.

and can we stop here for a moment and mention that GUYS ALSO EAT DARK CHOCOLATE? maybe they’re counting on the fact that if guys eat this candy they’re just going to tear into it and wad up the foil to make foil balls that they can flick around the house/desk/wherever and NOT read the treacle on the wrapper. which is what i should start doing.

the sixth one, “Lose yourself in a moment.”
which i played back in my mind as, “Lose yourself in a moment: masturbate.”

and the one i had this morning said, “Don’t think about it so much.”
which is apropos for this whole rant, no?

“Don’t think about it so much.” piss off, Dove. at least Hershey just provides the candy and not lame bullshit PROMISES®. they should borrow jokes from Laffy Taffy and put them on the wrappers. at least those wouldn’t be so insulting to our intelligence.

“Don’t think about it so much.” oh gosh! golly! you’re so right, Dove! i just won’t think about it so much! that’ll fix everything. ha! what war? gas prices? work? bills? these words mean nothing to me now! i’m all Scarlett o’Hara over here fiddle-dee-dee-ing my worries away, thanks to you Dove! now i can live my life in a fog of denial and subliminal masturbatory messages! hooray!

 

 

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Tags: rant

Jan pointed out that i haven’t blogged about the punk guy yet. i forgot. so many things happen to me in a week it’s hard to remember it all. i’m slammed with characters all day, you know. oh you know.

so i come back from lunch one day at the ‘brary. i get to the circ desk and jan and one of my other coworkers (i can’t remember who) says, “hey. remember the mom that was hitting on you for her son?”
and i’m all, “yeah?”

“well, her son is here.”

“what?’

“he’s over there in the stacks, see?”

and i turn and look and it’s this big guy with a bright red mohawk, four eyebrow rings, and a spiked labret. at first i was all, “dang, no wonder she…” but then i noticed Jan laughing and realized that she was teasing me. that’s not the lady’s son.

so then he came up to check out and (i think he was checking out some nonfiction on rock n roll.) he was SO POLITE. i mean, he was huge too, very intimidating, but he was so soft spoken and polite and i was relieved because he looked so tough and mean. and of course he chose my line. because obviously. hee.

but he was so punk, right? i mean face all tore up and a red mohawk, and he’s in a library? is that really punk? what i mean is, i thought punk was all anti-establishment. and the library answers (unfortunately) to city hall. so wouldn’t that make the library the enemy?

but really, maybe no. because the library is probably the least “establishment” of gov. control. right? i mean, we provide banned books! so i guess the library is kinda punk. in a nerd kind of way. i would much rather the library seem more punk than emo.

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Tags: Jan, library

32. The Devil in the White City : Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair That Changed America by Erik Larson

The first 60 or so pages of this book were a bit slow, but then! Awesomeness happens and I could not put this book down. It’s a nonfiction book about the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893 (aka the World’s Colombian Exposition). The book kind of reads like a novel, but not in a horrible way that makes you think that maybe everything in it isn’t factual.

The parts about the World’s Fair was way more interesting than I thought it would be. I’ll admit the architecture parts were boring to me, but I think that’s because I had an american art history class that involved the fair and so it was a bit rehash-y. Plus, I’m not an architecture junkie, and don’t get me started on Frank Lloyd Wright. Yeah, I said it.

Some of the awesome things that came out of this World’s Fair was:

the Ferris Wheel (they needed something to beat out the Eiffel Tower which was the awesome thing at the previous world’s fair in Paris)

A whole city being lit by AC electric light.

Aunt Jemima pancakes

Pabst Blue Ribbon (it was said that this beer won the blue ribbon and so they just kept it in the name)

The parts about the serial killer, H. H. Holmes (an alias, but he had so many names/aliases that I can’t remember his real name, I think it may have been Mudge or Mudget but don’t quote me.) were so crazy. It was shocking to me that he was able to get away with so many murders right in front of everyone! I guess he was a VERY charming guy. Serial killers sometimes are. I thin kanother part of it is that back then, there weren’t that many serial killers around. Psychopaths were kind of a new thing, or if not new, then the terminology and psychology were new.

This was just a fascinating read. I really couldn’t put it down it was so interesting. I’ll definitely look for more of this author’s work.

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Tags: books, nonfiction, true crime

a patron comes in and looks at me and says, “you’re not one of those damned environmentalists, are you?”

so i replied, “nah, i drive a jeep, and i don’t hug trees.”

not that i’m anti enviro, mind. it’s just that his question garnered a smartass answer.

***

last night i met up with some pals at the local bar. (is it a pub now? i know it’s got pub in the name, but do we call it a pub? i’m not sure.) we heard some jazz music played by what appeared to be children. i kid, they were young, but probably in college. still, they looked like 8th graders. it was okay music but i didn’t like that they used a keyboard for the bass. lamey lamerson.

the awesome part (aside from spending time with friends) was that the pub (okay, i’m going with pub now. it’s in the name. on tuesdays, when they have jazz, it’s a pub. on fridays and saturdays when it’s like walking in to my highschool reunion? it’s a bar.) was selling two (2) of the amazing beers we tried at On Tap (in b’ham) they had the Lazy Magnolia Southern Pecan and the Rogue Dead Guy ale. i went with the Rogue Dead guy because it was only $2 a glass. a delicious bargain!

i think we’re making it a plan to meet up next tuesday. so i hope to see you there!

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Tags: beergrimage, library

Sistah Suzie gave us some monster squarsh and zucchini from her very own garden. she grew these with her own two hands and yard soil.

and to provide scale here’s a can of campbell’s condensed soup.

so for dinner tonight i made mr. fleegan’s fave of chicken and rice (which i call Chicken Rice Roger because it sounds cool as hell, but i’m sure that Chicken Rice Roger is actually something involving a whole chicken and not just skinless/boneless breasts.) and for sides i baked the squash and zuke. i cut the zuke into pickle spear shapes and the squash i just sliced up in the usual medallion shape (“if round is funny.”) Then i brushed some fancy pancy olive oil on the veggies and salt and pepper and breadcrumbs and parmesean cheesed ’em too. put them in the oven for 40 minutes at 400 degrees and KABLOOIE: dinner.

which would look awesome if everything hadn’t been the same color. shut up. you’re not Martha either.

anyway the veggies were great. the zucchini tasted a lot like fried ichiban. i could eat your weight in fried ichiban.

Thanks Snoozie!

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Tags: cooking, suzie

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